Depressed and need my girls...

I am so embarrassed to even say this because I feel like such a failure but I have to tell someone because if I hold this in, it will just make it worse. As you all know I am so excited about my surgery on the 30th and was all gung ho about the liquid diet. I had no doubts I'd be able to do it. Well...that has not been the case. Since Thursday, I do good all day and then night comes and I binge. I try so hard not too but I am so hungry that I end up eating a big meal. I know this means I'm not in ketosis and I am so scared my surgeon will cancel my surgery. I really have tried hard. Will I do this after surgery? Am I not ready for this? I'm just so down on myself right now and I'm scared. I can't talk with my family because they don't understand my addiction with food. I"m thinking of just trying to keep doing the diet during the day and then eating lean protein at night. At least if I know I can eat protein and still go into ketosis I would feel better. I don't know. I only have 10 days left now. I was suppose to be on it for 14. What am I going to do? Why can't I stay on it when everyone else can???

OK, deep breath!  I think (now, please note, I am NOT a doctor, nor am I telling you to not follow your doctor's orders) but I think that I would handle it this way.

If night is the issue and it were me, I would do my shakes during the day and then at night I might have a small piece of chicken with maybe a pickle and some cucumbers, or celery sticks so I could "chew".  On my diet, I was allowed protein drinks only and then also any watery veggies (lettuce, celery, cucumbers, but NO dressing).  So, if you are trying to do ALL protein drinks only, then maybe you are telling yourself "I can't do this"?  I am not sure, totally guessing.  SO you need to find something else to occupy  your time.  Maybe a drive in the car with a decaf tea?  Also, I could have any clear liquids like broth, or decaf tea, or SF popsicles, SF jello, etc....  So have 5 SF popsicles if you want, you would still be sticking to the plan.

This part was hard for me too, AND I will tell you I also thought, how am I ever going to do this after, but the cravings are gone, the hunger is gone, and if you stick to it for 2 days or so, your body detoxes from the sugar/carbs, and then you won't crave them.

Hang in there and don't look at "I have x more days of this" etc.. but maybe say I am going to stay on "this meal", etc.....

((HUGS)) Hopefully others will have good advice, but hang in there, and try to do the best you can.  It will be SO worth it in the end!  I am not saying I haven't experienced "buyer's remorse" in the last couple of months but hardly ever and I feel better than ever!!!!!!  I want to slide over and save you a spot, so hang in there!!!

OK...I am breathing! IT is at night when I'm breaking down. I do good during the day and just keep busy but when I slow down at night, I snap!I have the SF pops and the boullion cubes. My Dr. said the reason for the liquid diet is to get you into ketosis...well my husband does Atkins by eating less than 20 carbs a day and that puts him in ketosis. I figure if I drink 2 shakes for breakfast and lunch and a low carb dinner I would be much more successful and at least I wouldn't binge. That for the hugs...I needed them. Thanks also for assuring me that after surgery it is not this hard.

You can do this!!!  You are not the only one to have a hard time on the pre-op diet.  I had to do 14 days and I was mixing my protein with water and got sooo sick.  I thought there is no way I can do this for 14 days and then I thought the same thing you said. If I can't even do this for 14 days why would I think I could do it after surgery.  Well you can do this after surgery.  Your little pouch won't let you mess up too bad in the beginning

I ended up crying and getting so upset that I called a friend that had had RNY and talked with her.  She suggested I mix my protein with milk to give me more good carbs and that really helped me.  I put them in the blender and made them like milk shakes and it made such a difference and I could have some fruit mixed in if I wanted to.  I had fatty liver before surgery and my surgeon said my liver looked really good during surgery.

I could do 3 shakes & 1 lite meal or 4 shakes a day.  I did the 3 shakes and 1 meal. 

Can you call your NUT and asked her if you can have a very lite meal at night or if you can have some fruit like an apple a day.

It will be so worth it!!  Hang in there and if you need to post every day to get encouragement, then please post away.   Support is here for you.

Linda

Thank you so much Linda...I feel like I'm the only one even though I know logically that is not the way it is. I have not used milk so maybe that is why I can't stomach them. I will go and get some 1% milk today. They told me I could use milk and fruit. I will get some fruit too. I'm so glad you worried about after too. I thought that was another "only me" also. My weight is the ONLY thing in my life I've never been able to conquer and I guess I'm listening to that little voice that says I never will...I need to tell it to SHUT-UP! My gosh I do need my NUT...I'm talking to myself now!I have overcome SO MANY obstacles in my life...what is it about food that brings me to my knees? Thank you for your support. I knew I'd get that here.
Luv Ya,
Jenny

First I'm going to say this to you...........NOT EVERYONE CAN STAY ON THE LIQUID DIET!  I sure as heck didn't!  I ate a meal everyday!  It was a small protien packed meal but it was a meal!  I don't want to tell you everything I told you in your "CHEATERS" post from the other day again......so please go back and read it again.......  You are going to do just fine, now and the whole 10 days from now and after surgery! 

Now for your concerns about not being in ketosis........is your surgeon going to test you before he operates???  I would think if you stick to your liquid diet and only add a PROTIEN meal if you HAVE to have one you will be fine.....I'm not encouraging you to cheat......but I want you to know that if you are going to ............make good choices......

Tomorrow is a new day.......to a new you.....Don't stress yourself over this......because in a year it will seem so insignifigant to you.....and you too will be sitting at your computer telling someone else who is on thier liquid diet that it wasn't a HUGE deal.....I PROMISE!

Are you exercising?  If you are eating, you can exercise it off maybe and as long as you are losing weight in the 2 week period it will be ok.  Can you have cream soups as your liquids, that may help also. If it is only clear liquids then broth, jello, crystal lite stuff like that has to do,
Good luck, This is one of the hardest times I think you'll have to go through. You can do it.

Thank you...I think I can have broth soups but I am going to call and check. If so, that would help. I appreciate your support. I know I'm going to get there but it's just "getting" me there that is exhausting!LOL

Heather, Thank you for my little talk this morning...My doctor doesn't do any tests before surgery that I'm aware of. They don't even weigh us. I think my whole problem is that I don't see a way out. I'm thinking 14, 13, 12, etc...days and it is totally overwhelming me. I know if I can add a small protein in the evening that I would see an "end" and that would help so that's what I'm going to do. I figure a little of good protein everyday instead of stuffing my face with whatever has to be healthier! Thank you for being there for me...and yes one day I will be on here cheering someone else on!

First, not to scare you but I know of at least 3 women who had their RNY cancelled after the surgeon got in there because the liver was too large. It can and does happen.
That said, my surgeon didn't require a pre op diet. Thank God because I could never have done it. I am a hard core food addict and I ate up until the minute I had to stop.
The good news is that since having the surgery and going through the eating phases I have not been hungry and I haven't craved the carbs I was eating almost non stop. I believe I was able to detox off the sugar and flour stuff and I don't want it now, as long as I don't eat it. I am satisfied with the amounts I am eating. I never thought I could be satisfied eating a third of a can of chili but I am.
You can't compare how you will manage after the surgery by how you feel now when you haven't had surgery.
Just do the best you can. If eating a high protein meal gets you through it then don't worry about it. It will all be fine.