My life is changing.......

Thank you Jenny!

Luv you too!
Ash ;o)

You are going to be a Beautiful Grandmother!!! 

I deal with teen mothers every single day and the ones without family support have it really rough. Those who have caring families who help out financially, with their time, and emotional support usually finish school, get some college credits, and try to make a better life for themselves and their baby.

I think the worse thing that could happen is if she jumps into marrying the father.  Marrying because of the baby, living on an Army base, moving away from home and family would not be what I would recommend if she was my DD.    My daughter wasn't pregnant, but she got married at 19 right before her DH left for the Army and it was a really terrible life for her.  She got pregnant a year later and it was really hard not having any help.  She was alone so much in a strange place with no friends while he was out training and on trips.   I would have her file for child support and insurance benefits.  He shouldn't get off that easy. 

I'm glad to hear your school has a program.  Our local program gives them so much support and helps them make smart decisions.  They also help them get baby things like cribs, car seats, etc. In PA the state will pay for day care while the Mother is in high school so you might want to check that out.  If you didn't have to watch the baby every day while she's in school then it wouldn't seem so tiring to help her out in the evenings or weekends.  Her young life does not have to end just because she had a baby.  That's like saying that a young married couples life ends. 

One thing I would definitely do is get her on some Birth Control as soon as possible after the baby is born.    It is surprising to me how many young girls make the same mistake over and over again.

(((HUGS)))

Thank you Roz for the advice and kind words.  I always enjoy reading your reply.

I do agree.....I wouldn't be happy with her being away from us on a ARMY base in S. Carolina all by herself while he's deployed.  I think her and Zach can co-parent and be happy together raising he/she without being married.  Yes, I'm sure Kalei will make sure the baby has child support and benefits from Zach.

I'm so glad we have good insurance on Kalei and lets hope this baby will have the Army's insurance once he/she is born.

Hugs Roz!
Ash ;o)

No experience here, just wanted to send you out a little support.

Being a grandma is great, but being a teen mom must be very difficult.

Will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

Maria

Thank you Maria ;o)

I had my oldest DS at 17......... Just be there for her ...... She'll get mad at you at times....
I thought my step mom was always critisising me & how I raised him and my relationship with the dad......... Turns out my step mom was looking out for me and now we are closer then ever. Good Luck!!

I love Kalei just like I do my own blood children.  I hope she can understand the love I have for her.  Her mom trys very hard to make Kalei not like me.  She's done this for 9 years.  I'm always their for her and I know in time she will mature and understand the love I have for her.

Thanks!

Ash,

Look at it this way - not only will you get to enjoy a grandchild while you still are young and hopefully have energy, in 20 something years you may even get to enjoy great-grandchildren! How many kids get to have a hot great-grandma!

Tonia

Tonia you are too funny! Here's to being a hot granny! ;o) lol

Ash,
One of my daughter's best friends got pregnant the first month of her freshman year in college. She did not want to have an abortion, nor could she imagine giving the baby up for adoption.  It was not a decision of "I'm keeping this baby".... it was a matter of the other 2 options seemed unthinkable to both her and the grandmother.  I think she and her mom made the best of the situation. Suzanne (the grandmother) is raising the baby and Lauren is in her senior year in college. Suzanne (a divorced mother with a good relationship with her ex...Lauren's dad) did not want her only child's life to "end" because of an accident...probably a freshman year keg party and too much to drink. 

After the baby was born (a darling baby boy) Suzanne sent Lauren back to school 5 hours from home, to live on campus, and go about her job of being a 'normal' 19 year old college student - who happens to have a child.  Lauren comes home from college to visit on breaks and the first thing she wants to do is play with her baby (who is now 3 yrs old).  But Suzanne doesn't want Lauren's life to be robbed of her youth and her future.  Neither does she allow Lauren to forget that the baby is hers. but nothing is forced nor is anything 'swept under the rug'.  They don't try to act like the baby was not hers or anything wierd.  They have embraced the idea that "it takes a village" to raise a child so everybody pitches in with the baby.  Lauren's best friends from home all share in raising him when they are home on breaks, and Suzanne's best friend as well as her ex, Lauren's dad, all work together and it's like one big supportive love fest over this new little boy and the grandparents are all about accepting and forgiving Lauren and allowing her a second chance to have a shot at a future. Edit--- the future that Lauren truly wants. If she had wanted to stay home and be the mommy, that would have been ok with everyone too.   just sayin'

Suzanne is an exceptional woman and a great mom and grandmother.  I remember when I went to see Juno with my own daughter, I remember thinking, "what amazing parents Juno has too (even thought they were fictional (lol) - both Juno's dad and her step mom (yep...step mom) were about as wonderful to Juno as any dumb knocked-up teenager could possibly hope to have.  It made me take notes in my head that if ever I found myself in that situation, I hoped i could be as sensible, level headed and supportive. 

So that's one story that I think has a wonderfully happy ending....and beginning.  Sure, Suzanne is tired.  And she does hold down a full time job while also being primary caregiver/parent to the baby, but this was her wish.  It was her wish for him and for Lauren.  But I agree with Roz on 2 things... and Suzanne felt this way too:  (1) don't rush into marriage with the baby's father and (2)  for the love of God, don't get pregnant again.  Once is an accident. twice is just plain irresponsible and IMHO inexcusable. One little bundle can be a wonderful thing. Two would mean a lot of hardship on everyone involved. 

so my advice to you, Ash?  Watch and learn from the parents in Juno.  May sound silly, but I stand by that advice. (2) have K go talk to a therapist on a weekly basis for awhile. Not a school counselor* or a family planning counselor*, but a really good therapist. Nothing against the counselors... as long as it is someone really good.   Maybe both of you could see him/her occasionally since you will be playing such a big role (3) Keep the lines of communication open with K. And like Roz said, make sure she is on birth control after the baby is born.
Stay strong and optimistic-
Kathy