My life is changing.......

Ash, I didn't have to deal with this with my kids so I can't give you any advise except to just be there for her when she needs you(and she will need you)!!

I love, love, love my little granddaughters!!  They are so much more fun than children.  I'm ready for some more little ones because mine are up walking now and don't like the grandma holding them much anymore!!  Babies are such special little blessings.  I will say Congratulations and I hope everything works out for the best.

Please keep us updated on her progress.

Linda

Thank you Linda.  I appreciate your kind words.  I wanted to wait to be a grandma but I know we will all make the best out of this situation.

Hugs!
Ash ;o)

My daughter was 18 when she had her first daughter. She lived with her grandparents at the time. In some ways she grew up. She got a job that she still has, she is a good mother but she was still a teen ager and she still wanted to party. Of course it didn't work out with the father so she got involved with another guy and of course she had another baby a year and a hal*****hat guy was a real loser. Then she got back with her old boyfriend and got pregnant again. To make a long story short, she has 3 girls and her boyfriend has 2 kids. She is 23 now and lives with her boyfriend. They are planning to get married. They both work hard and have arranged their schedules so that they don't have sitters. I don't know how she manages with 5 kids but she does it. The other 2 are there on their days off. It isn't ideal but it can be done.

Well, I wasn't a teenager, but I did get pregnant my junior year of college.  I can't say it was an easy road, but I did raise my son for 7 years before marrying my husband (not the biological father, but a father in every other sense of the word).

My parents were at first furious, but once my little bundle of joy came, they were very supportive.  They even begged me to move back home so I could find work and finish school.  I lived with them for 18 months before getting my own place and finishing my degree at night school.

All the advice I can really give is to listen to your step-daughter.  Find all of you some counseling - she will need to know the hard realities of raising a baby alone and you will need to know when to step in & when to let her falter a bit.  You should also talk with the counselor at her high school.  Do they have any programs for young mothers? - some schools even offer child-care while your step-daughter is in classes. 

Always let her be the mommie, but be the best grandmother you can be (which of course means spoiling the little one as much as possible!)  Try not to think of this as ruining her life, but that her life is now taking a different path.  

Bless you and your family.  It's going to be difficult, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  You guys are going to be ok.

(And, for a laugh in these emotional times, maybe rent Juno and watch it together.  There is also an old Molly Ringwald movie - For Keeps? - about teenage pregnancy that may help to educate and provide a few laughs when you really don't want to laugh.)

Juno? Yes....we have that movie on our DVR.....that and 16 and pregnant......maybe that should have been my clue! LOL

Thank you for this post.  You actually made me feel a ease reading it.  I know her life is not ruined it's just for sure taking a different direction.  I was raised in a family where every birth and child was celebrated.  I can't help but he excited.  Am I nuts? I don't know.  I know times will be hard and I will prob. over step my bounds and she will have to remind me that "shes the momma" lol.

Her school does in fact have a program for pregnant teens.  I'm not sure if it has a daycare program or not? I know I will be very happy to keep the baby during the day.  If thats what she wants.

I was married at 18 and had my first child at 19 and I thought that was hard.  I wish I could say things wouldn't be hard for Kalei but we all know this is going to be life changing for her.

Ash ;o)

The only experience I have, is being a teenage mother. I was 17 when I got pregnant and graduated high school 6 months pregnant. It was not easy and my mother did allow me to stay with her.
I was supposed to go into the Navy after high school but did not, I chose to stay with her. Got my license as a CNA and took care of her. She is 17 now and I pray she does not make the decisions I made.

I have nine grandkids (and another one on the way in May!).  8 of my grandkids are children of my step-children.  I was never their Mom.  They have a Mom.  I am their Dad's wife.  I work hard to have a good relationship with them, but I'm still not their Mom.

I am the GRAMDMA.  These are my grandkids.  I love them all.  They don't get to pick their parents or have any input into their parents' decisions.

My advice is love them.  They will need the stability you and DH provide.  They are not yours to raise or support.  Your step-daughter and BF made the decision to make a baby.  They have to grow up and deal with it.  Help where you can and only as much as you are comfortable or if there is an issue with the baby's safety.  This baby is not your responsibility.  It is so hard not to swoop in and take control when you know the "kids" are screwing up.  Some times the school of hard knocks is the best way to mature and learn life's lessons.

I'm swinging lizards for ya, ba-bee!  I have this t-shirt too.  It isn't easy.

Kay

Thanks Kay!

Your right.  My motherly instinct has me feeling like I need to swoop in and help.  I need to let her and Zach raise this baby not DH and I.  We will for sure help if needed.  That's just who we are.

Ash ;o)

I'm 61and would love to be a grandmother. But I remember when my daughter and I looked at each other and said, wow, we made it through school and never got pregnant.  She was such a good kid, I used to kid that she would probably be pregnant at 15.  Anyway, she made it through her Doctorate. 
I am certainly swinging for both of you.  Life will be different than planned and hoped for but you will love this baby and everything will work out.  Years from now, it probably won't be a big deal.  Life throws us curves all the time, it is how we deal with them that makes us who we are. 

Hey Ash...I'm so sorry your having a tough time right now. A teenage pregnancy does affect everyone in the family and your right to rally around her with support. She will need it. My only experience with this is my best friend since birth. We have been best friends for 38 years and shared every aspect of our live together. At 16 she became pregnant and had Rebecca, my god daughter. Her name is Linda. She stayed in school while pregnant and went back after she had Rebecca. Her mom and dad helped her considerably and I did what I could. Mostly I loved and supported her. She turned out to be a WONDERFUL mother and Rebecca is blessed to have had her. Today, Rebecca is a married 22 year old who is married to her Army husband and they are pregnant with their first child. Rebecca is a beautiful and wonderful woman whom I was happy to see grow up. Although Linda had a lot of support with family, she raised Rebecca. It wasn't always easy but well worth it. If you ever need to talk, you have my number.
Luv Ya,
Jenny