Ok...here's what's bothering me these days. Therapists...chime in :)

Horse Shoe is in Henderson Co, between Asheville, Hendersonville and Brevard.  Lately it has been around freezing at night, mid 60 during the day.  Wonderuf.  Good luck on your surgery. 

Thank you Price! I will seriously consider the outside help option. 

I wanted to chime in but it seems there is much more wisdom here than I could ever give. I have trouble with my now 14 yr old and I feel it will get to this point later in time. As for now, I am a Military wife and mother also so we have that in common and I am an excellent listener. My prayers are going out to you to find the strength to face this and still be strong in the end.

I hope everything will turn out alright in the end.


Stacey

Thank you Stacey...my military sister!! There is a lot of wisdom here for sure. That is why I put it out there not only for accountability for myself but for the wonderful support you all provide. HUGS to you Stacey...

 So I am only going to make one suggestion...have him drug tested and tell him he can only live at home if he's clean...I would suspect that he is using something other than just alcohol and recreational drugs...sounds like he's supporting a habit...
If you are dealing with a drug addict then at least you can give the problem a name
and deal with it as an addiction issue and get the support and the medical care for your son if he chooses to get it...
If he WANTS to live at home you have something he wants and then you get him to prove to you he's clean...
I feel for you this is among the most difficult thing a mother can deal with...
SEAVIEW

Hi Seaview...he's been clean the times he's been tested but I suspect he's been still hanging out with buddies that aren't feeding the personality of an addict. I think he behaves like an addict in every way right now. I think for that reason, the meetings may be a very good idea. DH and I can certainly go for the testing card as a condition to stay in the home. Thanks again...you all are such great support!! HUGS!! 

Diane, hello again,
I am glad to hear that you are considering meetings. That is a very HUGE step and one that you will not regret.  I forgot to mention that I was a military wife for many years. It is very difficult to parent when your significant other is deployed. I remember well.  It is a good idea about the testing as well. Do not let that be your only stipulation as it is not difficult to come up negative on a drug test. You will need to have behavioral stipulations as well. Just a suggestion. You will get plenty more in the meetings. Take care.

Diana - I just want to pass on some HUGS to you hun! You've had some very good advice and I can't add to it. I just want you to know I'm here for you if you need me.

 Thank you Jody...I could use all the hugs I can get!! 

Diana,
I've been thinking about you for a couple of months now and wondering if DS was the problem  Some of what you wrote sounded so familiar to me.  I am going to PM you.

Take care of yourself and your family. 
Linda