Update on my resistant boyfriend!!

 Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my post last week about my boyfriend who was being less then encouraging. I really needed to hear from other people that their families gave them a hard time at first and finally came around.

As some of you suggested, we sat down last night and had a reallyyy long and honest talk about why he opposed WLS. On top of him being a personal trainer and medical student and having nutritional concerns, he finally broke down and told me that what was really bothering him was his dad's experience with rapid weight loss.

I had known that his dad lost a lot of weight in the 90's, and I knew that he passed away in 2003 from congestive heart failure. What I DIDN'T know was that in the 90s, his dad lost 200lbs in 6 months after using Medifast, the same protein supplements that my doctor recommended for me post-op. Since his dad passed away, my boyfriend has always "blamed" the Medifast for his death - thinking that the rapid weight loss worsened his CHF.

As we sat there, he was almost in tears. I don't think he realized that that's what was really bothering him until he said it. Either way, I explained that I am not as overweight or sick as his dad was, and that we have two totally different stories. Hopefully with that behind us, we can move forward with this on the same page.

Thanks again for all of your support!! 

Wow! He does have reason for concern but as you told him, things are different. I don't know anything about Medifast but perhaps if you chose another protein supplement, he would feel more at ease. You'll only need it as a supplement not a total meal replacement for the long term. I glad you were able to get everything out in the open and get some things resolved.

--gina

I missed your post last week, but I wanted to welcome you to the lw board and congratulate you on your decision to pursue WLS.  We all have regrets, and for many of us our biggest regret is not doing this sooner.  I read your story and all I can say is you are young and have the rest of your life ahead of you.  I admire you for not waiting until you are full of regret about the life that you have let pass you by.

We have all dealt with the family and friends who were against our having surgery for whatever reason.  Some have come around and some are no longer an issue and I can't even remember their names. Lol.   If they truly care about us they are going to want what is best for us and if we and our assembled health care team/support system feel this is best then in my opinion they should support our decision.  I'm happy for you that you and your boyfriend were able to talk honestly.  His concerns were real and deserved validation just as your feelings and reasons for wanting WLS deserve the same validation.  It sounds like the two of you are in a very good place to move forward.  I can't tell you how exciting it would be for me if I were in your shoes and approaching this life changing decision knowing that my boyfriend/best friend were going to be there with me to offer his support.  Seriously, how many people are lucky enough to fall in love with a personal trainer with a medical back ground to boot. Lol.

I wish you all the best in your journey.  I hope that you'll stick around and let us enjoy the ride with you!!

Julie 

I'm glad you guys were able to talk about his fears and concerns.

I too did the Medifast diet back in the 90's - guess what?  I gained it all back...

It IS very different now - and the more you are educated about what you will need to do for life to stay healthy, the better.  A lot of people think its a "quick fix" - but its a lifelong journey. 

Show him how you've done your homework and educate him - the more he knows the more he'll be onboard with you!

Best of wishes going out to you!
 

I am glad you were able to sit down and talk this out. 

Maybe he could go with you to an appointment with the surgeon and the surgeon could address his concerns.  My DH was very scared something was going to happen to me but he knew how much I needed to do this.  Meeting with the surgeon really helped him to feel more at ease with the whole procedure.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Linda

I'm glad to hear that you were able to talk about it.  I also posted last week about my husband not fully supporting me.  We had a long talk too, and he has come full circle. He's now excited for me, and is going to come to an information session for himself.  It's so great to have support here and at a home.  I hope that your boyfriend is able to move forward and continue to support you in your journey.  It makes it a much nicer experience when you're both on the same page :)  Good luck for your future!

thanks for the update, I wondered how things went.  Sounds like a happy ending.  Communication can be so very hard, yet that's what it takes in relationships.  Glad he could step up to the plate for you....and is deserving of you.

I'm so happy that you got to talk things over and he shared his story with you.  Just knowing what he went through with his dad should make it easier for you to understand why he feels the way he does. 

I hope he gives you all the support you need from him and we will be here to pick up the slack.

Great that the two of you had such an open and honest talk and it sounds like you are moving in the right direction.

I also wanted to say CUTE Avitar!!  Samoyed???  I have Eskies.

 Yup, she's a Samoyed... Our baby girl, Maya! My boyfriend and I got her in March when she was 8 weeks old. She was 4mos or so in that picture but now is closer to 50lbs!! They're similar to Eskies, just bigger...