Why afraid to tell people you had WLS???

In the beginning, I told no one. It was none of their business what I did or didnt do. I was unhealthy and I was not going to have another person tell me, that I need to eat less and excercise more. Selfish, maybe, but again none of their business. My husband and close friends knew and are extremely supportive.
Now, I have finally told my other family members and have had to deal with, the failure comments, I nipped them in the bud and just told them straight, support it or get out of my life.
I know a harsh thing to say but they have never dealt with weight issues in their life.
I am open and honest, to some, now but will keep it on the, only if I want you to know.

Hmmm, well I told all my family and close friends and some of my coworkers (who had WLS) before I had it. Other folks either guesssed or someone told them. My mom has told lots of people (maybe it is a proud thing? or it explains why I am thin and my sisters are overweight? Don't know).

Anyway, I am 2 and 1/2 years out now....and honestly, I don't really think of it much. People don't hardly notice or think about it anymore. For me I guess it is a privacy issue. If someone was talking to me about their weight and really had questions and I thought it would help, I would discuss it with them. But on some level it is still seen as a 'freak' thing. If someone says I look good, I say 'thank you'. The fact of the matter is I still watch what I eat, take tons of vits and have to work out.

I remember when I was here on the board all the time and obtaining the surgery and losing weight and dealing with all that stuff (and other things) was all a giant part of my life. Now it is a small part. I have a new body (still have issues about it and loose skin), have a new life style, but life and work and all that stuff still goes on ....and the other stuff fades in the background.

I am so thankful I had RNY, so thankful I can do things now....and I wish all of you out there starting this journey all the best...

but who and how you tell...is a personal choice and decision. I think when we are fat/obese/overweight it is just obvious and everyone knows...it is not a secret. I guess, I want to be 'normal' whatever that is...and now my secrets are more my own. Just my 2 cents....

deb366

I "wanted" to keep it between myself and close family members, but did tell a couple of people at work - since I had to take off so much medical leave. Well - - - news travels fast! I made the mistake of "assuming" my husband understood that I wanted to keep it quiet. NEVER ASSUME..........he announced it to a bunch of people at church (not in a negative way - he was proud that I was going to take this step to improve my health). Once word got out, there was no stopping it. So, I have "tried" to embrace the fact that they now know. I have only had one person have negative comments to my face, and that was presurgery. So far, I have proven her negative comments WRONG. I do feel like I am under a microscope and I don't like that part of it......but all of the compliments make up for that most of the time!

i chose not to tell anyone except of course my immediate family dh, dd, and ds. as a light weight i would feel that most would say are u crazy? BLAH BLAH BLAH u can do it on ur own BLAH BLAH BLAH
its no ones business anyway. and when people see that i have lost weight and they ask how did u do it i jUSt tell them my stomach shrunk (which is true) lolol and i eat small portions and it shuts everyone up....

I like that one........"stomach shrunk". ... lol

I did wait until I was two weeks out from my date to tell people at work and others who were more acquaintances than friends. I figured I'd wait until it was close to a done deal so I wouldn't have to deal with crap for months. Afterward I told everyone.

Most people have been supportive but I know some don't get it.

Interestingly enough, I find it harder to talk about the farther out I get especially as I have more and more people in my life who never knew me as MO.

I decided to tell only my immediate family and a select few very close friends.  What the thread mentioned by Rosa points out, is that many people are under the misguided impression that WLS is an 'easy out'...a cop out or a magic bullet. They immediately dismiss your accomplishment as an effortless windfall of surgery.  They would never in a million years believe that it is very hard work and it requires will power and resolve and determination as much as any conventional diet.  I know for myself, I don't seem to have some of the physiological deterrents to eating sugar or eating too much that some RNYers have, so this is going to be a long, hard road.  As soon as people hear the words Gastric Bypass they reply like, "oh".  This is very deflating and invalidating, for me anyway.  I don't need anybody's judgment.  If someone compliments me on my weight loss, like others here, I just say, "yes I've been working on it, thank you."  If asked what I am doing, I tell them I'm eating more healthfully -  mainly protein and veggies.

Another thing that people judge lately is the drain on Health Insurance companies for obesity-related expenditures.  It's not fair, but I think obesity has become the new scapegoat. 

I told no one about my WLS except my husband and 2 adult sons.  No one else knows.  I preferred to keep it personal and not share.  My Mom and sisters assumed I lost all the weight on a diet, and now that I almost 6 years out no one even asks me about weight loss anymore, in fact my Mom and sisters recently commented that they don't remember me even being fat. 

As to why I didn't announce to coworkers or church friends, I am a private person and don't talk much about my life to anyone so it didn't seem unusual for me keep it private.  I only recently joined a support group and I'm not even comfortable talking about with all these other WLS folks.  However, it is at this support group that I learned I a light-weight!!  WOW, I certainly didn't feel light-weight at 280 lbs.

Glad to find this group.

Welcome aboard! I hope you'll like it here and make it your home.

--gina

I am pretty open about it. I really don't care about what people will say or think. It is my body.