Why afraid to tell people you had WLS???

lptazbear66
on 10/22/10 1:02 pm - Murfreesboro, TN
I have heard numerous people on this board say that they don't tell coworkers or even others that they have had WLS.  I am curious why.  I have not kept it a secret at all and so far everyone has been so supportive. I guess I am considered a light weight on this board and many people made the comment of "you are not big enough to do that" but very supportive at the same time. 
I have found that most people are very cusious about the surgery and ask good questions and have been very supportive since the surgery.  I have had several people that are very over weight also approach me asking about the surgery and have told me that they had gone to the seminar in the past but insurance wouldn't cover.  I always feel bad for those but I don't use my company insurance.
I am proud of my WLS and am fine to tell others.  I would have never considered this surgery if it had not been for a long time coworker/friend of mine from another state that told me about her WLS. 
 
  
    
RNY at Vanderbilt Nashville, TN July 26, 2010 with Dr Clements. All loss is post op        
punchynerd
on 10/22/10 1:12 pm - New York, NY
Hmm.  This comes up a lot.  I guess the important thing to remember is that one person's experience can be very different from another's.  It's a very personal decision, and we each make it from a different place.  

This thread was a very good one on this topic, if you'd like to check it out:

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_lightweights/4253460/To-tell-or-not-to-tell/

I have strong feelings about this that I explain in that thread.
5'4 CW: 130, GW: 130
Springtime Challenge to reach goal of 130 in spring MET!!!

  
MajorMom
on 10/22/10 7:16 pm - VA
I tell everyone but my coworkers. They're old military retired colonels and they think they know everything! Bleh! I just didn't want their dumb ass opinions, so I didn't tell them.

--gina

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
                                 ******GOAL*******

Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish? 
Join us on the
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DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny

kathymn
on 10/23/10 9:40 am
Haha, Gina!  As I'm getting older, I find I don't want a lot of people's dumb ass opinions!  Love your frankness. 
5.5 POUNDS TO 100 LB LOSS!!!
Linda D.
on 10/22/10 9:32 pm - Armada, MI
I was on the tell-all policy until I had a few bad experiences.  Now I am on the tell-selectively policy.  I will be honest with those people who I think will be open and supportive.  For others who, from past experience, I can expect to be critical and know-it-all, then I do not.
Kiminey65
on 10/22/10 9:57 pm
RNY on 10/25/10 with
I am on the fence on this one.... I am pre-op at the moment, and feel very vulnerable. I am so close to my date, and find I need a lot a reassurance that my decision is "ok" and cannot handle criticizm at the present time and am simply taking care of "me"

I also think that due to our "lightweight" status and the stigma of WLS being for ONLY the morbidly obese those of us who are a tad "petite" don't receive the compassion that a much larger person does, even though we too have struggled with this weight issue as well...

I also work in a very public place, and in my early days, I want to adjust to my new system without all eyes on me, again because I am insecure. I do not like failing in such an open arena, and have failed so many times in the past, I need to adjust. That being said I have told those select few that I feel will be there for me.(And they are) I hope to be comfortable enough to "come clean" when those I didn't tell will begin noticing my weight loss, we will see. (I also plan to wear my cosmetolgy cape a lot to conceal only because I don't want attention right away)

In my area there are a lot of people who have had WLS and I think most are supportive of it. I feel like a "pioneer" for the lighter people, and do not necessarily reli****>


                
(deactivated member)
on 10/22/10 9:56 pm, edited 10/22/10 9:56 pm
I guess I feel like I deserve the right to put myself and my eventual career success first - that I dont have to sacrifice myself and my anonymity at the drop of a hat to help any and all who seemingly need fixing .

For me this feels very healthy .

That said I have talked about my surgery many times in quasi anonymous forums like OA .... where many people keep theirs secret as if it was something to be ashamed of or " cheating ".

In reality its a VERY useful tool and i am still firmly of the opinion ( and the statistics bear me out ) that people who have 100 lbs or close to it to lose NEED the help of both surgery AND post op support to get and keep the majority of their excess weight off long term.







Sarah P.
on 10/22/10 10:10 pm
I did not tell anyone but my husband, mother and sister and of course, and my best friend. I didn't fell becsaue I didn't think that it was  anyones business. I used my insurance but I work for a government agency so it would not directly effect anyone. I didn't want my co workers to know becase they would not be supportive and i thought It would make it harder for me.

HW / SW / CW / GW
270   252   178 150        
paranoidmother21
on 10/22/10 11:39 pm - Lake Zurich, IL
My first answer to people is that it was metabolic surgery. If I go further, I tell them that it was Roux-en-Y and rerouted my intestines due to metabolic problems. Those who say it sounds like gastric bypass I say "yup," that's it.

When I say I had weight loss surgery, I get so much flack about being a light weight, why not take another shot an other methods, all those inappropriate, aggravating comments.

When I say that I had health issues that required metabolic surgery, and that the weight loss is a concomittant of that, people don't argue. Since the reason I needed it WAS metabolic health, it just seems the most clear way to get my point across.

Does almost everyone who knew me before and knows me now know that I had surgery? Oh yeah - but they also know the medical reason rather than what they can perceive as the "fashion" reason.
Rebecca
Circumferential LBL, anchor TT, BL/BR, brachioplasty 12-16-10 Drs. Howard and Gutowski

Thigh lift 3-24-11, Drs. Howard and Gutowski again!
Height 5' 5".  Start point 254.  DH's goal: 154.  My guess: 144.  Insurance goal: 134.  Currently bouncing around 130-135.
      
Happy_Camper
on 10/22/10 11:46 pm

Before my surgery, I only told my hubby, 2 kids, 2 sisters, and 1 friend who had WLS.   I didnt want to hear the stories about how "my mailmans' sisters' mother in law had a friend who had wls and had this complication and that complication and she cant eat".    I think deep down I was also worrying about failure.  But now I tell pretty much everyone who asks.  I did tell a little white lie to a nebby nose lady a few weeks ago and told her I was eating high protein, low carbs, no sugar, & exercising everyday.  Which is all true. I just left out the surgery part  lol.   Its a personal choice and I have no regrets.  Good luck on your journey.  CIndy

Surgery March 2, 2010 -  5' 9"  -   HW 278 /  SW 260 /  CW 139 / GW 150

LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat                         

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