Did your family give you a hard time?

 Hi everyone - I am new to the discussion board and could use some advice/encouragement.

I am 22 years old and weigh approx. 206lbs with a BMI of 37. My mom had lap band surgery 4 years ago, and my younger brother had it last year. Now, I think it's my turn! Although I am not massively overweight like most that look into WLS, I am sick and tired of failed dieting and want to get my weight and life under control! 

I guess the question is - did your family give you a hard time when you first approached them about WLS? 

My mom and brother are incredibly supportive, but my boyfriend thinks I should keep trying to "do it on my own." He has no idea how hard/impossible it is!! 

Any advice and/or encouragement would be helpful! I am sure there are others out there in my shoes. 

Thanks!

My hubby wasnt 100% on board when I started thinking about WLS.  I told him I was doing it for me.  for my health.  I told him I would like his support but I was having the surgery with or without it.  He did eventually come around.  You have to make the decision for YOU.  Welcome to the LW board.  Wishing you the best on your journey.  Cindy

 Hi Cindy - thanks for the response! The cir****tances with your husband sound EXACTLY like the argument I had with my boyfriend last night! . I told him I was doing this so that I can live a long, healthy, happy life. I told him that I don't need his approval and I don't need him to agree with my decision, but I would just like his support. He is a personal trainer, so he keeps giving me "you can do it on your own" speeches. Frustrating!!! I hope he comes around eventually. 

I would be firm with him and tell him you have made this decision because it is the right choice for you and that it will happen with or without his support, but you would LOVE for him to support your choice and help you walk this path to a new, healthier you. 

I am not one to ask for opinions, so my family did not give me a hard time....I also didn't telll them until it the week of surgery since my Dr required a family member be at the hosp during my surgery and to take me home from hosp.

Good luck as you begin your journey!

My Mom wasn't on board until just recently but I think she was just worried and didn't have enough information about the surgery. She still was thinking it was like the procedure done back in the 80's. Now she is ok with it and will be coming to stay with me to care for my 6yo dd while I recover.

Maybe your boyfriend is worried for your safety. Maybe you can sit down with him and he can tell you exactly what worries him and you can calm his fears. Being a personal trainer, maybe he feels he has failed you if you have the surgery. This isn't true of course and you can let him know that.

Good luck in your journey...you are very brave and smart for being proactive with your health! :)

Well - I was 49 when I had my surgery, and I had a lifetime of failed weight loss attempts, with each regain being more than I lost before. 

I understand where he's coming from - because that's the way he was taught.  But - it doesn't mean it will work for everyone. 

Heck - even after I lost weight i was told "you know, you could have done it yourself if you just followed the rules you did after thre WLS"  - well I said 'since its so easy, why don't you just show me how easy it is to do it".  That was a year ago and this person hasn't lost any weight since...  I also had RNY which is malabsorptive, and I DO think I needed it to get me to where I'm at...

You'll just need to let him know that this is what you want to do - he can support you or not, but you're going to go ahead with or without his approval.  When you're healed then you can have him help you get into an exercise regimine.  He will be very proud of you!

Hi, my husband said the same thing when I first told him I wanted WLS.  We went to an info meeting, but went to the wrong meeting and afterwards he said the same thing your boyfriend said.  He thought I could do it without surgery and that he would help me.  We tried that and it worked for a while but I gained the weight back.  We went to the info meeting again and got to the right meeting and my surgeon explained how approx. only 5% of people who have a large amount of weight to lose will actually lose it and keep it off.  After that my husband understood and has been 100% on board and a wonderful support.  I would see if your surgeon has a information meeting where he explains the surgery and need for it etc. and see if that gets him on board!  Good luck!
Sandi

My husband and brother both said what your boyfriend said.

Then I took DH to a support group meeting, and he started to get it. He still says stupid stuff (like, "just eat more," or "have a Mudslide {booze}), but he's on board about the surgery.

As far as brother... I reminded him that he didn't get to boss me around when we were kids, and he doesn't get to now. At this point, he's fascinated by how it's worked.

I do get some flack from a couple idiots at work, but almost everyone has been very supportive.

Welcome aboard! Now is the time to do some research on all your WLS options. Don't limit yourself. If you don't want the constant follow up and expense of the band, check out the VSG. More options today than there was 10 years ago.

Good luck!

--gina

I had been told by so many that I could do it on my own.
Limit what I eat and excercise more, I did all that and more. When I got discouraged ( normally after 6 months )
I ecxercised my butt off, ate almost nothing and still ended up gaining weight everytime.
What proved it, was when I did my 2 week liquid diet and only lost 3 pounds.
Most everyone else will tell you they lost at least 10 pounds or more.
I have not had sweets,soda,carbs or even fsat food in over a year and still managed to gain weight.
My husband was super worried that I would die on the table, but was very supportive. I did not tell my other family members until recently. It is my decision, not theirs.
My question for your BF is, if he is a personal trainer, is he guiding you through a specific routine, complete with diet and excercise and doing it with you?
I ask this because a personal trainer would know how to support and guide through weight loss.
Hate to say it though, he may also like you the way you are and could be afraid you will leave him if you lose the extra weight.
That was one of the fears my husband had, we have been together too long for that to happen.
Sit down and talk with him, have him be completely honest with you and make the decision, if you think you may need it, then go for it.

I had lap RNY Aug 31 and I do NOT regret it at all!