HELP, how do you deal with negative people?

 Thanks. I think your 34 pounds gone is awesome! It's discouraging that even professionals can be negative. You are right that I can't change minds. Thanks for the reminder. I don't have to be the crusader for WLS, just let my success speak for me someday.

Sorry you have to deal with that.   I would love to talk to her and find out when the "taking the easy way out" part is going to kick in.  Let her comments roll off your back.  Stick to support groups & your friends here at OH.  We've been there, done that.  We got your back!   Good luck with your journey.  Cindy

 Thanks. I already feel this is a safe place for me. I go this Saturday to a support group from all over my area. It feels safe too. Thanks for having my back. Will do the same for all of you.

Wendy this just ****** me the hell off it really does. can i say one word "JEALOUSY" shes not really a true friend in every sense of the word .
id like to grab her by the gizzards and ring her neck. easy way out? hardly i buts my butt at the gym although grant it i cant eat much thank you god for my sleeve but im 4ever making the right choices do u think i wanna still eat chocolate hell yeah i do but i dont . so in a way it still feels like im dieting like before i had the surgery but at least now its working be strong keep ur head held high did u ever think just to come out and talk to her tell her how she makes u feel? maybe on her behalf shes ignorant and doesnt know anything about ur surgery maybe u should educate her maybe that will shut her trap up ????? this pissy new yorker is signing out

 Thanks. Wish I had some New Yorker moxie in me. You say things loud and clear (even in print). I have tried the educate part, offered her books, invited her to support meetings. I offered to let her read the three page letter I wrote for my insurance company. She knows I have struggled with weight for the 19 years I have known her.I think the only way I can reach her is to succeed. I intend to do that.

 Thanks. It is comforting to know I have friends I didn't even know I had! I am seeing a therapist to get ready for surgery and have learned "reframing". Take whatever and look at it through a different "frame" or point of view. It isn't easy, but so worth doing. 

People always will have their opinion and we do not have control over it. It is your body, your health, your decision and your journey. Tell your friend to keep her negative comments to herself. Keep yourself foccus on your path to a slender healthy person!!!!! Take care

You tell your friend that there's a good chance that this surgery will put your diabetes in remission and extend your life.  You certainly deserve that.  I'm not sure how old you are, but I know as I get older my patience is slim with naysayer friends.  You may want to set her down and tell her that obesity is more than eating too much and not exercising enough, and that you would love her support during this new phase of your life and if she's unable to give that then you'll get your support elsewhere.  Hang in there.  By the way, really cute dog!

 Thanks. I am 64, so I feel this is time to take charge of my health and in my research RNY is best for me. Likely to end my diabetes and high cholesterol and tryglicerides (sp?), my co-morbidities. I know how complicated losing and keeping weight off is. 

Thanks for the compliment to my dog, Miss Beatrice, a rescue terrier mix. She keeps my going and walking. Good luck with your process. I hope you have a date soon, if I read you profile right.