HELP, how do you deal with negative people?

I have dealt with a lot of negativity as well. My close family didn't want me to have surgery, but I had done my research, showed them my BMI, etc. and they got on board. My husband (who didn't have surgery, but eats like me) and I have lost over a hundred pounds each. My family is super supportive and tells us all the time how great we look, but his family has made tons of crappy comments about how we look sickly, look older, look like we have eating disorders, etc. His family is all morbidly obese, and my family is all healthy and normal weight. So I figure it's jealousy. I get the "you aren't going to lose any more are you?" and "you really look too thin" etc all the time. I don't care. I look and feel better than I ever have, and I am still well within the healthy BMI range. I have tons of muscle, and I am in no way sickly.

Move forward, and follow your program. Surgery is not the easy way out that most people believe it is. It's just that little extra help that some of us need to get healthy. Cut ties if you have to. Do what is right and healthy for you.

 Thanks. I see your picture and you look awesome, not sickly! That would have to be jealousy looming "large" from the obese members of the family.

That's what I think too. They are always trying different fad diets and diet pills, but just can't or won't exercise and eat right. It's sad. My brother in law is 20 years old and weighs (at his last dr appt 2 years ago) 465 pounds. I want him to have surgery, but I don't pu**** on him.

 Ah Ah  You mentioned the key word...she is of normal weight... so she has no idea of the struggles you have endured through out the years.  I have two close friends for over 30 years and they are of normal weight and they are supportive and very happy for me... and for the first time  I feel normal around these women  I finally feel like I fit in since I was always the fat girl in the room..  Its time to focus on YOU.. It's all about YOU NOW !!

BEST WISHES

Natalie 

 Thanks. You reminded me of the friends who are supportive, normal weight, and have always accepted me as I am, wherever on the scale. I look forward to shopping for fun again, not just to find the one thing that sort of fits at Avenue (our plus size store). I know my health comes first, but a few new clothes will spice me up.

You have gotten wise advice (above)....

The bottom line....you haven't had surgery yet, I'm gonna guess that you are a ball of emotions!
I know your friend has hurt you and is making you feel uncomfortable about your decision but
AFTER you have the surgery, you won't CARE the least bit what she thinks!!

You are gonna feel so awesome and you will be SO in control of your eating, weight and body! Maybe she'll come around, maybe she won't but this journey is about YOU, not her!
Stay strong!!!!

 Thanks. I so enjoyed your post about the Farmer's Market. You are right about the ball of emotions. Fear, excitement, doubt, impatience, you name it, it pops up. I like your comment that after surgery, I will feel in control. Right now I still feel at the mercy of insurance, my doctor, my bloodwork, all sorts of things that could take away my chance.

Your start weight and mine are the same. Your progress is wonderful. I know not to compare, but it is inspiring to see your ticker going down.

you know what bugs the beegeebers out of me........when people say that this is the "easy way out"!!!  oh my gosh!!!!  they just don't have a clue!!!!  stay strong!  let her know that this is the path you have chosen.....you'd love to have her support but if she can't be an encourager to you....just be quiet.  i had to say that to a couple of folks and now they are among my best supporters!   of course, i only told on the "need to know" basis.

best wishes to you!!!

 Thanks. I need to remember I can just say, be quiet, this doesn't concern you. Sometimes, I want to say, yeah, this is easy, have surgery, eat 800 calories a day, lifetime vitamin routine, exercise, all sooooo easy. I am now very careful about sharing information. Like the "need to know" basis.

Since this person has no understanding of obesity, it is going to be hard to change her mind.
I think that you may have to either except her ugly attitude or decide having someone that negative in your life, may not be worth it.