Had my first PANIC ATTACK this morning..........Anyone else?

At least I think it was.

Some of you know my mom had a heart attack and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and on the edge. She got better and moved in with me on September 21. She is very week and I now know I am a CAREGIVER I had no idea the extent of what I would be doing. How would I? My mom has always been independant even through all her ailments.

I have to help dress her, shower her, take her to all her doctor appointments, sleep with an intercom , feed her (make her breakfast and lunches)she will take about 5-6 weeks to gather her strength after her heart attack is what doctors and nurses are saying. I know she will always have to be helped with these things even when she gets stronger. On top of all this I run my business at home and have become very behind this last month. First from being at the hospital everyday, didn't know what would happen and wanted to be there. Then busy here helping her and sitting/talking to the physical therpist and RN about 5 times. Now I am in for the packinig and moving her apt by Nov 1rst. She also had about 5 appts in October with her doctors and I have lots of stuff to catch up on as far as the quarterly's for the business. I also have about 4 for me this month also so more missing work and time.

So this morning I think I hit my limit. Both RN & PT were here and it's also Monday(busy work day), and I had to run her to get bloodwork too. I started to feel overwhelmed, confused, irritable, chest pain and I couldn't breathe, very shallow breaths. I thought I was going to explode from the inside out. I couldn't think straight or do the task at hand. I felt like a ticking time bomb. I finally took her to the doctor and that's when I finally mellowed out. But it was the worst feeling I have ever felt. I would have given my right arm and my left for a xanax but have not had any for about 10 years or so. That was for anxiety, but not this bad.

So who also deals with Panic attacks and does this sound like it may have been one? I made an appt with my doc tomorrow. I really need to let her know what happen.
 

I've never had one but it sure sounds like a panic attack. I'm glad you're going to talk to your doc about it. Get the meds if you need them to get you through this. You've got so much on your plate! Will definitely keep you and your mom close to my heart.

--gina

Thanks Gina! I know it will get easier, it's just such an adjustment. I think when I have her 100% moved out, it will mentally help as well.

Melissa,
I'm glad you are going to talk with your doctor tomorrow.

Is there any way you can get some home health care assistant to come in and help your mom some to give you some relief?  Sometimes insurance companies will help pay for this when a person is recovering from an illness.

Hope you can get some help.  I'll be thinking about you and your family.

Linda

Thanks Linda!

I don't know if she would qualify for a home assistant. Her RN just discharged her yesterday. Everybody makes it sounds like she will eventually be up and making her own meals with the help of holding onto everything....but the shower help I think she'll need forever. She was so wobbly before her heart attack.

Sounds like a panic attack to me. I had them when I was a teenager. I was dealing with a similar situation as you are now. I was 17 at the time... my mom had open heart surgery. I was her caregiver. She went bad after surgery on me twice. She was a smoker. After surgery she got pneumonia. I was working, cheering, going to school, taking her to dr appointments or visiting her in the hospital. Trying to make sure the bills were paid, etc. I was her everything. I know how you feel. One day during this I went to school to take an exam. It had been a bad morning. I remember looking down and looking up didn't realize where I was. It was like an out of body experience. Heart was pounding. Couldn't breathe, couldn't talk, arms and chest hurt, etc. I actually blacked out. I woke up in a dark office. The doctor told me I was suffering from a panic attack brought on by Post traumatic Stress Disorder. The 4 years previous had been hell on earth. My freshman year our house burned, sophomore year my brother died, junior year I had reconstructive knee surgery on both knees, Senior year parents divorced and mother got really sick. The doctor said my body had enough! Try to take care of yourself. I had to learn that until I took care of myself I couldn't take care of my Mom or anybody else. I will say a prayer for you. I hope things get better. Know you are not alone. I have been there.
One of the reasons I had this surgery was out of fear if I didn't I would put my kids through what I went through. I have to live a healthy life. My kids deserve the best me I can give them.

Oh my gosh GM! You HAVE been through a lot. What I'm going through pales in comparison to what you did. It only took almost a month to freak out for me. Like I mentioned above as well, once I get her moved out 100% it's got to get better. After I took her to her doctor appt yesterday, I think the escape outside helped. But it was awful before that. I even started turning to food. Haven't done that in forever.

yes - I've had them too.  I had a very stressful job and would have attacks like you described.  Scared the bejeebers out of me....

Does your mothers' health insurance cover in-home care like Danielle suggested?  You definitely should look into it.... you can't keep up this pace.

And that's where my guilt would kick in...like what would they do that I couldn't? lol. It's like having the kids home for summer break all the time. Except they make themselves food and get their own drinks throughout the day. I feel kind of guitly already because although I'm hom, I'm in my home office all day (the den) almost the same room as her and can't spend time with her. People get the wrong impresson of "self employed"....I can't miss a phone call or we don't pay a bill. I am glued to this desk 8:30-5:00 Monday thru Friday working. So of course I have that guilt.

No reason to have guilt to take care of yourself and your business.  Since you do work at home, you are still there in case you're needed for anything major.

You need to take care of yourself.  You've have a panic attack and they don't go away unless something changes with the situation.  You being sick isn't going to help your mother one bit. 

Make that phone call today.... even if it is just a couple of hours, or someone that can drive her to her appointments, may be all you need.