How has Ur style / self-perception changed since U had WLS?

IM wearing a LOT less jewelry and feeling very comfortable dressing much more simply and much younger .

I think the many carats of jewelry ( and furs back when they were in fashion ) were a way of telling the world i may be unfashionably fat .. but don't mess with me.....

Now people try to mess with me less anyway , probably because i exude more self confidence lol .
Even my hair is smaller lol ( though not by choice ) !

I think back then i had a slightly middle aged look about me ....kind of a well- kept woman that sails into a room .... now unbelievably im even owning FLAT BOOTS lol...though i havent yet actually dared to WEAR them . Im competing with twenty year olds wearing their styles .. though at a slightly more refined level usually ....but i NEVER thought id be rocking down filled michelin - man coats and jackets lol thats 4 sure .....

im super grateful to have been given a meaningful second chance at life . Unlike a diet .. this actually WORKS . I mean .. im finally beginning to TRUST the loss ( after my one year surgiversary ! )

One big change i have to make every morning is checking myself from looking REALLY fantastic unless i want a lot of unwanted attention and no anonymity too lol ....I used to not have that CHOICE ....now i have to consciously dress DOWN most days . Weird , but certainly a million times better than feeling hopelessly trapped in your own burgeoning ( and unhealthy ) body .

Maybe thats really the biggest change of all ... that im not this person who perpetually has to live on a diet or obsess about food ..... that i can actually have room in the day to LIVE life between the OA meetings and the OH postings and the exercise and the working ....lol..... I guess EATING must have taken an inordinate amount of hours because U know what .. i DO have time .. Go Figure .....

I think another HUGE shift in perception was that before WLS i truly thought performing opportunities were largely OVER for me .... that my life was in its waning phase rather than its rise or its wax. I think i was profoundly depressed though i had no idea ....

But then again my last credit on a movie was as " Fat Relative " right before my RNY .... I mean who WOULDNT be depressed LOL ?! I certainly didnt expect to be a bride this soon either ....or really EVER ....honestly ... and i figured most guys who were interested in dating me were after my money or a provider .....

Things HAVE changed profoundly ... for the better thank God .....

I'm not sure where I am. For so long I wore my rank on my collar, and that and my years of experience, got me some respect. I didn't get really heavy until I retired, so I don't think that had as much impact on me as retiring with no rank. Similar in a way. I can't walk into room and have it come to attention any more. lol  But, at this lower weight, I might as well can. People do look and are very nice and respectful. I wish I knew how to "dress for success", but I think I might never get that figured out. If being small and having years of experience in my field gets me that same kind of respect I had while I was uniform, I'll take it.

--g
   

U know Gina theres this wonderful venerable All American institution that i tweak designs for called Brooks Brothers .... whose whole point of existence is flattering , confortable , preppy always correct not overdressed or overstyled but RIGHT dress-for - success clothes . For top- echelon executives .

We dress not only officers in the services ( who tailored Ur uniforms ?) but Presidents and those around them ....

And we have a WONDERFUL women's department ......maybe one day ... make one of Ur walks take U there ? I mean how can U resist the prospect of seeing Ava designed feather purses...... ( no no i PROMISE theres nothing radical... thats about the wildest thing they ever made and its very classic and great if i say so myslef ... put some eyes on the thing and it even scares cats !

No seriously though .... one of the main things they gently beat into you at $80,000 a year exclusive prep schools is basically to dress from Brooks and LL bean and Lily Pulitzer in the summer .... U'll always look RIGHT and APPROPRIATE and well.like a LEADER. Go there Ull know what I mean ... im sure Uve seen the clothes ..... maybe U just didnt know where they CAME from .....

You know it occurs to me that we both have valuable knowledge the other lacks ..granted mine is pretty trivial and superficial but first impressions matter .. a LOT and You actually know how to BE a leader .... and handle tough business situations ( like my present one .. not getting PAID fairly ( or at all) and bosses dodging the question without flying off the handle like i do and making a total spectacle of Urself with a public meltdown which sorry to say ive done more than a few times ..... ) .

.Why don't U let me consult for U style wise somehow ? I can make U look a foot taller if thats what U want ! easy - peasy grrlfriend .....no stoopid - looking heels needed or wanted ....and i will never take it personally if U dont listen to my advice at all ..trust me U wont be the first lol !!

And maybe in turn U can help me develop a reputation as something other than "does excellent , occasionally amazing work" but " hard to work with " " temperamental " " emotional " " dont get me started "

I hate facing this .....but other than construction crews of roofing guys who i seem to handle pretty well ( probably thanks to mens team sports- THEY voted me Captain - i cant be THAT bad .... ) ...... i dont deal with people well at all... especially groups where im in charge of a creative project ( which is precisely what i have to do for film stuff )

I try to do WAY Too much with a limited budget and ask ridiculous things of everyone ( rather than asking for more MONEY from the get go ) .... fly off the handle when things dont go my way ..... ohh they HATE me ..... its funny because people LOVE me in the beginning of the project and are ALL united in being ready to KILL me at the end .... then they ( somewhat , some of them ) forgive me when they see the finished product . Most of them hate me forever .

It hurts me so much when people point this out when i ASK for more money ..but they say .. you have a bad reputation as a crazy lady , are hard to work with and people HATE you . OUCH .

Even in the design field they occasionally complain ... they still WANT to continue to work with me ..... but they roll their eyes behind my back . I SO don't want to be that person any more !!! Can U help advise me and help me get taken more seriously please Gina ?

My Father was this petty tyrant perfectionistic my way or the highway person. He never got promoted beyond the first position he had when he came to this country despite being the number one oscillator designer in the world with 27 patents for Bell Labs alone . Only his Oriental assistants would put up with his screaming , tyrannical demands and perfectionism .... and im sure they hated his guts...

I would HATE to be that ..... yet i hear people saying im EXACTLY like that .. though trust me .... noone holds a CANDLE to Joe U know the whole situation makes me really SAD ....maybe U can recommend a good BOOK ?! Now im sitting here saying almost every company that makes my stuff ... and all MY assistants i deal with on a daily basis .. are Oriental .....YIKES . Really , really being anything like Joe is my WORST nightmare !

One of the reasons i gave up trying to direct my own indie projects etc was because of this feedback ....now i want to direct mini-pilots again to make a reel etc.... but i have to learn to lead better . Funny how U can run but U cant HIDE from Ur character defects .....

Thank God I DONT freak out the same way when im just an actor or a designer or a model on a job ... which is probably the only reason i get hired back lol ! Its only when im in CHARGE and the projects mine that insufferable Imogen comes out . I sure would like to tame that nasty wench lol....

Good Lord! They have $8,000 bags on Brooks Brothers site! lol  I'll bookmark your advice and do some shopping. I think you've also recommended Anne Taylor before and I do have several pieces of Anne Taylor clothing. I even have a pair of size 2 pants I can wear comfortably. They where regulars and I had them hemmed. I prize them because Suziewong gave them to me when the LWs got together in Vegas.

Ah...I just found "Country Club" on the Brooks Brothers site. I like sweaters and slacks for fall. Yeah, I think an argyle sweater vest is something I've never worn but think I might like to try.

 Gina, I would be more than happy to help you come up with a new look! If you ever make it up to NYC, I can take you to some of the good spots and I can help you.  

And, Ava's right.  Brooks Brothers is a great option.  I used to wear their clothes almost exclusively, though I don't really anymore, mostly because I've stepped away from the preppy look.  I live in the Village and one looks like a freak in Lilly Pulitzer down here.  lol

But the good thing about a preppy palette is that the clothes mix and match very easily.  They do the work for you, and it looks great.  Plus, they'll tailor the clothes for you at BB.  On the other hand, I wouldn't wear their clothes just around.  On off days, I think I'd be more jeans and shirt (just well-fitted jeans with cute shirt.) ;)

i this is what i would suggest with that argyle sweater Gina ... and i would hem the pants LONG ....and buy some clever cheaters ....remember those funny shape up shoes U liked for work ? well i just bought two pairs of platform sneakers !!!! off the internet !!! . Now platform sneakers with the RIGHT last are the BEST the most Amazing way to visually add 3 inches to Ur height ( literally ) while never losing a TAD of comfort and also visually losing twenty lbs of excess weight for those of us that could use assistance in that department .

As a matter of fact i believe in them so much if had a million bux id probably literally run to China and manufacture them right now lol...never mind a jewelry line ... these are the ones i found and they are GREAT ( and CHEAP .. and even real LEATHER ) oh yeah Bay- Bee !!!

( I actually ordered the black n brown ones from the manufacturer ( Volatile) for about 54.00 each with a downloadable 20% off internet coupon ..... and amazon has the white leather ones for an unbelievable 42 bux ! im getting six pairs yippee !! Havent had a fresh batch of platform sneaks for about six years since they stoopidly stopped making them ( at least with the right last .... the ones with the thicker soles and 2'" heels are nowhere near as flattering not comfortable ) . I got the first ones today and they are GREAT !! YAY ! :)

in defence of Brooks' mad prices .... i will say the fabrics and hand done tailoring are mostly tip top quality ( i personally would go for the CASHMERE every time ) .. the cuts are absolutely classic and correct and any item U buy from them will last and look right forever .

The chinos , for instance are no iron cotton , stain resistant , keep their crease and look great even after 3 days in the bush .... thats important for a leader to look freshly ironed as possible ... well certainly at least to be the best looking / neatest of the bedraggled bunch .... in real life it means U never have to worry about changing clothes before a meeting because of possible wrinkles or stains ....

theyre perfect for casual business when new and sailing and home depoting ad gardening when progressively raggedyer ... all looking perfectly preppy and patinated lol.for YEARS...

U can also find the stuff on sale .

yes there are lesser copies LEGIONS of them from J crew to a thousand other brands . They are not the same thing . Go try on ..Ull see what i mean..

Another tiny tip ... for most people shoulder pads look STOOPID . Unless Ure a frail old lady with horrible posture or a model with an unnaturally long neck ... u ll probably get a more flattering fit going down a size and removing the pad .

When u remove the pad the garment sits lower on the waist so what was tight when U tried it on now fits perfectly ....and the lack of padding makes Ur neck look way longer too .

Yep, yep. I think you're spot on, Ava.

--g

Gina - ready for a trip to NYC?  I'm game!!

Don't you have a Brooks Bros outlet out in Leesburg or Hagerstown?

I need some help too....