I knew it was inevitable.....

I am so sorry for you. I think you should get back on some meds right away. Call your PCM and explain your situation with his/her nurse.  See if they can't squeeze you in immediately. Tell them how depressed you are feeling. Remind them that you have four kids to take care of and your husband is away. Tell them you are having a hard time even crawling out of bed in the morning.
 I think seeing the doctor in person would be better than just requesting a new Rx of Wellbutrin, which makes you so drowzy. Your doctor might want to start fresh with a new medication.  

It is true that you won't be able to take some meds, but your doctor should be able find a combination that works.  Here is a tip that I discovered: If you end up needing to take a capsule type of medication and it is too large for you to swallow, ask the doctor to look into smaller size capsules in smaller doses.  It's easier to take 4 small ones than 1 or 2 huge ones.

So now that you have decided to get back on your meds, while you are waiting for relief,  do you have a neighbor or friend who you can call that you can confide in about your mood? It would help if you didn't have to shoulder your burden alone.  Is there a teenager in the neighborhood you could call on to give you a break from the kids if you are feeling at your wits end?  

I like the idea of getting a SAD light too. Although it takes a few weeks for it to make chemical changes in the brain, for me, just having the light on lifts my spirits.  It really does give the illusion that the sun is shining in the room.  I wonder if the PX might sell them.  Make sure you get a good one. Maybe the other SAD OH person could recommend one for you and you could order it online.

Take care of yourself, kiddo and reach out if you need anything.
Kathy

Hi Stacey,

Sending   your way.

Hi Stacey, I too am sorry you are having such a rough time right now. Depression is like a thief, it comes in and steals our essence. Everyone here has given you good advice. I've taken anti-depressants for over 10 years and I refer to my life as life before anti-depressants and life after. I've suffered through four very dark episodes of depression in my life time. It is crucial to build a support team for yourself. If you can also, it would be good to see a therapist for support if you have the resources to be able to do it.

Good luck feeling better, you'll get there.

I too have severe depression and on medication.  I stopped it and all meds/vit fairly soon after surgery, was gagging on all pills...then in a few short weeks the depression returned.  I finally got back on my meds and the deprssion lifted.  I encourage you to jump through any hoops you need to get apts with psychiatrist AND therapist, the combo is the best road to go I think, and I think a psychiatrist is better prepaired to deal with severe depression better than most PCPs.  Good luck.