Off topic....no libido

This is a little (ok, a lot) off topic, but something I need help with.  And I finally did make an apt to see my GYN doc next week to talk about options.

The problem, I have NO LIBIDO for about 5 yrs (newly married 2.5 yrs ago).  (Also have vag. dryness).  We rarely have sex because I am not interested AND it hurts like #@%$&*. It is not a HUGE issue for my husband, but it is an issue, and I would like to try and do something about it.  I will be 60 in Dec, post-menapausal x 15 yrs or so.  I tried testosterone topical cream and vaginal estrogen suppositories many months ago, no help.  I am thinking about asking for Estrogen/Progesterone pills and Testosterone pellets.  I was hoping loosing wt would help with this, but it hasn't.  Our relationship is otherwise VERY good and I have really no stressors in my life, which is also good, so I don't think it is psycosocial.  I think it is just a hormone thing.  Also I don't take any medication that should be decreasing my libido.

If any of you have ever dealt with this please help me.  Thanks.

Join the club! Being on hormone replacements helps some. It took several months to kick in though. I had to really push the issue with my GYN to prescribe all 3 hormones. I doubt over the counter stuff will help much.

--gina

Here's another possibility - pelvic floor issues. I thought I was in the same boat as you, but it turns out that I have an overly tight muscle on one side that is preventing sex. I am seeing a physical therapist to work on loosening up that muscle - it's a slow process, but there IS change.

Ask your gyny about having a pelvic floor eval - that might be an answer for you too.

Unfortunately I'm in the same boat, and DH is not a happy camper.  I never had a great libido, but it has gotten worse since my surgery a year ago.  I am post menopausal for a couple of years and 48 yo.  I have already discussed hormone replacement with my Doc but he is not a fan.  I will have to push for it I guess.  Dry too and wondered if that was the cause of the pain or it just feels like a vice grip locking him out, lol.  It feels like I got my virginity back, lol.

This is probably going to be a TMI post  lol  but here goes.   Im also in the same boat. I never had a high drive to begin with but since my surgery, its gotten 10x worse.  No desire, dryness, ect 

I didnt realize how much my anatomy would change "down there" once I lost weight.  Things dont feel the same. I miss the "padding"  Its all bone now.  The pleasure of sensual touch has turned to pain.  Oooyy and Im only 42.  Cindy

same here. I had a surgical menopause about 20 years ago and it was downhill from there. fot the last 10 years it has been the worst. DH sex drive was always higher than mine but we managed to have a happy medium. The last few years,though I would lubricate sometimes and sex was possible and I was "available" mostly any time he was interested,it was more like I was along for the ride and he wanted and needed more than just a willing partner.

I discussed it with my endocrinilogist and he prescribed  progestine and estrogen for me. It has helped in the desire department and I am going to ask for testosterone next visit also.

I feel more interested and more sexy. Even losing weight didn't help me a lot wothout the hormones so we are pleased with the progress.

Good luck,
holly

 I am in the same boat. Massive pain from intercourse. It is so bad that now I use a topical numbing cream to numb the whole area before having sex. I can't feel anything that way. This lets my husband have pleasure without causing me pain.

I am working with my doctor to resolve this issue so that I don't have to keep using the pain killer.

I hope this all works out for you guys. It's horrible to have this problem!

Hugs, 

Liz

i wish i can help you but i am the total opposite i have more of a sex drive than my DH ive always been that way . ive been in peri menapause since i was 43 i am now 51 and my virginia is like swanny river lolol no vaginal dryness yet.
i would def talk with ur gyn for sure good luck

Thanks everybody...somehow it helps knowing I'm not alone.  I hope my GYN willl not fight me on this....if she does, guess I'll shop around for a new doc.  Good luck to the rest of you in this same boat.  It is such a shame, I use to be a VERY lusty woman, and I have missing that part of my life if no other reason for my husbands sake.  I love him so much.  Today I ask him how important is really was to him and he said 8/10...ouch....I guess I should have been trying harder before now.  But with little interest and SEVERE pain....well I just haven't.  Didn't know how important it was to him. I thought about trying OTC lanocain, but figured it would numb his feeling too....maybe I'll give it a try before I see her.  Apt. 10/8.  Wish me luck.