New here and could use some help

Hi LWs-  I have been stalking this forum for awhile, but have only once or twice made a comment. I feel a little intrusive just jumping right in with a problem before introductions, but it can't wait another day.

I already posted this on the regular forum but I didn't get much advice, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that some of you can help.  I have developed a transfer addiction to my computer. One person laughed at that idea on the other forum, but I know for a fact that it is not uncommon.  What I don't know is what to do about it.  One person asked me "what am I going to do about it?".... and actually that was very empowering and I proceeded to think of a strategy that I would start immediately.  But I just don't seem to have the willpower to follow through with my plan to break away from this darn thing. I don't want to "get help" unless I have tried everything myself first.  

Do you have any strategies I could put in place to help me resist this hypnotizing thing?!

Thank you
Kathy

I know exactly what you mean. Total addict here.  I've just tried to compromise. I have a lap top in the den and I sit in there with my DH and he watches TV (addict that he is) and I pretend to watch and hangout on here, the DS board or Facebook. At least we're in the same room. Maybe this addiction will get better, I dunno. Right now, I don't have another interest to keep me as occupied. If DH can be addicted the TV, why can't I be addicted to OH and Facebook? Maybe the computer is the new TV. I know my kids rarely watch TV, they're on computer games and such. Maybe there's not much wrong with a computer addiction as long as you're not shopping in a compulsive manner.

--gina

Kathy, I was just thinking - what are you doing up!  (For the record, I'm up early because I had a nightmare about a work situation and needed to send an email to ease my mind.  And then I just decided to check OH.  And then...)  Thank God I'm one of those people who falls asleep easily.  

Anyway, back to you.

Key to success here will be figuring out what the computer represents for you.  If you're spending most of your time in support groups, then that's pretty telling of your desire for support.  Which may or may not indicate addiction.  I'm not sure.  

If it really is an addiction, then successful treatment will likely include some goal setting and accountability.  You might seek out an in-person support group.  Have you ever tried OA, for example?  Knowing a little bit about you, working through some steps might be really really helpful.  I'm thinking about doing the same.  And I know Lee and Ava sing its praises here on the LW board.

I could give more practical advice, but I'm not sure you need it.  You probably already know to limit the usage to certain spaces and times.  Pulling that off is something different, especially if your computer use is connected to receiving support.  To be honest, I'm not sure that's entirely the worst thing.  Scaling back (if possible) and diversifying your support systems are probably a good way to get at this.  A 12-step program (at least ostensibly) brings the quasi-anonymity that you get online, plus helps with the addiction that you're transferring in the first place.

What do you think of that?  

Please don't answer me (or anyone on this post****il after, say, 5 hours of sleep.  ;)

And please get some rest.  I worry for you.

xoxo    

PS - I am now CLOSING THIS LAPTOP and going back to sleep.  (You can probably air out your fellow computer overusers by checking the time on these replies...)

;)

I have to agree that if you are looking for support, then it may not be an addiction.
I stay on OH and facebook but only because I have nothing better to do and I am bored. I am searching for a job and there is only so many loads of laundry in the house.
Now if it is, I have to be there, cant live without it. Then try to set a goal for yourself. ( I had to)
It is as tough as avoiding the cookies in the kitchen, tell yourself that you are only going to do 2 hours of facebook 2 hours of OH and try to leave it at that.
It is very hard, I am still addicted and will be until I have my school work to occupy my time.
Good Luck.

I don't know if it is an addiction or lack of something better to do.  I used to be on Facebook, mainly playing games.  But before surgery, I stopped.  This site was much more what I needed.  I still am here more than necessary but have tried to add in some other stuff.  I knit, do stuff with my horses which I cann't do this close to surgery, garden which I am limited in. 
I'm wondering if some of our exercise, runners folks on this board have changed their food addiction for lack of a better word, for exercise?  That would sure be more healthy, huh. 
Anyway, find something to get you out of the house be it volunteering somewhere, exercising, a project that can occupy some of that mind.

Hi Kathy,

First, I'm sending hugs your way!

At one of my first pre-op support group meetings, there was a skinny woman who spoke up and said, everyone is going to need someplace to put all the energy that used to go into planning, buying, preparing and eating food.   She mentioned things like crafts, shopping, exercise.  On that day I said a little prayer that mine would be exercise.  It took me 2 months post-op to really get into the groove, but I've been sold ever since.

It's natural for us to need/want something to do once the food is off our plate (pun intended).

I used to have clutter and how I tamed that was to bookend my tasks.  I'd call someone and say, "my task is X and I'm not stopping until it's done".  That worked great for me and I haven't had clutter in almost 20 years.   I started getting addicted to chat rooms in 1990.  I did the same thing.  I'd call that friend and say "I'm not turning on my computer until X o'clock" and then I'd follow through.

With bookending, we call at the start of the task, then call when it's completed.  There's something about being accountable that really works pretty well.

What things have you added into your life since surgery that you enjoy?

Everyone is right.  Determine how/why you're using the computer, then come up with a plan that feels good to you. 

Wow- Thank you!  These are really honest replies with really helpful advice!  Who knew there were so many of us out there?!  

I don't think my addiction has to do with being bored.  I'm drowning in all the stuff I should be doing. I'm letting everything else pile up.  I'm avoiding doing all the important things I'm supposed to be doing: cleaning the house, walking the dog, grocery shopping and preparing meals, sleeping, exercising, being productive....It's gotten really bad in the last week or two!  I think maybe I need more fun things to look forward to.  I really love being on my laptop.  You never run out of interesting things to hold your interest.  I get really lost in it.  

I love the idea of bookending things.  I don't know that I have a close enough bookend partner who would make me accountable though.  

I'm going to start by setting my computer to shut off at 1:00am tonight.  That will be a start.

Any other ideas?

 Hey, you can bookend with us!  Why not start a bookending post here in the LW forum.  I bet you wouldn't be the only one to use something like that.  I'd also be open to bookend messages.

Maybe I'd even bookend some time to clean my home desk!!  Maybe others could use the exercise help.  There are just so many possibilities.

That's a great idea, Lee... and very generous.  Thank you.  I think you are onto a great concept here, given that so many of us spend so much time on OH....  This reminds me of how people use things like Twitter and their cell phones now, too.  Welcome to the new world, right?

Can you think of a couple of examples of how we could use it and describe how you envision it working here?  This is such a new idea for me.  I tend to rely just on myself for most things I do.... I even have a hard time delegating when I'm on a committee.  I usually just want to be accountable only to myself.  Hmmmm.... I wonder what that says about me.