You are not THAT fat comments.

Hi, Everybody!
I just got my surgery date (10/5/2010) and I have begun telling close friends and loved ones about my journey.
Well, one thing is beginning to be a common comment.."But you are not THAT fat!"
My BMI was 41 when I began this journey and now before surgery it is about 39.
I cannot tell you how upsetting it is to me! I was actually told by someone "Isn't wls for people like 300+ pounds or something?"
I was near tears the third time this was told to me! It is demeaning to all those (like me!) who are overweight/obese!
Has anyone else experienced this before and if so, how did you handle it?

 I didn't tell people !   I just didnt want to be subjected to  ill- informed opinions telling me what to do with MY body lol..

especially since the owners ofthe opinions didnt have to LIVE in it .  

Personally im VERY glad i didnt tell anybody but one person who helped me through the days immediately following the hospital .  

What did you say when people started to notice your weight loss??

I don't plan on telling people at work (but I think it will be hard not to say once they see me losing weight quickly..and I want to avoid any rumors..you know how gossips can be! LOL!).

I wanted to tell my family and my BFF..well in case something happens or goes wrong and I was surprised at how supportive they are (if it wasn't for the darn comments about me not being that fat!).

My hubby is 100% supportive and is even taking on the task of doing the liquids (for his dinner) with me when I get out of the hospital!

 You know the funny thing is ..people really HAVENT noticed !!

I guess i disguised my fat  pretty well....One guy did say U look like u lost maybe thirty lbs .... I replied .. nah more like fifteen !  Ya like ? and did a little piroutte  LOL.  I lost over a hundred !!  

The truth is the world does NOT revolve around my struggles with my weight .  Most people couldn't give a hoot .  

I did tell a few closer friends id had hiatal hernia surgery to explain the laprascopic scars when i wore my bikini this summer ( which  again , NOONe noticed or commented on, not once  ! )  

They DID tell me i had a banging body LOL .. and that helicopters divert over the marina pool when they see my pink bikini !!

Honestly ,... I dont think guys notice MUCH .  As far as women go , well i have been thrown a few dagger - like looks according to the guys around me.  Never  noticed em before , don't see them now .... 

I didn't tell anyone until one week before the surgery and when I got those comments I just told them that I am significantly overweight by national standards and my doctor and I decided to be proactive about my health.

I think most of us lightweights have been through this!

I didn't tell anyone either, other than those that needed to know. Sometimes folks think they're being nice to say you don't look like you're heavy enough. You gotta toughen up, babeee, let it roll off your back.
((hugs))

--gina

I did tell some people around me.
I am a nurse and some of my nursing friends were the worst!
But I continued to educate them and let them know that I wasnt going to wait to hit 300 pounds and have permanent damage from diabetes and htn, before I had surgery.
That usually shuts them  up.  Sometimes I hear but what about the vitamins?
My reply is, a lifetime of expensive prescription meds with lots of side effects or some vitamins everyday? I will take the vitamins.
Plus, I think people are used to seeing us big, and dont realize that we are really 100 pounds overweight, or whatever your number may be.  Which leads to the next dilemma, youre getting too skinny.
Congrats on your date! Good Luck!
Maria

Congrats on getting your surgical date!

Frankly, I don't think that the perception will change until those of us who have the surgery start speaking up and educating people.  So I tell everyone.  I don't tell them in a way that invites or allows those kinds of comments.  As they start, I give them stern looks.  And then they stop.  ;)

On the other hand I completely understand why folks don't want to share, and I support that decision.  
My advice to you is that when you tell people tell them with confidence and joy.  The slightest bit of timidity on this opens up the doors for the stuff none of us wants to hear.

But you'll hear it anyway.  Just plan to rejoice in all the good that will come, and let your satisfaction come from the inside, not from the outside.  As Gina said, plan to hear a lot of uninvited comments on your weight from now on.  

Good luck!

First off, congrats on your surgery date!  Second,  no matter what happens in life, doesn't it seem there are always those negative people out there who want to bring you down?  It's true for me.  Same people all the time. So, just let it slide.

I am choosing only to tell the "need to know" people- my kids, hubby- they already know. And, my sister in law, only because we need her to take care of the kids on surgery day.  Other than that, I don't think it's anyone else's business, and if I am asked- which it would be pretty gutsy for someone to come out and say "hey- did you have gastric bypass surgery?" - I am not quite sure what I will say.  Probably just smile, say well, I am working hard, exercising, eating right and working with my doctors to get healthy.


Good luck to you, and don't worry about those negative people- they are just the ones you need to steer clear of!

Punchynerd said it very well. Tell only the people that you know will be supportive. You're gonna feel so great about yourself that it won't matter soon. I'm getting the "you're too skinny" comments now. And, I just tell them that I'm following doctors orders. That usually shuts them up. Good luck!