I need advice please
My oldest son went to college last Saturday. I live in a 3 bedroom townhouse with 3 sons. The oldest has always had a room by himself because he's the oldest.
I told him that his brother was getting his room when he left for school. So today I cleaned his room, threw old school notebooks from 9th grade away, put his clothes in another dresser and put his keepsakes in the dresser as well.
Well, middle son decided to text him and ask if he could play an XBOX game we found. Now oldest son is pissed off like I've never seen. He says I had NO RIGHT to go into HIS room and go through and move his stuff! He says everything has a memory - sounds like a hoarder.
His cell phone is on my plan and his car insurance in on my policy. He says he's not paying me the monthly cost now. That's an easy one. He won't have cell service or car insurance if I don't get the money.
But now he says he hates me and this isn't home anymore.
Granted, I've had a doozy of a rotten day... hospital is trying to cut my salary by 20% and I broke my toe today. So, I'm a bit emotionally frazzled, but I don't know what to say to him. We have always had a really cool and tight relationship.
HELP??
NO man or woman is worth your tears... and the one who IS,
won't make you cry!!
Lap RNY 5/21/08 Pre-op - 222 / Current - 137 / Goal -135
I will give it a few days.
NO man or woman is worth your tears... and the one who IS,
won't make you cry!!
Lap RNY 5/21/08 Pre-op - 222 / Current - 137 / Goal -135
Give him a couple of weeks and let him calm down. Save anything you can and just pack it and tell him it's there when he wants it. That's about all you can do.
((hugs))
--gina
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
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Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
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DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
I texted that I was sorry I didn't involve him in the process and he said that he has panic attacks when people touch his "stuff" - would have been nice to know that before now!
NO man or woman is worth your tears... and the one who IS,
won't make you cry!!
Lap RNY 5/21/08 Pre-op - 222 / Current - 137 / Goal -135
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
on 8/30/10 11:36 am
Ruby
rny 3/2005
262/125/140
hi/lo/today
I can kind of see where he is coming from - he probably thinks he doesn't have a place to call his now(even though he really does still have this at your home). Maybe you can reassure him that he does still have a place at your house.
Good luck.
Linda
It sounds more like other stuff is going on. He's away from home, probably afraid you'll forget about him, picturing all the fun you and the boys are having together. Maybe he's homesick? It sounds more like he doesn't want you and the boys to forget him and have too much fun while he's gone. I think it's tough being the oldest and being gone first because he doesn't know what it's like for those of you left at home. Those are just random thoughts.
I'd say, don't punish him because you want a return of your good relationship as quickly as possible. Turning off his cell would punish him and he doesn't need that right now. Starting school is a big deal without the additional stress. Does he have his car at college? If yes, remind him that he needs insurance to drive and that it would be a hardship for you to make the payments for him. Tell him that you'd like to talk to him when he feels ready, but that you understand what a big transition this is for him. Explain that you really didn't know that he would react this way and that you wish that he had been able to talk to you about his room and the changes before he left.
Where did he go off to school?
I'm so sorry about your toe. What a lousy day you've had.
Sign me..... formerly from Cleveland. :)
HW: 249 SW: 229 GW: 149 Age: 63 - Body by Sauceda - 12/2011
Things are a bit better with the son. At least he's not texting horrible things any more.
He's at Mount Union College in Biochemistry - wants to be a Physician's Assistant - already prepared for the Master's program there.
NO man or woman is worth your tears... and the one who IS,
won't make you cry!!
Lap RNY 5/21/08 Pre-op - 222 / Current - 137 / Goal -135