What's wrong with people!

I am so irritated!
In the hospital, I had one nurse, that while changing my dressings, states, You are not that big, why would you do this to yourself? I have tried not to think about it, but it keeps surfacing up and makes me mad.
What? Excuse me? This is on my second day postop. So of course, I have to be polite and start rattling off my list of diabetes, high blood pressure, back and leg pains, etc.
Then last night I was so excited to go to the support group meeting and ended up feeling like a loser.  2  weeks out? We thought you were done with your journey. Same question, why?
Do people really believe that you have to wait until your are so sick that you are almost not a surgical candidate?
I feel terrible and almost wished I hadnt gone, but then I got to meet Bo McCoy from OH and he was awsome. I also ended up winning a tub of celebrate's ens with a shaker that he gave away. Too cool. Well that salvage part of the evening. We tasted protein supplements and after the 3rd one I couldnt take another sip. YUK!
So I hope as I lose the weight, I will quit being a marshmallow and toughen up and tell people quit being so rude!
Thanks for listening.
Maria

well, you know what they say about opinions, right?

maria, unfortunately, lots of people do not understand our struggle. it can be demoralizing but its our lives and our decision. as long as you are right with yourself, no one else matters.

i got those same comments, but i knew what was best for me. i don't feel the need to justify to people how I live my life. that nurse was just plain unprofessional.

its ok to be a marshmallow! being soft-hearted is not a weakness, its a kindness. i'm glad you had a good time at the support group. sounds fun!

Welcome to the lightweight board...you are in the right place....I had the same reaction from nurses and anestheseologist in the hospital the day of surgery..they only raised their eyebrows when I said I was having VSG and one said "wow, I don't think I've ever seen such a small patient"...Never mind that I weighed 210 the day of surgery. All I can tell you is that I am now 4 1/2 months out...have lost 50 pounds and all I hear now is "wow , you look great...you lost weight.." We TOOK CHARGE of our health and did not wait for our insurance companies to decide that we were half dead and pay out...
You are going to do great....we all understand the why's.....keep us posted...SEAVIEW 

I think you need a (((HUG))) this morning.     The LW board is my Support Group.  No one understands what you are going through like us.....

I think you do become a little tougher in a way. You recognize that people are ignorant and jealous. As a LW, you will likely reach normal BMI and be able to maintain it, but they very well may not. 

--g

Thanks guys.
Just feeling a little sensitive I guess.
I just wish I could hug you guys!
Thanks Christina, never seen my softeness as a plus before, my family always teases me about being a softie. Thank you for your kindness.

Why you sure don't look Big enough to have that kind of surgery, don't you think you could have just did what your doing now and lost the weight without surgery? I really don't understand why you would want cronic diahrea for the rest of your life! I won't be able to tell any of my friends this is TOO embarrassing! BTW these were things said to me by my own family!!! Don't even think twice about these comments as they are ignorant utterings of mis- informed people who are not you doctors who are the ones *****commended the surgery in the first place. I got the surgery and am glad I did and I feel great and take zero meds for diabetes or High BP or cholesterol or apnea or......... My weight was visceral and that can be the worst kind as it strangles your vital organs and leads to all kinds of serious health problems. Talk about not judging a book by it's cover...lol.... Take Care .......

I can admit ignorance from family and friends. I can understand why some bigger patients at the support meeting might think you are already at goal, but this nurse has no business in treating you like that, babeeeeeeee. I'd make sure to say something about that on the customer service questionnaire the hospital will send to you after your surgery.


Jeff, I really like the one comment about having diarrhea for life. Hah.. when I think about all the Colace and lax I've had to take to get things moving pre and post op. I was actually looking forward to have things moving post op, but no luck here.

i think going through life soft-hearted is a gift. it hurts sometimes but you experience a depth of life that hard-heartedness misses out on.

I cant thank you enough for your words. It really means alot to me. Especially now without food to numb my feelings, I am really beginning to feel all the things I have been trying to push aside.
Thank you