doubt creeping in...

Well, I wondered if any doubts would kick in during these last days before surgery next Tuesday. I still feel very positive about going ahead, and I will have the surgery, but I guess I'm looking for a little reassurance from guys on the other side. The doubts come when I wonder how hard life will be after the surgery, but they're tempered by how much I know life will suck if I don't lose the weight and get healthy. I had a phone call from an old friend who had heard I was having this surgery. His exwife had surgery several years ago and has not done well with her health. He acted as if he was jumping in to warn me of this terrible mistake I was about to make, and it was as if he thought I was going into this blind and dumb. Of course I'm not, and I've researched and learned and tried to get healthier and stronger so that I'll be ready in mind, body, and spirit. My doubts are also tempered by excitement and hope - hope for a return to activities and lifestyle that became difficult with the excess weight. Hope for an end to these co-morbidities, diabetes, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, asthma, carpal tunnel... This hope is sometimes the hardest to believe is possible. Your stories inspire me and give me hope. Thanks for listening to an anxious fellow ramble on. I can't wait to join you on the losing team!

Joe, This is the first time I've ever been to this board. I had WLS 3 years ago and I've lost over 300 lbs. It hasn't all been easy especially in the last six months. Now medically I've had no problems and my health is ten times better than it was pre-op. I just hit 40 and my fiancee tells me I act like I'm 20 I can't tell you how gratefull I am for this surgery. I was researching a wheelchair when I decided to have this surgery. I was 35 and to overweight to walk because my knees and ankles hurt so bad. I decided on that day that it was time to take my life back. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I concerned about health issues down the road? Yes. Would I do it again? YES. This was the best decision I have ever made, but it isn't the answer to everything that some people think it is. I have seen and heard the expression 100 pounds gone forever. They are not gone, only hiding. I made some mistakes along the way and because of that I've never made my goal yet. I have another 40 lbs I would like to loose. I changed my eating habits and started exercising, but not enough. This surgery is a wonderfull tool that enabled me to get control of my eating, but the food demons are still there lurking and the further out I get the more I have to watch everyday what I do and eat. When I first started I had so much to loose that I could stray from my regiment a little and still loose weight. In hindsight I wish I had been more strict and I have no doubts I would have reached my goal by now. That being said I still think my surgery was a huge success for I lost 80% of my excess weight and I'm steady and loosing a little now again. I'm healthy and all my co-morbidities are gone. I had sleep apnea, high cholesteral, back and knee problems, but no more. I got the most important thing out of this surgery, I am healthy. If you have any questions or just need a perspective from a guy on the other side just let me know and I'll help in any way I can. Take care, Calvin

Hey Calvin, thanks for sharing your story... I am one week post op today, and every day gets a little better. I'm working hard at getting enough water in, then worrying about protein, then anything else. all those pesky doubts are gone, by the way. it's full speed ahead. I was so ready for this transition. Right now I have no hunger for ANYTHING, but I will listen to your cautions about not straying from the path. I've got too much riding on this -wonderful family, career, love of life- to screw this up. I have a list of co morbidities, and I'm praying that they'll start to fall away with the pounds. Do you post on the men's board? That's where I spend all of my time. It's been an INCREDIBLE support to me in this journey. 330 at first consult october 2005 317 in march 2006 304 May 2nd surgery date 294 May 9th so i checked out your profile... You must be a tall guy. I'm 5'9", and 330 was feeling pretty crappy I have to say. anyway, thanks again and take care! Joe

Joe, Glad to hear you are doing well. I do post occasionaly on the mens board. I am 6'2" and I guess 330 is all perspective. That's not that far in the rear view mirror for me. I started at 626 pounds and I'm at 314 now. I would like to loose another 40-50 lbs but I honestly don't see myself getting much lower than that. I am big boned and I can feel bones now which is bizare. With working out I have tightened up quite a bit and fit into 38 pants which was my goal pants. Here again I started in a 72 so for me to be in 38 pants is amazing to me. I carry most of my weight in my legs so I have to wear straight leg jeans but the waist is still 38. I wish you luck and I can't wait to hear that you hit your goal. Calvin