new guy---intimacy?

How do you get over the fear of letting a new guy see the loose skin?                     I look good in my clothes but pretty flabby without?                     I am 49 and seriously do not know if I can get over this hurdle , I hate the idea of being alone for the rest of my life but I don1t think I am strong enough to do the nasty with someone new.


please tell me how any of you have gotten past the fear of being with someone new and the loose skin?    Also I have always been self conscious even years ago when I was thin.



I look like an 80 year old woman nekkid!!!

candelight and dim light is what i do. an if they are doing it with you in the first place i hardly doubt they care. most men dont think that way.

what i'd do is... take your time and get to know the guy first (not saying you wouldn't, but there have been plenty of times in my life i myself haven't!)... and then prep him a little what to expect.

i have had a health condition i always have to explain, so i've been through this a lot over the years, just not with loose skin.  and some guys haven't minded so much and some took the first bus out.  my now-husband minded the least LOL.  so hang in there... it just depends on the guy! 

I am so afraid of this happening!  I am also 49 and my surgery date is 8/18/09.  This is one of my biggest worries...what to do about the loose skin!  I'm almost ready to choose the lap band instead, because that might decrease the loose skin (I hope). 

Is this loose skin just a given, or can we do anything to make it not happen!?

Well I had my WLS 7 years ago and really haven't had a problem with this issue.  I have lost 218 lbs and definately have my share of skin... ugh!  Anyway, the guys I have dated really haven't had an issue with it.  I usually told them about my WLS after a few dates and I'm sure they expected it (if they made it to that point.... lol!).  Anyway, I really hope you don't let that sway your decision!  I am now 47 years old and engaged for the first time, very happy and this hasn't been an issue at all!!!!!  The only way to get rid of it is with plastic surgery that I know of...

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck! 

Sheryl

After 40 the skin just doesn't have that wonderful snap back into shape skill.
Was explained to me that once your skin is so stretched out and abused it will most likely not all snap back in place. Think of it as a balloon, once you let the air out, your left with a saggy wrinkly empty balloon. I know that is an odd way to look at it, but yet you can get a good visual of it.

If a guy or gal for that matter is interested in someone, saggy ,baggy skin will be the least of the worries. I would hope people would look deeper then the skin and find that true beauty in people within.

Best of luck
Kelly/tink

Why would someone be comfortable with your skin when you aren't even comfortable in your own skin?  I don't know about you, but I am 52 and I learned along time ago that having a sexual intimate encounter with someone does not mean that they suddenly will want to spend the rest of their life with you. If you are seeking a serious relationship for possible long term commitment, like someone to be with you for the rest of your remaining years ... it only makes sense to take the necessary time to first learn to get comfortable in your own skin. Two don't rush the intimacy, be honest, let him love the person you are on the inside. The right guy, skin wont matter, if it does, he is not the right guy. It is better to find that out before you stress yourself over intimacy. It is just skin!