Who did you tell ?

Hey thirty somethings ! Hoping everyone is doing well and the scales are all going down. When I started to do research about WLS I spoke to my drs, (of course) my fiancee' and my best friend. I didn't say anything to my family until I had my approved surgery date. Everyone else has their own medical issues and I didn't want anyone worrying about me until I knew I was approved. My close circle of friends now know that I have had the surgery and I answer whatever questions they may have honestly. At work I just told them that I needed the time off for surgery due to complications of my health issues. I think that some of my co-workers may think that I have had the surgery but no one has come out and asked me. If someone asks what I am doing to lose the weight I just say that I am eating much more healthy than I had in the past and that seems to keep everyone from going any further with questions. Who did you tell about your surgery and why ?

Hi Terri, I told just about everyone i knew about me having the surgery! I was so excited to be having it that I couldn't keep it to myself. I was not imbarressed about it at all! I was doing this for me so I could live a healthy life. I had health issues that were killing me so why wouldn't I have the surgery. If some one has a bad heart and surgery can fix it they do it right? I told my work before I even seen the surgeon for the first time, I figured i might as well be up front so when I need time off for this Dr. appointment or that appointment there were no ?'s of why! Everyone has been so supportive of me that I am glad I told them My friends and f family and my co-workers have been wonderful through the whole process! I would do anything differently if I had to do it over again! Dawn

I was like Dawn.... I told everyone! I was so excited about it, I couldnt help myself. I told the people I considered friends at work, my family and my friends as soon as I started the process. The only thing I would do differently was the people at work. If I were doing it again, I would have waited until I was approved to tell them because they were always asking if I had been approved yet which drove me while I was waiting for approval. Actually, I take it back...there was one person I didnt tell right away....my best friend. He used to work with someone who died after having the surgery and I knew he was very much against it. I didnt tell him until I was approved and had a surgery date. I waited because I didnt want to have to listen to him trying to talk me out of the surgery. In the end, though, I shouldnt have worried because, although I knew how he felt about it, he was 100% supportive (but then, he always is...hence the best friend. ) Lisa L. 380/350/170

In this order I told my mom, my husband, our primary care physician, my aunt who had lap RNY in 3/2005, my cousin's wife and my direct supervisor. The progression of telling these people took place from February through September of last year. These are the only people that knew pre-op. Post-op, I've told my team at work (two other people in addition to my supervisor who already knew) and one other friend at work. Two months after my surgery, the director of my department asked if I'd had a bypass and I told her yes. I haven't told anyone else. The average age at the company I work for is 31. Most of the women that work there are fresh out of college, a size 4 and have never had a weight problem. I couldn't see sharing my journey with them. It's interesting as now that I'm down 75 lbs. I'm getting lots of compliments, but no one's asking too many questions. If they do ask, I tell them protein first, small portions, lots of water, exercise and vitamins. Blessings, Jennifer 253 / 178 / 137

my boyfriends philosophy was don't tell anyone but I didnt listen and told lots of people I was trying to get approved. I don't regret telling my family about it but wish I wouldnt have told my friends at work. Most of the people who I told at work, suggested I tell peolpe who asked because people would notice me getting smaller once the surgery happened. I work for a very small mom and pop type place and it is hard to keep anything a secret. As people found out about my interest in the surgery, I got every horror story imaginable. I listend and took it all with a grain of salt. I have since found some of my best support there but still if I had to do it over, I would have not told any of them at work. My boss tries to be supportive but asked me every other day when I was having it and it escalated into an argument that went badly and her telling me it was elective surgery so I had to work around their vacation schedules. Needless to say that didnt sit well. If I would have kept quiet, I could have just went in and told her I was scheduled for surgery for my stomach problems and she wouldnt have given it a second thought. WOuld have made work much less stressful.

I told everyone I knew and everyone I met. LOL I told the cashiers even, when I went shopping. LOL Who cares what people think... This is not the easy way out.

I suppose to each her own. I told my work, husband, son and 2 sisters. I did not tell my parents until I was home from the hospital. They were shocked at first but after 24 hours to think about it and hearing how good I sounded they were happy. My reasons were the same, did not want them to worry. Then I figured I would be more worried about them worrying. So then no one could relax. Now I have told everyone who ask. You tell people you are recovering from surgery and they think the worst, always. Good luck to you... Jai

I struggle with telling or not telling. I told my mother first and then my PCP. I have not told anyone else. My oldest son knows I am thinking about it because he noticed that I was on the computer more. I am such a private person, sometimes that good and sometimes it bad but thats the way I was raised. I really don't want to have to answer all the nosey peoples questions. I don't mind telling and talking to people that are truly concerned because I have got so much information from this board. But the nosey ones is who I am hiding from. I guess different strokes for different folks. Ms. Butterfly

I haven't had surgery yet (scheduled 7/10/06) but this was the way I approached it. The day my doctor recommended surgery I told my husband. A few weeks later I told 2 close friends(one of which had RNY). I told my sister(who told my immediate family which was o.k.). I went to my first appt. with the surgeon and then told my supervisor but asked her not to say anything. I let the rumor mill get through my side of the family after I told a cousin and said it was o.k. for her to tell the family. I waited until I was approved before I told my husband's family (they tend to be critical) and then I told some co-workers. Now I think all those who are important to me know. I don't hide it because it was the only fix for the medical issues that are plaguing me at 31 years old--diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis in both knees and facing total replacement. That's how I approach it when someone asks why or how do I fit the critieria. I just assure them I do and that this is the healthiest choice I can make.

Hello everyone. Just in the beginning stages. Going to my first Surgeon consultation next Tuesday. I have told everyone. If there is an unusual silence in any conversation, I squeeze it in there. And I only just got my PCP to send the referral. Am I crazy? By the way, I have only been looking on this web site for a few days and all post op updates are awsome. Once I learn how to post a picture, you better believe I will be doing the same......LOL