Any regrets ????

Hello everyone, I'm still very new to this site, I really like it. I haven't had my procedure yet, I'm still waiting to finish the last test...Soon, I hope.... I've been having some concerns, please help me: 1.) Am I doing the right thing? 2.) Will I ever regret my decision? 3.) How differently will my family and friends view me? 4.) Am I considered a loser for doing it the "easy" way, instead of excersing and eating right? 5.) Will I encounter a new set of medical conditions? I weight 250, 5', I'm scared of never being the same again...mentally, physically, psycologically....will I hate myself at times?..Will I have hanging skin, and hate it?...Will I have problems after surgery? I have discussed this concerns with my surgeon but I want to hear from you.......Please, Please help me, not make a wrong choice!!!!! I am very excited..but I'm also very, very scared Here is a question to all that would like to answer "if you new then what you know now, would you still go for it....Why?" Thank you for your help...carolbear

Good Morning Carol Bear.. here are some of my thoughts... 1) depends on why you are doing it.. you really have to make sure it's the right choice before doing this because although it's life altering.. it's bit about WLS.. I did myselgf and it really helped me get my thoughts in order about the surgery and why I was doing it. 2) I regretted my decision right in the beginning for like a nanosecond because I tripped on the fact that I just surgically altered my body for like and by choice and that's a hard thing to grasp in the first couple of weeks.. but when I started droppin off weight.. that all went away 3) My family and friends have been wonderful.. but my friends sometimes act like they are going to break me when they hug me because I've had major surgery. It's kinda funny because I've never really been a delicate sort of person. 4) This is the hardest weight loss program I have ever been on. But.. it's the only thing that has ever worked.. so you do the math. All I have to say is that you better check this idea at the door if you are going to have this surgery.. because you will have to exercise and eat right as a lifestyle change for ever more to keep the weight off. 5) Before doing this surgery I had to accept the skin as part of the WLS process.. it may or may not be something I have to deal with.. but I have definately dealt with the fact that I'm never going to wear a bikini.. I haven't had any problems after this surgery but everyone is different.. just keep reading this site and you will see that pretty glaringly. ... this is the best thing that I have ever done.. I wish I would have done it sooner. I have a new relationship with food that is healthy and balanced and feels wonderful to have that power back in my life. Because this has been such a wonderful process for me.. I'm a major WLS advocate now. hope this helped.. utlimately you will need to make your own decision.. and when you do or don't.. that will be the right time.. April

Carol; This site is great! I didn't find it until I was about 8 weeks post-op, and now barely a day goes by that I'm not posting somewhere. Here's my responses to your questions: 1. Only you can determine if WLS is right for you. 2. I don't know if you'll regret the decision to do it. I haven't for a second. Not when I woke up from surgery and felt like circus elephants had danced on my stomach while I was asleep. Not when four hours later, my nurse told me I had to get out of bed and walk. Not when in the hospital I had dry heaves and thought every one of my incisions were going to pop open. Not in weeks 3 and 4, when I tried a bunch of new foods and vomited 17x in 10 days. I feel so blessed to have gotten this wonderful tool. 3. I don't know how your family and friends will view you. That's something you'll have to discuss with them. Only my husband, mom and boss new pre-op what type of surgery I was having. My in-laws didn't even know I'd had any type of surgery until after I got out of the hospital. I only shared my decision with people who would be supportive. To date, I've not told many people. At work, only my boss knows. Not many of the people I work with have dealt with a weight problem and I know when I was in my 20s and skinnier, I would have probably thought someone having surgery was lazy and could do it through diet and exercise. Having failed many times over myself (not something I would wish on anyone), I know WLS was the only option for me. 4. All of us that have had WLS are losers! That's the joy of it. I've never in my life been a successful loser. That's what I am now and I love it! 5. You could encounter different medical issues. My mom had DS in 1998 and now has low blood pressure and some other health issues. LBP is the only one that is directly a result of her surgery. The others could be or could just be a result of aging. I was a "healthy obese person." My only co-morbidity was sleep apnea and I wasn't bad enough to be on CPAP. So far, I'm a healthy not as obese person. I can't say for sure what the future will bring, but so far, I don't have ANY regrets. It's natural to be scared. I never got excited about my surgery pre-op because I was afraid I might not wake up from the anesthetic. I prayed a lot and put it in God's hands. I figured if He had provided me with a supportive core of people, insurance approval and a talented surgeon that He would see me through. I wish you the best and ask you to feel free to contact me anytime. Blessings, Jennifer 253 / 196 / ???

Carolbear, I was within 60 lbs of being 400 lbs. On Dec 19, 2002, I weighed 343 lbs. Today I weigh 135. Would I do it again? In a milli-second!! I look back now on my life before my gastric bypass, and it's like a horrible nightmare. Sometimes I'm terrified the body I have today is a dream and I'm going to wake up back in that. I use to wear size 32 in pants. Now I wear size 2-4. People tell me how little I am. I can't tell you what that does. But I still have a hard time accepting it, and I honestly don't see myself as tiny as everyone else sees me. However it's a WONDERFUL problem to have. No you won't be the same mentally, physically, or psycologically, but you'll still be you, and you'll have a life that you can't even imagine right now, dear. You will probably regret it in the hospital, you will most definitely regret it when you come home, and it first hits you what you've actually done. You'll feel like you're in shock. I did. I went to my Mom and burst into tears asking her what in hell had I done? It passed, and the weight started coming off. This is NOT any sort of easy way out. You'll see that after you have your surgery. You'll realize this is probably the hardest thing you've ever done, but it will also give you benefits I can't even describe. I can't explain what my weight loss surgery, and my 200 lb loss has given me. I HAVE a life now, I'm not a slave to that food addiction anymore. I live, and I'm happy. Yeah I have hanging skin, and hopefully I'll have some plastic surgeries. I can sure deal with that a LOT easier than what I was before December 19th, 2002. I hope this has helped somewhat. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask me. I'm not a health care provider or anything, I'm just a gal who lost a whole lot of weight. Kim

Wow, I feel blessed to have come to this site and have such fantastic and caring people like you, April, Jennifer and Kimberly...Thank you for taking the time... I am scared, needless to say....I'm also very excited. The more I read the journals and everyone's quest/progress, I can't help but wi**** was me, finally being a success.... You are all true inspirations, I can only hope to be as proud, detirmend, strong, and confident as all of you. God Bless you...Warm regards Carolbear

I recieved a letter form my insurance they approved me to have an EGD with anesthesia (I have sleep apnea). I am so excited this is the last test. Dr. Rosenberg, the GI doctor, is a kind and caring man. He tells me that everything will be great and I shouldn't worry. The test is scheduled for tomorrow, Monday@ 1:30pm. When the results come back, Dr. Nishi's office will then submit the paperwork to the insurance....Please pray for me and wish me well, I will keep you posted...Thank you, for your support and caring.....Warm regards, Carolbear

Dear Carol Bear, I was scared too for months before my surgery. I was a compulsive eater with no hope for losing weight. I was scared that taking away the ability to eat would lead me to the psych ward...I'm not joking, this was a serious concern for me. What I know now, after 4 months and 80 pounds is that every day I wake up and sit on the edge of my bed and think about the fact that I did not overeat the day before gives me peace and happiness and confidence to take on anything. I feel great. The shame and viscious cycle of guilt and depression and resignation over never succeeding is gone. The uncomfortableness of post op (which can last a month or two) is a good time to 're-learn' how to live on normal/smaller amounts of food. Good eating habits are developed over time and the vigilance to adhere to sensible eating is not so difficult now. This surgery is freedom for me. Yes there are risks. Being scared is wise, it caused you to post your message for help. I have found this website to be so valuable because real people with real symptoms and solutions respond. I've even read profiles from people who had post-op problems soon after surgery but once they were fixed by capable surgeons and your body heals, the journey is worth it. I have no regrets. I wish you all the best. Cynthia S.

Hello Cynthia, thank you sooo very much for responding.. I had a chance to read your profile and, WOW, you sound like me and like how I will be after surgery... I am the most unluckiest person, ever.... If there is to be a complication, problem, or disaster, then it will surely happen to me. I'm really scared but on the other hand, I'm quit excited. I can't wait to be pain free from my back, leggs, thights, ankles, knees, and feet. I will also be extremly happy to get rid of the c-pap (sleep apnea), and be able to sleep on my back with my long hair cascading on my pillow. I will pray to God for giving me the courage to follow throught with this surgery, so I won't ever have to worry about getting any life threatening diseases. I will be grateful to be able to do aerobics and weights, then I can have tons of energy and stop being so lethergic so I can play with my little son. I can stop worrying about embarressing my kids, sisters, and mom becvause of my weight. I can stop worrying about going to a party and not having something to wear or being the fattest woman there. BUT, I'm scared to be nauses for the rest of my life. I 'm scared to have pain, to worry about complications from the surgery...I'm scared that I will gain the weight back and it was all in vain and for people to tell me "I told you so". Cynthia, reading your profile was very helpful. I read the entry form 11/7/05, when you were aske dif it was worth it...I'm afraid for my answer to be "NO". I', m afraid that I will regret my decision and ther is nothing I can do... Thanks for your help.....God Bless you....Warm regards Carolbear

I'm at the beginning of this process, I had my first consultation last week. I do have some of the same questions as you. Everyone on this board is like a treasure chest of encouragement and experienced advice. I'm going to print this thread and show it to my mom, she's about 95% behind me having the procedure. Good Luck to You!! Monica

Hello Monica, Sorry to hear about your insurance problems...But I'm glad that it hasn't crushed your spirit. My mom was very reluctant too, she kept giving me advice on what other things I should do..She did not understand that I was miserable, physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are Mexican and she kept telling me that I was fine and "that is what a woman's body looks like after having three kids". Yesterday, although I was scared out of my mind of what she would say or do, I informed my mom that my insurance had approved me and that I was waiting for a surgery date....After a ton of questions, she hugged me and told me not to be scared that she will be with me the day of my surgery and that she would help me any way she could....She told me to be ready for a lot of hard work and that she was happy that I was going to take care of my self and be here for my children, HEALTHY...She was genuinly happy for me, althought, I could sense her concern...I love her and I know that she respects my decision.... I'm glad that you were able to come across OH, they are the greatest..You can ask anything and they are so ready to help in any way they can...They have helped me a lot...I love looking at the pictures and dreaming that it will be me soon...I also enjoy reading the profiles and learning about others ordeals, path, fears, love, joy, etc.....I've learened a lot.I have been blessed to come across this site... I hope that it can help your mom and you... We are not to far from each other, if you need advice or someone to talk to let me know... I hope everything works out for you, Good luck and GOD BLESS...pray, it really helps...Carolbear