Not My Business or What...Kinda long

Fullfigured G.
on 10/6/05 4:41 pm - In the Corn Fields Of, IA
Hi BAF, Okay, I have an associate (I don't use the word FRIEND sparingly) that has a son, 10 months old and is now 3-4 months pregnant. She will not admit it, but her son was conceived by a caucasian man but she tells everybody that her sons father is my cousin. She constantly tries to convince me, my mother, his mother and ever family member of ours, that she speaks too that her sons father is my cousin. But we know better. This child has grey/blue eyes, bone-straight blonde hair, and a really pale complexion which are all visible signs of being fully-caucasian. No matter how many times our family and her own mother suggest, she will not get a DNA test done. I don't say anything to her about the situation, unless she asks, but her friends, my cousins friends, and a lot of the family, constantly tease her about my cousin, not being her sons father. Now, Back in April or May, she told me that she wanted to have another baby, so that people would stop teasing her about her son not belonging to my cousin, and I told her that it was the wrong thing to do, and that she needed to wait until her son was at least 2 y/o, since she is only 20 y/o (at the time). I told her that she should not listen to people, but if she felt that she needed a DNA test, then do it. Today, she asked my opinion, and I told her that I too did not think that my cousin fathered her son and she should have a DNA test done for the sake of the child. I personally don't believe in abortions except under the right cir****tances, and this is one. But I suggested that she should have an abortion because she and her son are too young, she still lives with her mother and the teasing is only going to get worse if this child comes out darker and looks black. My cousin has a daughter by another white girl and she looks as if her mother is black. Yeah, she got mad. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me and gathered up her sons things and left. She called me a couple of hours later and said that she was surprised that I would suggest to have an abortion and so did her mother, father, and my cousin. I told her I felt this way because I know that she got pregnant by my cousin, because she was not sure if her son was his and by her not having a DNA test it looked suspicious. I also told her that, I know she got pregnant so that this baby is his and that he won't leave her, and having a baby won't make him stay. So my question to BAF is, Was I wrong for telling her how I felt about her situation? I have to say that I am truly at her for getting pregnant, because I know she was on birth control and I know when she got off of them, because she tells me everything. Her son, even though in MY heart I know he does not belong to my cousin, is my baby too, and I love him, but I expected more out of her, then making this DUMB move. Suggestions please, no matter how harsh they are......
RACHEL LOVES SEAN
on 10/7/05 10:46 am - Clarkesville, GA
Well, this situation does sound messed up. And I believe you are right about him not being the father of the first baby. If she knew for sure that he is the father I don't see why she would have a problem getting a paternity test. But as far as her aborting this baby, I personally don't think that would be the right thing to do even though she probably did get pregnant for the wrong reasons. I agree with you it was a dumb move on her part 'cause lord knows that is not a guarantee that this will keep him around,but I just don't think that her being ''dumb'' is a good reason have an abortion, maybe adoption would be a better alternative, though I doubt she'd go for that if she knows for sure that this baby is definately your cousins. Anyway, Good Luck handling this situation!!
(deactivated member)
on 11/2/05 3:21 am - York Haven, PA
Here is my feeling...Unless a DNA is done..I say that because I have 2 friends, one white one black..The white girl had twins with her husband who is black...Adam and Ashley, Ashley came out caramel complected, brown eyes, curley thick hair, and you could tell that she was mixed, Adam on the other hand came out BLEACH blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, and as pale as the day is long...Now my other girlfriend who is black and with a white guy had a little girl, and she came out as dark as dark can be...And my girlfriend isnt dark at all, if anything we tease her and tell her she is High Yellow LOL she is really light skinned...It goes back thru the family lines...But i do agree with you that if she is young, and living at home, and thinks that she is gonna "trap" your cousin, by having a baby, that is down right selfish! I would sit her down and have a heart to heart with her if she is that type of person..I wish you all the best Jen
LillieGracesMom
on 1/23/10 8:27 am
I'm just wondering what any of this has to do with weight loss in your 30's, which is what this message board is for.
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