In need of some support
I'm 30, smart, have a professional career, went from 420 to 220 (I'm 5'10"), and yet I still feel like a failure. I am looking for another RNY patient that is feeling the same. I'm out 2 years from surgery. The food addiction is coming back mostly to fill the emptiness I feel inside as I see my friends with great relationships and I'm still single. As a fat girl I never learned how to deal with having a social life. i'm trying so hard but it always seems to feel like I'm lagging behind.
Sorry to throw all that out there, but I am just really in need of some support and some WLS comrades who understand where I'm coming from. I promise I am a positive person and can also provide reciprocal support!
I'm located near Tucson, AZ.
-Lyn
Sorry to throw all that out there, but I am just really in need of some support and some WLS comrades who understand where I'm coming from. I promise I am a positive person and can also provide reciprocal support!
I'm located near Tucson, AZ.
-Lyn
Congrats on losing so much weight. You should be so proud of the huge accomplishment. I bet you look and feel like a different person!
Don't let being single get you down. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happily married and love my son to pieces. I'm just saying that you should be taking advantage of your single days since everything changes so drastically once you have a family. Enjoy being able to do what you want, when you want to do it. No babies to tie you down. Enjoy being able to actually save money. Enjoy being able to sleep in. Definately enjoy your new social life. Just enjoy yourself and friends - do lunches together, shopping, laying out, going to the gym, going to the movies, etc. Those are all things that will be much much harder (like exponentially harder) once you have a husband and kids. Every phase of life has it's ups and downs; enjoy the "ups" of being single. Then when you find Mr. Right you'll be ready to settle down and commit and not have any regrets.
Good luck! Oh, and just take one day at a time with the food addiction thing. I find that it's very overwhelming to think of having to eat "right" and exercise for the rest of my life - it's still kind of a foreign feeling. But I just try to do the right thing each day and it's working so far. For breakfast, I would want a donut or something equally as horrible but I just tell myself that today I'll get a burrito from McDs and I can have the horrible things another day. Then after I eat the burrito, I'm satisfied and glad I did the right thing. Then I have the same conversations with myself for lunch and dinner. I also have to do the same thing for my workouts. When I'm feeling lazy and not wanting to go to the gym, I just make a deal with myself that I'll go today since there's no good reason not too. After I get there, I have a good time and I feel great about myself. I've never once said to myself that I regretted going once I left there. But if I don't do the right thing, I know I'll feel horrible and guilty after.
Sorry I rambled. If you want to talk more, feel free to PM me.
Don't let being single get you down. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happily married and love my son to pieces. I'm just saying that you should be taking advantage of your single days since everything changes so drastically once you have a family. Enjoy being able to do what you want, when you want to do it. No babies to tie you down. Enjoy being able to actually save money. Enjoy being able to sleep in. Definately enjoy your new social life. Just enjoy yourself and friends - do lunches together, shopping, laying out, going to the gym, going to the movies, etc. Those are all things that will be much much harder (like exponentially harder) once you have a husband and kids. Every phase of life has it's ups and downs; enjoy the "ups" of being single. Then when you find Mr. Right you'll be ready to settle down and commit and not have any regrets.
Good luck! Oh, and just take one day at a time with the food addiction thing. I find that it's very overwhelming to think of having to eat "right" and exercise for the rest of my life - it's still kind of a foreign feeling. But I just try to do the right thing each day and it's working so far. For breakfast, I would want a donut or something equally as horrible but I just tell myself that today I'll get a burrito from McDs and I can have the horrible things another day. Then after I eat the burrito, I'm satisfied and glad I did the right thing. Then I have the same conversations with myself for lunch and dinner. I also have to do the same thing for my workouts. When I'm feeling lazy and not wanting to go to the gym, I just make a deal with myself that I'll go today since there's no good reason not too. After I get there, I have a good time and I feel great about myself. I've never once said to myself that I regretted going once I left there. But if I don't do the right thing, I know I'll feel horrible and guilty after.
Sorry I rambled. If you want to talk more, feel free to PM me.
J's Skinny Mom
HW 238 / SW 235 / CW 120
HW 238 / SW 235 / CW 120
Congrats on your weight loss. I am 30 as well and have to lose about 200 pounds. You have given me hope that it is possible!
I know this is post is over a month old, but I wanted to respond back to it. You are the perfect age to start having a social life! Nothing exciting happens in your 20's expect no money for dates, men without jobs, gossipy friends. This will be the perfect time to get out there with your new body!
For full discloure, I will say that I have been in a great relationship with my guy for over 2 years right now. This is my first serious relationship and being someone at my current weight, it was difficult to break out of the "fat girl" side of me. I say this because on the following conversation about a month ago. I was talking to him about how I am going to be feeling after the surgery, that I think that it would be difficult to overcome that "fat girl" feeling. That no matter how I try, I will not be able to overcome that.
Then he shocked me by saying, "I have never considered you the typically fat girl. I have always considered you a skinny girl in the wrong body." He went out by explaining that because of how I carry myself out in public, playing on my female side (I always wear dresses/skirts), how always have energy, smiling, and laughing....he never thought of me as a fat girl, I was the only one that was allowing me to think that.
Now a lot of listed above is due to being a fat girl: I wear dresses because they are the only thing that fits me right, I am exhusted at the end of the day due to all the "energy" I have, I smile and laugh because I do not want people to mock me. But at the end of the day, I would only truly be a fat girl, if I allow myself to be a fat girl. (And it is difficult not to be a fat girl around him because he wears small shirts and size 32 pants)
So my advice...fake it until you make it. They don't know you as 420, they know you as 220...and still losing!!!! There are good guys at there that will love you: fat or skinny! Tell yourself that you are a skinny girl every morning five times when looking in the mirror at yourself and overcome the fat girl inside. And I fully endorse online dating to met someone. It was how I met my guy and he lived less then a mile away from me.
Again congrats on your amazing success! You have given me a great success story to list in my journal to keep me motivated!
I know this is post is over a month old, but I wanted to respond back to it. You are the perfect age to start having a social life! Nothing exciting happens in your 20's expect no money for dates, men without jobs, gossipy friends. This will be the perfect time to get out there with your new body!
For full discloure, I will say that I have been in a great relationship with my guy for over 2 years right now. This is my first serious relationship and being someone at my current weight, it was difficult to break out of the "fat girl" side of me. I say this because on the following conversation about a month ago. I was talking to him about how I am going to be feeling after the surgery, that I think that it would be difficult to overcome that "fat girl" feeling. That no matter how I try, I will not be able to overcome that.
Then he shocked me by saying, "I have never considered you the typically fat girl. I have always considered you a skinny girl in the wrong body." He went out by explaining that because of how I carry myself out in public, playing on my female side (I always wear dresses/skirts), how always have energy, smiling, and laughing....he never thought of me as a fat girl, I was the only one that was allowing me to think that.
Now a lot of listed above is due to being a fat girl: I wear dresses because they are the only thing that fits me right, I am exhusted at the end of the day due to all the "energy" I have, I smile and laugh because I do not want people to mock me. But at the end of the day, I would only truly be a fat girl, if I allow myself to be a fat girl. (And it is difficult not to be a fat girl around him because he wears small shirts and size 32 pants)
So my advice...fake it until you make it. They don't know you as 420, they know you as 220...and still losing!!!! There are good guys at there that will love you: fat or skinny! Tell yourself that you are a skinny girl every morning five times when looking in the mirror at yourself and overcome the fat girl inside. And I fully endorse online dating to met someone. It was how I met my guy and he lived less then a mile away from me.
Again congrats on your amazing success! You have given me a great success story to list in my journal to keep me motivated!
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