Six Months Out & Miserable
Long story short- I'm six months out and feeling wonderful! Except- now that I've lost weight I have a new found love for LIFE! I want to live it to the fullest...I've even gone back to school. This is causing major issues for my marriage and I'm seriously considering divorce. Would love to hear from anyone with similar issues.
Shawna
When I went for my mandatory psych eval the psychologist told me that some people may have marriage problems after the weight loss. She advised me to seek counseling if anything like that was to come up. Just a thought for you. I hope you are able to work things out for the best no matter what the outcome is with your marriage.
Glad to hear you are loving life and doing well with your surgery!!!
susan
Hi~
I'm gonna be honest with you. Before surgery, I was shy, didn't want to go out, didn't care about makeup and hair, didn't care about what I looked like b/c I always felt UGLY. After surgery and lost 100Lbs...it took me about 2 years to realize...DAMN I look good. So I met a lot of friends at work and started going out. I finished my degree, started wearing nice clothes, makeup. People were complimenting me. It was a new found confidence I never had before.
Anyway, where am I going with this? So fastforward 5 years into my surgery, I've been married for 10 years..we have 3 kids. I cheated on my husband. I had been with him since high school and frankly he was the only man I had ever been with. I was not capable of such things. I was so sweet and innocient. Even the sweet and innocent can become something they never thought they were. This guy made me feel so pretty and sexy. Something I had never felt before.
My husband has always supported me and he is an amazing man. He totally understood when I told him. He forgave me and we are moving on. I prayed about it.
My point here is.....if you want to be outgoing and you and your husband are having problems, seek counceling before you do something like I did. If it's meant for you to be together with your husband, then it will be, if not...then let him go. It's better to do what's right then to end up doing what I did....even if you thought that would never be you.
Just thought I'd share.
I'm gonna be honest with you. Before surgery, I was shy, didn't want to go out, didn't care about makeup and hair, didn't care about what I looked like b/c I always felt UGLY. After surgery and lost 100Lbs...it took me about 2 years to realize...DAMN I look good. So I met a lot of friends at work and started going out. I finished my degree, started wearing nice clothes, makeup. People were complimenting me. It was a new found confidence I never had before.
Anyway, where am I going with this? So fastforward 5 years into my surgery, I've been married for 10 years..we have 3 kids. I cheated on my husband. I had been with him since high school and frankly he was the only man I had ever been with. I was not capable of such things. I was so sweet and innocient. Even the sweet and innocent can become something they never thought they were. This guy made me feel so pretty and sexy. Something I had never felt before.
My husband has always supported me and he is an amazing man. He totally understood when I told him. He forgave me and we are moving on. I prayed about it.
My point here is.....if you want to be outgoing and you and your husband are having problems, seek counceling before you do something like I did. If it's meant for you to be together with your husband, then it will be, if not...then let him go. It's better to do what's right then to end up doing what I did....even if you thought that would never be you.
Just thought I'd share.
So glad to hear you are feeling wonderful and have a new found love of life!! Thats great!!
I have heard weighloss can cause problems in marriages, not only from my surgeons office but from doc I had to have my psych eval with as well.
I didn't really need to know that because I have had my own previous experiences with it already......
To make a long story short, you have to decide what is best for you and your situation.
You have to decide if you want to stay in your marraige and make it work.
Making it work is going to take some effort. You will have to compromise on some things, and possibly seek counseling. OR do you want to walk away and be done?
It all depends on how much you value your marriage.
For me, I have four kids and I really do have a good husband. I had to think of everyone involved and not just me, because that would be selfish. The grass is not always greener on the other side. My husband does love me for me, unconditionally with my imperfections and all.
We've had our share of ups and downs, as most marriages do.
We don't have alot of hobbies or outside activies in common. He's a home body, I'm outgoing, I like the outdoors, he doesn't. But thats where compromise comes in.
If there is an outside distraction, perhaps another guy giving you attention, you have to decide is this man gonna be with you when the newness wears off? Would it be worth wrecking your marriage for? Do you have kids? How is this going to affect them?
I don't know your situation and you didn't elaborate with many details, but I hope I gave you some things to think about.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to. :)
I have heard weighloss can cause problems in marriages, not only from my surgeons office but from doc I had to have my psych eval with as well.
I didn't really need to know that because I have had my own previous experiences with it already......
To make a long story short, you have to decide what is best for you and your situation.
You have to decide if you want to stay in your marraige and make it work.
Making it work is going to take some effort. You will have to compromise on some things, and possibly seek counseling. OR do you want to walk away and be done?
It all depends on how much you value your marriage.
For me, I have four kids and I really do have a good husband. I had to think of everyone involved and not just me, because that would be selfish. The grass is not always greener on the other side. My husband does love me for me, unconditionally with my imperfections and all.
We've had our share of ups and downs, as most marriages do.
We don't have alot of hobbies or outside activies in common. He's a home body, I'm outgoing, I like the outdoors, he doesn't. But thats where compromise comes in.
If there is an outside distraction, perhaps another guy giving you attention, you have to decide is this man gonna be with you when the newness wears off? Would it be worth wrecking your marriage for? Do you have kids? How is this going to affect them?
I don't know your situation and you didn't elaborate with many details, but I hope I gave you some things to think about.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you the way you want it to. :)
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