feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis.....HELP

I could really use some support and guidance from you experienced "losers".  I had rny about 7 months ago and have lost a good deal of my excess weight (still have a bit to go though).  I am really struggling with the should've could've would'ves.  I feel like I am going through puberty all over again.  I am 37 and have been married for 13 years.  My husband is a great guy but perhaps not the most exciting at times (geez, I feel bad even saying that).  Now that I have lost weight I want to have fun.  I recently went skydiving and am thinking of getting my solo cert.  as well.  Right now my wedding ring absolutely doesn't fit.  I am waiting until I get to my goal weight to have it sized.  I find that I am a bit obsessed with wanting to know how I am perceived by the opposite sex.  For whatever reason it is important for me to know if I am physically attractive now, perhaps because I felt so ugly before.  I would never do anything to jeapordize my marriage and I have a child to think of as well so I don't want to get too self-absorbed.  I was always the fat friend of the girls in college and the fat co-worker of my friends when we went to conferences. I SOOOOOO don't want to be that anymore.  How do I snap out of this and why is it so important to me?  HELP

I am only 2 months out, but I can tell the change in men attitudes towards me.  I have been in a longer term relationship for 7 years and still very attracted to him, but I like to have the feeling of others men find you attractive and interesting.

I was telling my boyfriend yesterday when I was at the gas station that the owner came out and pumped my gas for me (even though I had been going to this neighborhood gas station for years and this has never happen before).  I am naturally very curvey and look younger than what I am (38 years old), but the men are out in full force. 

I say enjoy the attention when it comes to you, but be careful and not seek it out because you might find yourself in a situation that you will regret.

I am glad that you are enjoying life and your weight loss.

Michelle,

I just want to say we all like attention from the opposite sex. But the one thing that I hang onto is that I am the same person now even after loosing 128 lbs that I was before my surgery. If they did not like me then why would I like them now. I have been married for 18 years and my hubby had the surgery 5 yrs ago. It got to him a little too. we are now trying to work through that. I love those people who love me for who I am not how I look. Just remember that your hubby loved you when you were not thin...and he still loves you because he loves what is inside not what's outside. The attention you are getting is not real in the sence that they don't know who you are just how you look. Keep life real. Keep yourself real. And love you for who you are not how you look.

Hi Angelique I could not say it better than that.
 
Hi Michelle
I am trying to get approval for the surgery. I have lost 40 lbs on my own and am getting looks. I like it. But I am single. I have to love me for me first before I can even get into a relationship. These things are going to happen your feelings are going to try and run because this is a freedom you have not experienced. There are feelings that you will experience that you may not had before because depression can suppress anything. You will feel alive and vibrant and want the one you are with to feel the same way but he has been calm and the same person from the moment you said I do. The only thing that's changed is you and your look on life because your feeling about yourself has changed. Just keep your feelings in check, enjoy your new found freedom but include him in your life celebration and don't forget he had to make sacrafices too when you had this surgery. We always make sacrafices for people we love. Take care, congrats and much success too you. Keep yourself focused and don't allow your feelings to overtake your life. Just because we have free will to do it doesn't always mean we have the right to do it.
Take care
Sandie 

Very well said!

Hi Michelle,

Maybe you can tell your hubby u would like to try new things together. Come up with a list or just do something spontaneous
he just might be craving the same change as you but, being married as long as u guys are thing seem to get stale and comfortable. No one plans it, life just happens. It's up to each of us to add the spark of excitement we all once shared. Get a sitter take him to yawl's favorite place & have a drink & your fav food and just talk. A 13 year marriage is worth maybe feeling uncomfortable throwing your wants & needs on the table . I wish you all the Best - Christy F.

Ps. Kudos on the skydiving!!!!