I am so tired, I need to vent....

I am scheduled to have my surgery in Aug. I am now starting to tell people about it. I am getting tired of people telling me that I don't need the WLS. I am like how can you tell me what I need or don't need, how can you tell me what is best for me. This is the people on my job, won't you try other ways of loosing weight. I feel like I don't have to justify my personal decissions for anybody. As long as my husband and family support me that is all that matter. But, when you have to hear this on your job it gets me frustrated and I ask myself why did I even tell these people. I told them because I have nothing to hide and I will be off of work for some weeks so I was just giving them a heads up. I regret saying anything now. Thanks for letting me vent Montego

Go ahead girl, vent all you want. That is exactly why I did not tell anyone (except one person) about my upcoming surgery. I do not need any comments from the peanut gallery. People are quick to tell you what you don't need, but they don't have the first clue what it is like to live inside your body. They don't know what it is like to be out of breath from climbing a flight of stairs or a small incline of a hill. They don't know what it is like to take a bunch of pills 2x/day,everyday. THey don't know what it is like to have people prejudge you just because you are fat. They don't know what it is like to have people make rude , and insenitive remarks about you or other overweight people in your presence. That is the problem that I am having with a friend of mine. For the longest time, she kept telling me that I should not have wls , that I would not look right, that she is going to pray for me that I won't need wls, or that I should drink some herbs and go on a vegetarian diet and walk. Now she has changed her insurance so that she can get wls. What a joke. I will not tell my supervisor the details of my absence. All she will know is that I am having a surgical proceedure done and that I will be out of the office for two months. I intend to deal with Human Resources exclusively. The bottom line...people generally do not have a clue about what is going on with you. Kim

Hi Montego, First off, Praises be to GOD and prayers going up, that you have an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery. I pray that the tool that you are given works out just for you and with the success that you have prayed for. Second, FORGET them. You are doing this for YOU and thats #1. You dont have to justify your decision to nobody but yourself. I am having trouble with my job and co-workers also. A lot of the people need this surgery way more than I do, and they have told me that I can't work with a weight restriction, and if that happens they are going to have to replace me. What the F*** does that mean? I can go have my surgery, but I can't come back to work here. I did not say a word, I just looked at my supervisor and said, Okay, cause this surgery is important to me and I may just not be working here anymore. Her eyes wanted to pop out of her head, with my response. I hear people talking and saying what my supervisor has been saying. I sit at a desk, and they can't fire me, because I pay $10 a payheck for a benefit that says, I can come back to work, for the same pay, and position after being out for any reason. Plus, it was authorized by them to take the time off for surgery. Sometimes I regret saying anything, but we can't take back what was said. I should have stuck with "I'm having my gallbladder removed, too". Stay Blessed and Be Encouraged........Nissah 360/313/???/180 12 days and counting.....

Thanks Nissah for the encouraging words. I will also pray that you have an uneventful surgery and a speedy revovery. You are having surgery on my birthday. My thought and prayers will be with you. Montego

Hi MoBay, I know exactly what your talking about! I haven't told any of my girlfriends because I don't want to hear what they have to say at this point, I know they mean well but there not in my shoes and so they can't really say what they would do. My family is really supportive, but my mom seems to be going back and forth with it lately. She called me the other day lol and said well the key to that surgery is eating right, right, and I said yes, and she said so the surgery doesn't make you lose weight, and I said yes it does, she then said well the key, key....lol is eating right and thats what your learning to do now, Impatient..I respectfully said yes, then she said well if thats the case why don't you just eat right......I wanted to hang up on mom! But I just tried to explain my feeling and that its not easy for me to lose weight, that it never had been and I think with me. Eating better doesn't really do it as far as losing...gaining YEAH eating bad helps... but I have to excersie constantly - to lose and I never lose large amounts, well a couple of times (working out everyday for 1hr 15 min cardio)I lost 30 but gained it back plus. I know this is about you, but I just was trying to explain that I understand what your going through, but just try to block it out because this is a life changing and personal decison. I don't think people say things to make you feel bad, but that they are concerned, and the biggest thing is they don't know much about the surgery and in some case being over weight.

My mom use to do the same thing to me but then she saw how my blood pressure is not going down no matter what I do. Also, she talked to a couple of friends about it and they all encouraged it, so that was like validation for her. Now she is a lot better with the idea of me having the surgery. I understand that this surgery is drastic and everybody does research on it before diving into it with blinders on. My thing is nobody knows what's best for us but us and everybody else just has to deal with it. Good luck with your Journey.... Montego