Anyone else feeling age discrimination?

It seems at all my appointments lately they don't think I'm a serious enough case. Some have made comments about my age (that I don't have serious medical issues yet because I'm too young - I've had hypertension since I was 19) and then I got snide comments yesterday about how I can wear jeans and I have a natural waist, so if it was up to her (the dietician) I wouldn't have surgery. Everyone is treating me like I'm ignorant and not ready for this. Just because other people my age think it is a quick fix and screwed it up doesn't mean I'M going too. I don't know if they know this (and are doing it intentionally) but everytime they make a nasty comment like that, it just makes me more and more determined to do this right. I am stubborn to a fault, and I will do whatever it takes to prove my point. I'm just sick of it all... I'm taking this step because I feel like I don't have any other choice, yet I'm being treated like garbage for it by people that are supposed to be sensitive. Bah, I'm so frustrated.

hey, i went through the same thing when i was in your stage of the process. i am only 18 imagine. dont listen to them you know you and you know your body and what you can handle. dont let them get you down. i had my surgery in december and am down about 60lbs. i am doing great. you show them whos boss! tiffany

Hey there. I just turned 25 last Sat. and had surgery Aug. 3, 2004. As long as YOU know that you have done everything possible to lose weight then don't give up! If you need a different dietician then go for it if that's what it takes. I was 23 when I had my surgery - I weighed 360+ pounds - I did have co-morbidities, but Lord, did they want me to have more and gain more weight before I had WLS?!?... that is what I am sure you are thinking now. Just don't give up. I am glad I had surgery then and not waited until I was in my 30's or 40's beacuse now, at the age of 25, I am living for the first time. I would've missed out on so much! One thing that is VITALLY important though, is that you have a PCP that is supportive. When all is said and done, your PCP will be following you for the rest of your life after you bariatric surgeon releases (if you can get to that point). If your PCP is supportve now, they can help you with support in your decision to have WLS. Hope this helps! ~ Monica www.WOCF.org P.S. - Go to www.obesityaction.org - it may prove to be helpful for you!

See, and I already have my date, and everyone has approved everything. They are just being jerks about how I shouldn't be approved because I guess in their eyes it isn't that bad yet. I'm 5'7", 265 lbs. I don't look it. I know I'm big, and you can tell I have a heavy frame, but I carry it pretty well. Most people are shocked that not only do I qualify for this surgery, but I'm having it. I know I'm pretty lucky to not look as bad as I COULD look, but the health risks are still there. I still have crazy joint pain, hypertension for 3+ years, and now pre-diabetes symptoms (my hands go numb and tingly all the freaking time). I just want to shout "If you don't think I should have surgery, why the hell are you helping me get it???" I know better though than to tick off the people who are responsible for my quality of life. I don't want my incisions spit on or something. lol

HEY GIRL don't let them get ya down. I just turned 25 on the 25th of Feb and had my surgery on the 16th of Nov 2005. I had some problems having them want to do the surgery also. but mine is because my Dr won't do the surgery if you want more children or havn't had them. since i am (really young) he said he wouldn't do it unless you can prove your not gonna have more kids. which wasn't hard for me i have it all DOcumented from when i had our son. i had a ton of problems (thank god i had him in an American hospital not some overseas base hospital) and he said okay and did my surgery. but like the rest say if you are approved already then who cares what they say and after you have surgery Switch to another DR and his staff should be more supportive if not keep going until you do. I noticed you are ABF are you having it done by Miltary or civilian DR's and hospital? good luck on your progress. hugs Nikki in NY for now. 329/230/? goal is 120by my ann.

Civilian, my base is pretty tiny, so they don't even have an actual "hospital," just a clinic.

I know it's the last thing that you want to hear, but could they be right. If several professionals have told you it might not be the right thing it may be true. It is not easy, and if you have not tried every other possible way to lose weight then it's not for you. I'm just being honest. It's not for everyone. Just sit back and look at their comments as professional opinions and not mean comments. Sorry if you take this the wrong way, but it's a life changing thing. Amy

Dear Karli, First of all, I would look into going somewhere else (if that's at all possible) for your WLS and pre-op tests/classes. You don't need all that negative 'support' from people who are supposed to help you with this journey! Second of all, Oh how I wish I had looked into WLS when I was younger/lighter! But for some reason, (And I believe in God ordaining things to happen at the best time, so I'm not sad about it) I waited until I was 364 pounds. If you know what you need to do to make this succeed (and it sounds like you do), and you also know that this is a life change, not at all a quick fix (The weight can and will come back if you let it!) Then you already are leaps and bounds ahead of some of the other people, both young and old, who go into WLS. So what if you still have a waist and can wear jeans! Yay for you! That means that you'll be in size 10's faster! How cool is that? That means that you'll have less saggy skin issues! That means that you'll have a better/faster/easier recovery from surgery! If you know this is right for you, try to find some support... a local support group maybe? And stick with them. There's power in numbers. Even if you do go to see that nasty nutritionist alone, you'll know that we are all with you, rooting for you. Plus, someday, when you feel up to it, you can go back and complain to that lady's supervisor, about how poor of a job she did! Grrr I am SO into standing up for myself now, it isn't even funny. Love to you, Amanda in Akron (Ohio)

Your last paragraph struck a major chord with me... That is part of why I'm having this surgery (and the nutritionist pointed this out as well) is to gain that self-esteem back. I let her say those nasty things to me and make me cry. I didn't talk back to her or stand up for myself, and that is WEIRD. I am the first one to jump up and defend an underdog, but I can't even stand up for myself anymore. It's like "Don't treat anyone else bad, just dump on me instead, because I'm worthless and deserve it." I wish my local support group would pick a different day to meet! I have college every Tuesday and Thursday night, and they meet Thursdays. Otherwise, I would so be there. And, FWIW, two of my coworkers have also had nasty experiences with this woman, and one of them sent in a complaint, since the dietician vioalted Privacy regs by telling me medical information about her. Seriously, I asked a question about a coworker (she and her daughter both had surgery) and the woman went off about what terrible pateints they were and how they don't follow directions and are anemic, and have been "flagged." I'm not going to switch offices because my surgeon is awesome and incredibly supportive. His staff is just kind of flakey. I'd rather have that than a sucky surgeon with good staff! :P

I can understand your reluctance to make waves right now, but I would tell your surgeon what his staff is doing after surgery. He may not know what they are doing. I would also tell the coworker about the info the staff gave you. They have a right to privacy and that was obviously violated. Tell your surgeon and if nothing changes, tell his boss and then keep going up to the appropiate authorities. You might also want to inform the hospital too. -Maria