Threaten by the PHAT girl

Has anyone been getting mixed messages from there friends?? I have I have always been the PHAT girl in the group and because I am seen first and I have a BIG personality to match I usually am the one able to get me and my gals free drinks at the bar I have always been so outgoing and out spoken but really just comfortable with my self and now because I am open about me having the surgery (really soon waiting for response) alot of my friends tell me I dont need it because I am always so confident and have no shame (or have I ????) makes you go hmmmmmmm well anyways I honestly think they are threaten that maybe just maybe I will then be noticed not as the outgoing down to earth PHAT girl but as sexy how dare I take there shine away or maybe they dont want me to lose weight because then who will hold everyone drinks and stuffed animals at the carnivals while everyone else goes on the rides (huh) oh well anyone wanna reply please do so please tell me I am not the only 1 out here with these issues

Hummmm....for the most part ALL of my friends and family have been very supportive in my decision to have WLS. But on the otherhand I don't have a date and am not very far into the process. I'm thinking that once this become more real for them and me they might try to change my mind. I do have one friend that keeps asking questions and trys to find a negative for every positive that I give her for having WLS. Kinda frustrating!! Maybe they are afaid that you will change or like you said get more attention than them when you are out. Or maybe they are scared that something is going to happen when you are in surgery. My bestfriend, Melanie, is very happy and supportive of me....but she has also told me that she is VERY scared about me having the WLS. Hope this helps! Kimmie

Almost everyone in my life has been supportive of my decision to have surgery with two exceptions. My birth mother doesn't agree with it. My half-sister lost a lot of weight with Weigh****chers, so she thinks I can too. Well, I guess she didn't notice that my sister gained her weight back! Ack! I had this surgery to avoid that AGAIN. My biggest problem is a friend who is also MO. After me losing 37 lbs, she said she could "finally see I had lost some weight in my arms". Puleese. I understand her issues though. She was initially interested in the Lap Band, but her insurance wouldn't cover it (she didn't think, never pursued it), and her family didn't support her doing the RNY. So, she's eating more than ever. You aren't alone. You'll do great, and your friends will adjust. Take care, Ashleigh

I think that with this surgery, it is very possible for the type of friendships we have to change. My friends before the surgery made me promise not to go out and become this crazy flirt after. They were kidding but the feelign behind it was there. I understood that they do not want me to make a drastic change and all I want to change is my body! LOL I think that you are deffinatly going to keep running into these problems as we all are unfortuantly. Good luck! Ellen

lemme tell u something, i dont care how supportive ur friends are, they are use to u being the fat one. the one with allthe personality that everyone loves being around. once u start becoming the fun, pretty THIN one, u become competition. girls dont like competition. ull see who ur true friends are after u lose some weight. little did these girls realize, u were probably a threat to them b4.

I've lost most of my friends and a boyfriend over my decision to have this surgery. The boyfriend liked me fat and tried to keep me that way. In fact, tried to make me more so. I'm not sure how much I gained while I was with him, but it was at least 30 pounds over about a year and a half. I broke up with him one month before my surgery date. But I've realized that I didn't really need these people. Overall, I'm better off. I'm lonely. But I know I'll make new friends. And if my old friends wanna get over their insecurities and apologize to me, I guess we'll see what happens. As of now, though, I'm focusing on getting healthier, looking better, and feeling better. And taking care of and loving the people that have stuck by me and supported me through this whole procedure.

I just wanna say thank you to everyone for your replies and helping come to terms with my currant situation FAT or no FAT they had a hard time keeping up with me anyway so I could only imagine what there gonna do now Thanks a bunch again Lata

GIRL, BE ENCOURAGED AND KNOW THAT WHEN U HAVE THIS SURGERY, YOU WILL LOSE A LOT OF POSERS. (THOSE THAT R UR FRIEND B/C U MAKE THEM THEM FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT THEMSELVES. ) TRUST, I GOT THOSE SAME ISSUES GIRL. MY OWN FAMILY SAYS THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL CHANGE ONCE I GET THE SURGERY. TALK ABOUT SUPPORRT, OR LACK THEREOF. HOLD UR HEAD UP, AND DO YOUR THING. YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WILL STICK BY YOU REGARDLESS. GOD BLESS, EBONY