I regret getting so big

Lately I've been having surgery regrets. Part of me wishes I could turn back to food. But then I got into more thinking, and my biggest regret is getting so big in the first place. I constantly gained from the age of 6. I was 100lbs by 1st grade, and 200lbs by 6th grade, probably 320lbs by 9th grade. I wish I didn't have to worry about what I ate. I wish I had a fast metabolism so I could eat anything I wanted. I wish I didn't have binge eating disorder. I wish my parents limited me a lot more as a child, I wish they never bought junk. I wish they didn't introduce chips into my diet when I was around 10. I wish I would've at least maintained my weight more as a child so I could grow into it. I'm only 20, I wish I didn't go through all of this so young. I'm just struggling.