I REFUSE to Celebrate
RNY on 11/01/12
I have hit a standstill in losing my pre-op weight. I have 36 pounds to go and 28 days to do it in...WTF! Well, as long as I lose at least 25 I should be good. But still I have been at 302 for 4 days. Before that I kept losing 2 pounds a day on my diet and exercise. So now, I literally refuse. I refuse to celebrate any holidays, I refuse to buy myself anything, I refuse to eat anything I like. I am literally on a strike out against my body. If my body doesn't want to comply I'm just going to starve it until it does. It's time for my body to be on time out. LOL Sounds extreme, but that's how I feel. I went to buy bras and under wear this past weekend and WOW. I have no F*****G idea how in a year and a half I went from a 36 C to a DAMN 44 DD...how the F***K does that happen? I have stretch marks everywhere, I am all pale, my feet and ankles are fat and puffy, my stomach hangs down as if I just had a kid, I have lonjas (rolls in spanish slang) on my back, and my ass (which I usually love) is getting a nasty weird shape as it gets bigger. I literally HATE myself. I know its probably not good to say that but I am so disgusted with myself that I want to throw up. I need this 36 pounds gone. Any help?
Hey ! The pre-op part for me was the most difficult part of this whole process. It's hard to not do something drastic and crash diet like to get the wait off, but just keep doing what you're doing. Your body doesn't like what's going on with it and is trying to hold onto everything you give it. Idk what your pre-op diet is but mine was 2 protein shakes a day and a salad with some lean protein on it for one meal. And tons of water. I felt terrible while my body was literally detoxing from all the crap I put into it, but by the 2nd week of it I was much more energetic and just walked a ton. 36lbs in a month is kinda hard to do, but just stick with it and keep going! Things get easier. And by this time next year you'll be a tiny little thing! :)
RNY on 11/01/12