The rant of a pre-op

So... I'm still in my pre-op phase and I've made the decision to tell people about my surgery. The majority of the people I've told are extremely happy for me and supportive of me.  


 [Begin rant]

one of the MAIN issues I have this one woman in particular in my class (who is also obese) is giving me serious issues about it and I dont know the nice way of telling her to leave me alone. 

Since I have to lose 40lbs prior to my surgery to reduce risks and avoid a filter being put into my vena cava... I've been dieting and working out.  Low fat, low carb, high protein and I'm working out an hour a day at my bootcamp. This woman in my class keeps going .. "well, since you're working out and eating the right way now, maybe you wont even need the surgery"  And this is after I've explained to her that I've been overweight all my life, been on diets and everything since I was 8 years old, and Its not like I only need to loose 50-60 lbs.  I need to loose like... 180lbs. 

So yesterday she was giving me lip about how it didn't look like I was eating enough food and that I really shouldnt have the surgery because she's been walking around her block to lose weight and how I should start doing that instead of having a life changing surgery. Then she took another bite out of her double bacon cheeseburger from burger king ( i wish i was kidding).

Then today, as I'm drinking my protein shake ... she's like.. wow katie.. doing the liquid diet already?  and I was like no... I'm just upping my protein so I'm doing 2 protein shakes a day instead of the one I've been doing.  

And then she proceeded to eat an entire package of twizzlers. 

My biggest issue is this: Do NOT preach to me... when I'm trying to make the efforts to radically change my life because I'M not happy with my weight... while you're walking and eating crap.

I dont like being preached to in general, and shes one of those people whose always like "Well, I'm a lot older than you, SO i know better/more/things (insert whatever here)"  .  Fine yes,  She's got 16 years on me, but she didnt live 22 years of MY life as a morbidly obese unhappy girl.

[End Rant]


Did any of you have these issues pre-op?  How did you handle them?

I'll take any advice now because I'm one more comment away from biting her head off and being really nasty... but I really just dont want to hear it anymore.

Is she in your bootcamp?  Or just a class?  Is there no way to avoid her completely because the camp/class is small? 

 not so much advice but it sounds like she's just jealous you are taking control of things and doing something about it. maybe just say something like, well i'm doing this regardless of what you think and i'd appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself. or if you feel like being a ***** point out her habits

She's in my class at school..  6 hours a day.  Theres unfortunately no way to really avoid her which sucks.

Sometimes I really do think its a jealousy thing... but don't **** on my parade just because you're still fat and doing nothing about it. 

I probably sound like a huge ***** right now, but she just ****** me off.

Katie you are a riot! hahaha.  Tell the lady just what you said.  Don't **** on my parade. 

Hey there!

     I too am in the pre- op phase and I DEFINITELY hear ya! Try going to the doctors office and tell them you are considering the surgery and the nurse saying " omy your too younger for that, have you tried weigh****chers? " Um yes ma'am, I tried weigh****chers 3 times and I've done jenny Craig and Atkins in it total I have lost about 240 pounds in my life and here I am.... still fat!"  and her reply about how she knows someone who has been in and out of the hospital because of it.... blah blah

It can be very frustrating at time when you tell people that you are going to do this and they look at you like you don't know what your doing and tell  you that you should just diet and exercises when you have been your whole life.  

Obviously we all know this surgery isn't a quick fix and for must of it has been a last resort. But I know for me, having DONE my research and  knowing all the possible complications and sacrifices I might face, it is worth it for me.

Only you know what you have gone through so don't let this girl get to you. It does indeed sound like she is jealous and wants you to just fail along like she has.... if she new everything... then why is she over weight...you know!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck,
Samantha

One of the things my psychologist explained to me was that when you are overweight, all the overweight people in your life around you don't have to feel so bad about themseleves because you are overweight together.  But now that you are making a change and soon won't be overweight, it makes them insecure and they can't find comfort in the fact that you are overweight too.  This is why people around you (even sometimes family) will sabotage you, criticize you, etc...they want you to stay fat like them!  You are doing what you need to for your own health, don't let anyone distract from that goal.  She's just jealous and insecure that you'll soon be thinner than her.

Ever heard the saying, "Misery loves company."? That's what this sounds like.

People are rude. They only care about themselves. Let people talk...you have probably been talked about your entire life anyway (I don't mean this to offend.) The next time she does this you should just tell her you weren't looking for advice in the first place, and you definitely don't take advice from people who are in the same boat as you are. Then, if you can, get up and move seats...across the class from her. This should hopefully give her the clue that her approval is not needed.

I usually just read and don't reply, but this has been such a big issue in my life too. It's very true that the heavy people around you, unless they love you, are going to feel threatened that you are leaving that group. Even the skinny people around can sometimes voice that they feel like you're lazy and making a bad choice. I got both, one from a skinny girl I worked with who kept telling me to exercise more and lay off the chips and candy, the other from a good friend who was overweight who kept saying I was taking the easy way out. In the end, you have to listen to yourself and your doctors. I know that I would have never been able to lose the amount of weight I needed to on my own. The best advice I can give is to calmly explain that this is the best way for you to lose the weight you need to, but it's not right for everyone. You have to understand that some people will hold it against you but you can't let them weigh you down:)