Almost 2 years out and now i'm afraid

almost 2 years out, down 110lbs and have maintained at around 135-140lbs for the last year.

now i've met the man of my dreams and he has no idea about my surgery, and quite frankly i don't want to tell him or have him find out....but the little scars on my stomach are still such evidence and the slight stretch marks i've worked so hard to make go away.

I live 1000 miles from home and i fear my family will slip up when we visit and say something. I'm proud of the way i look now but am still embarassed of the way i had to go about losing the weight....has anyone else had to deal with this? it's eating me up inside.

Hey, congrats on your very great loss and ability to keep it off..that's tough, I know because I'm there too.  Congrats too on meeting someone you obviously are very fond of. 

My first thought is, if he is the man of your dreams and you are the woman of his dreams, your surgery is not really going to mean really anything in the grand scheme of life. If he's really that great, he shouldn't care about what you had to do in your past to get to where you are now. I would be upfront and direct about it all next time you talk.   Also, it's apparent that you don't regret your surgery but feeling embarrassed about getting it is a form of regret....would you want to go back before 2 years ago?  I'm guessing no. 

I'm not saying people have to shout the fact of surgery from the roof tops but I always hope that people aren't ashamed of the fact they had surgery.  I think it's wonderful you did something so great for yourself to be healthy for your future.  Something shameful would have been if you would have done nothing and let yourself live your life with all sorts of health problems.  You gave yourself a new chance and you shouldn't have to apologize to anyone for that. 

good luck with your new relationship, I think it's all going to be just fine.  :-) 

~Emily~ 

first of all congrats!! for mantaing your weight loss.! good for you!

I think if you really like this guy and you want him in your life he needs to know, this is a important part of who you were and who you are as a person. If he really cares about you he would be proud of you and support you.
I also belive that the way you tell him about your surgery is gonna matter a lot. you need to make it look like it was a great decision and that you dont regreat it! that you are more confident and because of that you can be a better person for you and have more to offer to the relationship. 
I bet it doesnt even gonna matter to him " if he cares" and if he does girl, he is def not the one you need someone who appreciates to have such a woman by his side. so just move on till the right one comes.
you'll be fine, and there is nothing to be embarrased about WLS is such a blessing to had the oportunity to had it, so be proud! you are inspiring and he needs to know that!

good luck! and keep us posted

hugs!

 Emily and Mariana are right - the man of your dreams shouldn't care about that stuff. I would just make sure you're the one to tell him. While you have every right to keep it private, he may not see it that way if he learns about it from your family.

Congratulations on your weight loss and being able to keep it off!

If this really is the man of your dreams, do you really think you would be able to keep it a secret forever?!?!?  Not only could a family member or a friend slip, but think of all the medical issues that could pop up throughout your life!   How would you explain having to take all the vitamins, or additional OBGYN care if you get pregnant?!?

What about pictures of you from back then that he might see, and then when the question comes, "How did you lose all that weight?" you either have to tell him or lie!  The longer you wait, the better chance he might get upset that you hid it!  You don't want to drop this on him, like you didn't trust him months or years from now!  Besides, if he's really the one it won't matter to him!

I recently struggled with the same thing!  I have a few family members that have also had surgery and figured he'd find out so I'd rather tell him myself. I just explained that I made a decision of better health and wellness and he tries to remind me every day he loves me just the way I am.  You won't regret your decision!