Off Topic-ish: How to meet people

 I've never even been on a date.  That keeps really weighing on me.  And not only that so much, but there are so many things that I want to do and have a companion to do it with.  I'd like to think I'm a cool girl with lots of interesting hobbies.  But I just can't seem to meet anyone.  After being unsuccessful in attracting any man ever, I guess I am a little insecure.  I'm not sure if this comes through in my interactions with men.  A lot of times I feel like I don't allow myself to be quite so friendly because if they should not be interested in me, then I will at least have some "power."  I just don't know how to be "out there."  I'm really good at being friends, but I always end up being the friend or the "nice" girl and nothing more.  That is so frustrating!  Is there anything else I can do, or c'est la vie?  Like I say, I wish I could be out there a little more, but I also have this fear of being a fool.  Some good old insecurity talking.  I just don't understand how I can be nearly 23 and never even been asked for my number...by anyone! 

 hi bonnie. We have had this convo before. 
This has nothing to do with your weight problem girl. there is lot of girls who weight twice as you than have hot dates and hot boyfriends. so stop thinking that your weight is the one who is taking you away from dating.

i know we fat n exfat girls hide behind our weight. this is kinda of a "confort zone" i dont date, I dont have lots of friends  or i'm not sucesfull cuz of my weight!. EHHH. not true!!!! just excuses! i'm saying this cuz i used to be like that n i still a lil bit.

i know its hard, when i was over weight n boys came to me i was like do you want me to introduce you to my friends.? lol ..... why would he wanna come all the way over and talk to me?, no w i still feel like that sometimes, then i say to myself....what's wrong with me?? I'm beautiful and ******g Hot so i relax n i'm cool about it. n it works!  actually now i'm the one who gives fake numbers or dont answer the texts n phone lol....so relax.

you need to change your way of thinking you are beutiful young woman and any guy would be lucky to have you!!!!!!!!!1 i'm serious!...don't be to hard on urself!  enjoy the new you!  just go out and  have fun! n dont fucus on boys! they will come!!!



((((huuuuggggsss))))))))

 Naw, I know.

But I seriously don't know where to meet people now anyway.  I'm going to try and be cooler when/if a guy approaches me, but I am being totally lame and not going out anywhere.  And now with surgery, I don't even know how or where to go out.  A lot of my friends are getting married and don't want to go out, at least not to any place singles are :(  So I honestly don't even know how to be among people

I know, its kinda hard to meet new people. I'm sure your friends who are getting married can set you up with some of their friends.  

Go out clubing. n when some of you girls ask you go out to have drinks or something dont say no! you have be out there! let know ur friends you wanna date... lol. i'm sure they would be more than one intersted.

you can meet people everywhere!  u still going to school be more open change study groups idk.

I know this might sound lame but BE YOURSELF!!! All you have to do is be open and talkative to people. It is a lot easier to carry on a conversation with a complete stranger than you think. I met my current bf at work ( I don't recommend this for everyone though). He came up to my floor (I work in a hospital) and he was taking one of my patients to a test and she was in the bathroom so we just started talking about movies and he asked me out. That simple, yes I was nervous to talk to him but I just talked about what I was interested in and he seemed to like me and we have been together for just over a year now. You are a beautiful girl, so get out there and show the world who you are! Good luck

Not sure if this helps but my advice would be to practice being more open. (smile more, make small talk with strangers) If it makes it easier practice with 'non threatening' people-older people, girls etc- not just potential dates-might help take the pressure off you.

Smile and say hi to the cashier when you get your groceries-make eye contact with people. Work at it every day with anyone you come across and it gets easier. Once you open up more-people will respond back.

Does that help any?

Valerie

 That really helps!  I will definitely do that.

I guess I'm just in transition and I'm at a place where i need to start making new friends again anyway.  But I am moving to a new state in 2 months so I guess I'm going to have to get used to meeting new people!  

hey,
I know exactly how you feel. When I go out I try to exude confidence, but it doesn't always work out. I always feel like the fat chick, all my friends are like a size zero and pretty.I know that it's frustrating when your friends are getting married or celebrating their like three year anniversary. I get it, I've been there, hell I'm still there. I would suggest going to a bar with one or two friends, and sit at the bar. Just start talking to the people coming up to order their drinks. Sports and movies are always easy and safe topics to talk about. It might be challenging at first but it will get easier. Good luck

smiling at people seems to help...but im always too scared to look at someone and be that bold....lol  half the time id meet guys when i am intoxicated and i always seem to have so many friends when im drunk...LOL maybe joining a support group in your area or meet some studs at the gym.... dating websites rock. i met my honey over two years ago on match . com good luck!! :)

I have to second the above comment about weight not being the issue for being lonely.  Since I graduated High school my weight has ranged from 220-300lbs and I have never been single unless I wanted to be.  In fact at 270 lbs I was dating an underwear model.  It's all about putting yourself out there and being yourself which can be really hard to do when you are fearful of people judging you by your appearance.
As far as making new friends goes I remember when I moved here, I was so nervous about making friends then I felt as if I was actually asking girls who I wanted to be friends with out on dates.  It felt really awkward. Most of the friends I have made here started out as gym buddies.  I joined a gym with alot of group classes.  I met a ton of people and being in a class after a while you get to know people.  The group becomes accountable to one another, you start to discuss your lives, then the transistion from doing yoga together to asking someone if they want to meet at a local trail to go for a hike isn't so akward.
I wish you the best of luck-I have so totally been there.