Body image and what you'll look like afterward surgery
This mostly applies to ppl who have been heavy their entire life. Did any of you fret and worry about what you'll look like after surgery? Not just even loose skin really, like, what your face will look like? I'm still pre-op obviously and have recently decided to do the gastric bypass, and sometimes worry what I'll look like. I've never been skinny so I'm worried I won't like it....
Anyone else ever felt like this?
Anyone else ever felt like this?
I didn't worry about this, because I was so unhappy with what I looked like before surgery. I've never really seen anyone in our age group that has been unhappy with their appearance after surgery in terms of what they look like, other then the occasional loose skin issues though.
I think there is some relevance in the whole idea of looking "different" though - the whole idea of looking better, but not looking like yourself, at least what others think you look like. In my mind, I don't really see that I look that much different, so it bothers me a little bit when I get the exclaimation that I "look so much better". It's kind of hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that everyone considered me so much worse before. I just take their word for it, and I don't let it bother me much, as in general they consider it to be a compliment. so, I guess I feel like I look pretty much the same, but everyone else thinks I look different.
I think there is some relevance in the whole idea of looking "different" though - the whole idea of looking better, but not looking like yourself, at least what others think you look like. In my mind, I don't really see that I look that much different, so it bothers me a little bit when I get the exclaimation that I "look so much better". It's kind of hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that everyone considered me so much worse before. I just take their word for it, and I don't let it bother me much, as in general they consider it to be a compliment. so, I guess I feel like I look pretty much the same, but everyone else thinks I look different.
Believe me, you'll enjoy being at a normal weight a million times more than being overweight. I always felt uncomfortable no matter what and now I feel, honestly, like a normal person for the first time in my life and it's wonderful.
It does take time to get use to your new self. If you are really concerned and it's preoccupying your thoughts, maybe a trip to the psychologist would help. They can help put so many things into perspective.
Good luck!
~Emily~
It does take time to get use to your new self. If you are really concerned and it's preoccupying your thoughts, maybe a trip to the psychologist would help. They can help put so many things into perspective.
Good luck!
~Emily~
"Tis better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not"
i was heavy my whole life, n i was soo excited to see how i would look!. n i can say that now it feels more like me. idk if this makes sense but now i feel that other people see my face n body how i saw myself, it feels like me now. and before it didnt.
people say i look completly diferente n people say i look the same, that they dont even rememberme fat..
i have some pic of face n stuff on my before and after album if you wanna lurk.
no matter what you willl feel more confortable, you wont feel like you are the "thing" is hard sometimes i still have self image issues but anyways way better now.
good luck!
hugs
people say i look completly diferente n people say i look the same, that they dont even rememberme fat..
i have some pic of face n stuff on my before and after album if you wanna lurk.
no matter what you willl feel more confortable, you wont feel like you are the "thing" is hard sometimes i still have self image issues but anyways way better now.
good luck!
hugs
I'm pre-op also.
I don't know that I'm worried about how I'll look to myself, and actually I even think it will be a very positive change for both myself and the people around me. The fear I have is whether my life will change in the ways that I had dreamed it would. In many ways it will. I mean, I'll be able to buy more "normal" clothes, get to actually shop (yay!).
You mentioned loose skin, and that is a fear of mine. I have seen several post-ops vlogs and noticed how upsetting loose skin can be to them. I hope that if I do have loose skin, some day I might be able to have plastic surgery. But I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it.
I think it is important to separate self-esteem & body image from actual physical appearance. I am much more concerned about my body image & self esteem. Sadly, that is not something WLS can fix, at least not on its own. After years of being judged because of my size, not fitting into all the clothes I wanted, I've learned to be my biggest critic. Watching home videos of myself is painful, and god help the person who takes a photo of me without me without my knowledge! I squirm in my clothes, always wondering if any spare piece of flab has been left uncovered. It's miserable! I have learned to nag myself. As cliche as it sounds, I think we all have to learn to give ourselves a break. Easier said than done.
Hope that another pre-ops perspective helps. I think what we are choosing to do for ourselves is a very positive first step. We are on our way!
I don't know that I'm worried about how I'll look to myself, and actually I even think it will be a very positive change for both myself and the people around me. The fear I have is whether my life will change in the ways that I had dreamed it would. In many ways it will. I mean, I'll be able to buy more "normal" clothes, get to actually shop (yay!).
You mentioned loose skin, and that is a fear of mine. I have seen several post-ops vlogs and noticed how upsetting loose skin can be to them. I hope that if I do have loose skin, some day I might be able to have plastic surgery. But I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it.
I think it is important to separate self-esteem & body image from actual physical appearance. I am much more concerned about my body image & self esteem. Sadly, that is not something WLS can fix, at least not on its own. After years of being judged because of my size, not fitting into all the clothes I wanted, I've learned to be my biggest critic. Watching home videos of myself is painful, and god help the person who takes a photo of me without me without my knowledge! I squirm in my clothes, always wondering if any spare piece of flab has been left uncovered. It's miserable! I have learned to nag myself. As cliche as it sounds, I think we all have to learn to give ourselves a break. Easier said than done.
Hope that another pre-ops perspective helps. I think what we are choosing to do for ourselves is a very positive first step. We are on our way!
I don't worry about it I can't wait! I have my 10 year high school reunion next year and I am hoping that people don't recognize me!!! : )
I do worry slightly about the excess skin but I think the one thing on our side as 20 somethings and the elaticity of our skin is better than our older counterparts. My mom had RNY in her 50s and her excess skin was bad at first but it does get better.
I do worry slightly about the excess skin but I think the one thing on our side as 20 somethings and the elaticity of our skin is better than our older counterparts. My mom had RNY in her 50s and her excess skin was bad at first but it does get better.
I worry that my face will be different. I know it sounds crazy, but my face is actually one of the only things im "ok" with. To change that is... scary. But I am working past that fear. Im not too worried about loose skin, because c'mon - anything is better than these GIANT fat rolls. I will gladly take a few skin rolls in place of these. Plus, over the years I have became an expert on "hiding" my body, so Im not worried about them.
im glad your thinking about this. i NEVER thought or worried about this before surgery and now find myself in this pseudo identity crisis. ive never been skinny my whole entire life. and i finally after being a year out saw a psychologist recently.
make sure you talk about your worries and fears with somebody pre-op.
ive been realizing more and more lately i did not THINK enough before i jumped into rny. the process took less then 2 months and BAM.
i do not regret it, but things im having problems sorting out now, could have been prevented if i thought things thru before hand.
i just thought id figure it out along the way, which you do, but on the other hand contemplation of differant aspects i think would have helped more.
i dont know if this makes sense to anybody but me, but yeah good luck!
xoxoo
am
make sure you talk about your worries and fears with somebody pre-op.
ive been realizing more and more lately i did not THINK enough before i jumped into rny. the process took less then 2 months and BAM.
i do not regret it, but things im having problems sorting out now, could have been prevented if i thought things thru before hand.
i just thought id figure it out along the way, which you do, but on the other hand contemplation of differant aspects i think would have helped more.
i dont know if this makes sense to anybody but me, but yeah good luck!
xoxoo
am
But you don’t
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart
~jack johnson~
From the perspective of a post op.... I did have the worries that I would look different post op since I had been fat for pretty much my entire life, age 8-26, and I wasn't really worried about the extra skin.
I will tell you this though, When I show people pictures of me from the day of my surgury just 13 months ago they can't believe its me. To me I look at those pictures and am disgusted that I ever let myself get up to 426lbs. Now that I'm pretty much at a normal weight of 210 I will stay that way. I don't give a damn what I have to do, I will never get above 225 ever again. I was given a second chance in life to actually enjoy life and I will. I have learned self control and how to say NO at the office when all these normal and old people bring in sweets and highly fatty foods. I often end up either not going out to lunch with the guys or going and not eating because they are eating something very unhealthy. Even though I may be at a normal weight now, I am not normal, I still have a food addiction I just remind myself daily to never be that fat again. What I do is have a picture of me on the inside of the cabinet at my desk that I have to go in multiple times a day. Every time I open the door I see it and am reminded never again.
Yeah the extra skin sucks but who cares. I'm going to see a doctor to see if there is anything that can be done about it without surgery. I have heard from other wls guys that it does tone up quite a bit between year 1 and 2 post op, just keep being very hydrated. I went from getting the disgusted look from girls to girls actually turning their head to look at me in a good way (my wife doesn't like that a ton but eh whatever they can look all they want at what they can't have). I also went from a size 48 pants being tight to a size 34 being loose, and from a 4xl shirt to a XL shirt. How can I complain about that?
I will tell you this though, When I show people pictures of me from the day of my surgury just 13 months ago they can't believe its me. To me I look at those pictures and am disgusted that I ever let myself get up to 426lbs. Now that I'm pretty much at a normal weight of 210 I will stay that way. I don't give a damn what I have to do, I will never get above 225 ever again. I was given a second chance in life to actually enjoy life and I will. I have learned self control and how to say NO at the office when all these normal and old people bring in sweets and highly fatty foods. I often end up either not going out to lunch with the guys or going and not eating because they are eating something very unhealthy. Even though I may be at a normal weight now, I am not normal, I still have a food addiction I just remind myself daily to never be that fat again. What I do is have a picture of me on the inside of the cabinet at my desk that I have to go in multiple times a day. Every time I open the door I see it and am reminded never again.
Yeah the extra skin sucks but who cares. I'm going to see a doctor to see if there is anything that can be done about it without surgery. I have heard from other wls guys that it does tone up quite a bit between year 1 and 2 post op, just keep being very hydrated. I went from getting the disgusted look from girls to girls actually turning their head to look at me in a good way (my wife doesn't like that a ton but eh whatever they can look all they want at what they can't have). I also went from a size 48 pants being tight to a size 34 being loose, and from a 4xl shirt to a XL shirt. How can I complain about that?
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