Dealing with food obsession

"disclaimer:"  The surgeon's office has not called me back about more preliminary tests so I don't know what to do but sit and think about the unknown.  This is me doing just that.  Forgive me!

I would say that I'm addicted to food.  Not so much eating, even.  Eating is only a part of the process, a symptom of the bigger issue.  

I live for food.  Whatever else I'm doing I'm thinking about checking my latest food magazines, favorite food blogs, and websites.  I rush home and menu plan for hours on end.  I scour grocery ads and clip coupons.  I will spend hours at the grocery store, farmer's market, or specialty stores looking for new items and picking up everything on my list.  Then the cooking begins, usually with 
Food Network playing in the background.  I then grab my camera and "plate" the food and photograph it.  Only then does the eating take place.

Of course thinking about food so much does make me hungry, and I must say I cook some delicious meals, which I eat.

My life revolves around food.  I have a love/hate relationship with this.  On the one hand I'd love to rid myself of this ever-present obsession with food.  I have considered trying OA meetings to help me with this obsession.  But I can't imagine a different life.  From where I am right now (totally consumed with food), life without it seems bland, sad, and unhappy.

Just to be clear, I am not suggesting anything would change with surgery.  In fact, I'm concerned that it would not, and that's why I'm trying to get into the psychological aspects of my eating habits.  I was wondering if anyone has tried OA with any success, or if there is anyone else like me, before and/or after surgery.  I understand that eventually I will be able to return to somewhat normal but lighter eating following WLS.  That is part of my fear.  So, I suppose to some extent these are separate issues.

I did OA for awhile - turns out I was Constitutionally Incapable (TM) of sticking to the diet. The sponsor thing is kind of neat, but they're only helping you because they think it will help them. In my case, my sponsor dumped me the first time I screwed up, as I was impeding her recovery. You may have more luck then I did, but for me it's way too much thought and effort to spend 1/2 hour talking to a sponsor everyday, 10-15 minutes talking to another member before you eat, and worse of all being required to attend 3 hours of meetings per week. That's over 10 hours/week of time that, for me, was better spent elsewhere. 

how's the part time job search working out? It seems like that would curb all the time spent obsessing about food, as well as potentially helping cover the surgery if you decide to get it. Also, you were talking about having issues socially - a customer service type job can help immensely with that. A sales job can help big time too. I've actually done a lot of sales type work - 90% of it may be selling the item, but the other 10% is selling yourself as the one they want to be putting them in that new car today/buying the higher dollar perfume/whatever. Just fake confidence until you start realizing it.

I think, despite what everyone says, that surgery does indirectly have an effect psychologically. You would spend probably 2-3 weeks eating almost nothing, then you're going to spend another 2-3 weeks eating three or four different foods that aren't that great. After that you'll get a little more freedom, but most of the food you probably like won't go down. You'll throw it up, or it will be so miserable going down you'll probably hold off for awhile. So you're talking months of eating really crappy food - which for me, pretty much broke the food obsession thing. Why spend hours planning meals if you can only eat two bites? To this day, eating is kind of a pain. Things that go down easily one day make you sick the next. I have dumping syndrome that isn't really predictable, etc. I really don't enjoy eating much anymore in the sense of it evoking any pleasure. It's just something I have to do - it's cool if it tastes good, but I'll be damned if I'm going to eat too much because it's pretty much miserable when I do. The addiction goes away partially with time because of this, I think. Some of it remains, which I guess is what everyone is referring to, but it's pretty manageable.

It kind of sounds like I'm pushing you a certain way, but really just do the best you can. I would just try to fill your life with other meaningful things besides food and it might be easier.

 As a relative new post-op, one of the things I have found is that I spend more, not less time worrying about food and planning what I am going to eat, even if the amount is really small.  Finding a variety of foods that are healthy, protein rich and will not make me sick is a real challenge and I have found myself reading lots of websites (like eggface's blog) and other wls related sites.  I know you are really worried about getting the surgery, but perhaps as you go through the psych eval process and whatnot, it will help to channel your food obsession.

On the other hand, I am not one of those people who was addicted to food.  For me, my biggest concern was my weakness for eating out and the social aspect of eating.  Actually, I've gotten pretty good at making that work (whi*****ludes meeting friends for a lot of coffee).  

I might not be far enough out to really see the psychological stuff yet, and I've lost enough weight that any food sacrifice I've had to make is totally worth it in my book.  

Good Luck with this process which I know can be quite harrowing!

-Gillian

 I think we might be the same person, seriously.  I do the same thing.  I love food, I love cooking, I love the aesthetic aspect of food, cooking for large groups, the feeling I get feeding others and myself good, nutritious food...and sometimes not so good.  I subscribe to the food mags, watch Food Network (though not so much anymore), look forward to the new weekly grocery ad, making lists of what's lacking in my pantry and the ultimate bliss of going grocery shopping.   I probably have it worse than some because I'm in control of the food for my household and feeding two other people.  

I am not so much addicted to food per say, I turn to food/cooking/planning/what have you, to comfort me because it always has.  Is this a bad thing?  Not necessarily.  People do the same thing with other, healthy hobbies ~ reading, crafts, sports, etc.   It's healthy to enjoy cooking and appreciate cooking and the beauty of food..I've said before, it's an art.  It's only when you let something control you is when there is a problem.  Do all of those things above control me?  I won't lie to you, sometimes they do.  

I also won't lie when I tell you that I have an eating disorder and which I seek professional help for.  I must stress though that food is NOT to blame.  Food is the "drug" I use to deal with my anxiety and stress issues.  It is no different than someone who uses drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, sex or anything else to deal with those feelings.  

I guess my long-winded point is that there is a difference between me making a kick-butt quinoa risotto with fresh mushrooms, measuring out my portion and enjoying ever last bite with the people I love than making a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies because I'm bored and ending up secretively sneaking into my kitchen so no one sees me and eating about 10 through out the day, feeling guilty, trapped and ashamed.  

Talk to me anytime....I really do understand.  

~Emily~ 

hey girl. i think is great you like cooking and grosery shoping! ur gonna enjoy so much ur new life style, you gonna  come up with some new stuff! to cook, n ur gonna start to read all the nutrition fact on products.  ur gonna have a blast!!!!!. U r gonna be obsesses to the right kind of food now, u just gonna have to adjust. n its easy than u think
so relax n good luck!
hugs.

Things are pretty much the same post-op.. especially the first 6 months... you are given specific guidelines of what to eat.. you have to track your protein and all that good stuff.. you have to look at all the labels at the store and make sure they fit your guidelines. Going out to eat? You have to research before you go and see whats on the menu, whats in it.... is there something you can eat? Many surgeons/nutritionists want you to food log... so really the obession stays. What you eat and how you eat it will change until you reach your goal, then you will have to learn how to maintain. It was a good 2 years for me to finally figure it all out, however I still have to make changes as I learn more about my body.
Life basically will still revolve around food, its just a matter of changing the relationship. I had to learn that food is fuel, not my friend. I look at receipies and plan meals pretty much everyday... I love food network and eating out at new resturants... I just make healthier choices now and stick to my 'eating plan'. It takes a while to get where you are 'comfortable' with food. I personally dont track or count any more, I stopped that long ago because I basically know in my head where i am at.
I will say that the surgery helped with my hunger, it helped with that voice in my head that would obesess about a certain food until I ate it... that is really what allowed me to change my relationship with food. At almost 4 years out I experience mild hunger, that voice sometimes pops up but it is just a whisper and I know how to get it to quiet down now. I love cooking and food but now I know how to enjoy it... before I ate until I was stuffed trying to fill a void, now I eat until I am satisifed.