Telling People

At what point did you start telling family/friends that you were considering surgery?  So far, the only person that knows is my husband.  I have a BIG family...and for the most part they are supportive of things in general.  But I'm a little nervous that they're going to really question why I'm doing this.  The charts say I'm obese (I'm 5'2", 221) but I think I carry myself well. 

 Like you, I discussed it with my husband first and have a big family between mine and my husbands.  I had mentioned going to the surgeon for a consult and my family (parents and sisters) were concerned and even questioning but were supportive.  When I made the decision to actually have surgery, I waited about a month to tell my family.  Again, fear, concern but all in all they were supportive.  My mom took it the hardest but now she's the biggest supporter of WLS in general because she sees how much it's helped me.  

As far as extended family, like my in-laws and their family, I told my in-laws and they were great from the beginning (they are all in the medical field in one way or another, so they understand better how it all works so we didn't have the fear of the unknown so much).  I was a little hesitant for them to tell other people like his aunts and uncles but my MIL did anyway...lol...but it was ok.  One of my husbands aunts sent me a card right before surgery about how they were proud of me and were praying for me.  It was great.  Now I feel comfortable telling anyone who asks...and they will!  They will want to know how you lost weight, what you are doing, etc.  Like I said, I don't mind because surgery is a part of me but you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. 

Bottom line with family in my opinion, it's best just to tell them.  Make sure to explain how the surgery works, what life will be like for you newly post-op, long term goals, etc.   If they are angry, it's probably just because of fear....if my child was having surgery, I'd freak out too.  But ultimately you are an adult and make your own decisions, so they will have to either be mad or live with it.  I'm pretty sure that after they see how much healthier and happier you are, they will come around.  You'd might be surprised though, I had way more support than I ever had negativity so hopefully that will be  your situation too.  

I also, "carried my weight well" and that was mentioned to me by family pre-op.  That's crap, I still felt miserable.  Now I feel like how I always should have and you will too.  

Good luck!!

~Emily~ 

 Its ur choise to tell who u want. the only thing i would recomend is to make a decition before start to tell peopole ur considerin WLS. cuz everyone is gonna have a opinion about it  and some of them are not gonna be very encoraging. so i would wait to tell till you are sure ur getting it.
i was soo excited about my surgery that i told all my friends and famiily,n everyone was very supportive, but i was like im gonna have surgery not im thingking about it. cuz if u say ur thinking about it they are gonna think ur asking for they point of view, 
good luck!

 I'm with Marianna--make sure you are sure about your decision before you tell other people.  

I think it's important to keep in mind their motivations in their opinions. For example, a similarly heavy relative may be feeling abandoned or may feel that whatever he or she is doing would work for you. But, for the most part, they are just thinking of you.  Most of my family is pretty supportive but they wish I would try dieting the "normal way."  Of course I've been doing that with the same (bad) results my entire life.  Also, what I get is "well if you'd watch what you're eating" and then they suggestively look at my plate.  But the fact of the matter is that you know what's best for you.  You are the only one to live in your body.  

 i told my parents as soon as i was seriously considering it. they have been pushing me to have it for a few years now so they were happy. i never even got to really tell any other family members because my mom has a big mouth, even though i told her i wasn't ready for people to know. i've only told my a handful of my friends so far. and haven't said anything to anyone at work yet (which i feel guilty about since i'm good friends with my manager, i just don't know how she is going to react). plus things keep getting pushed back, originally it  was going to be march, now i'm pushed back to probably the beginning of june, so i'd rather not tell people until it's closer.