How did you tell people?

I am in the process of setting a surgery date to have lap band.  I'm not worried about the surgery at all, however, I am terrified to tell people (mainly my parents).  I am so afraid that they will not be supportive or even ashamed that I chose the "easy way out".  How did you tell people, and do you have any suggestions for me?

congrats on ur surgery!!! hope you get a date soon!.
you don't have to tell people if you don´t want to. however its very importatn that your family knows about it. your gonna need all the suppport you can get. if you parents are not supportive, (which i don´t think is the case) you can find support in other places friends, relatives, coworkers, HERE!.
just make sure that when you tell them you have a plenty knolodge of your surgery so you can answer all of them cuestions so they will understand your resons of have it done. and that you are gonna be ok.  
weather they like it or not i think they have the right to know, and u have the right to have their support. so givem a chance they may  surprise you.
good luck!!!!!!!!!.
hugs.

I just had RNY over a week ago.  My mom and I had talked about it some before I made the decision to consult with a surgeon so I had her to talk to about it.  But the first person I told besides her was my best friend.  I told him everything about what the surgery involved, what it would mean afterwards, how i would have to eat from here on out.  I know that he would be supportive no matter if he was weary of the surgery or not.  I suggest picking the one person that you are closest to, whether it's a best friend or whoever it is that you talk to about anything and everything in life.... someone that you know won't judge.  They need to know anyone and it's also a good rehearsal for when you go into it with your parents.  My advice is that you need to be absolutely, 100% sure that this is what you're going to do... that WLS is for you.  Because IF there are some family members or friends that don't think you should do this, it will be tough trying to justify yourself to them and convince yourself this is what you want at the same time.  I had made my mind up completely.  I knew that my RNY was going to be the right choice and the perfect weight loss tool for me and I was ready for it.  But I had a few family members who were not crazy about the idea and we'd talk about it but they never really verbalized how freaked out it made them, then I got my surgery date and all of a sudden I was having surgery in two weeks and they freaked out! They tried to shove fear down my throat in an attempt to scare me out of having the surgery.  Little did they know there was nothing they could tell me that I didn't already know, I had done ALL of my research.  I knew absolutely what could possibly go wrong and I knew what to expect: risks and all.

You don't HAVE to justify yourself to others.  They don't know what it is like to live in your body and walk in your shoes day to day.  Even all of us on OH, we all have different reasons and motives for having WLS, but in the end it is OUR decision.  However, I would have to say that these past 10 days since I've had my surgery would have been miserable had I not had an amazing support group of family and friends behind me.  Now that I've had my surgery and I'm doing so well and already losing weight and I'm just SOOO freakin excited about life, my whole family is fine.  The ones that were freaking out on me, they're okay now.  I know it was all out of concern for my well-being, they just didn't quite express it the right way.  But don't be afraid to tell your family, like I said, it's so important to have them there.  Even if they don't 100% agree with your choice, it's your choice not their's and they'll be there to support you, trust me.  You need them.  Express that to them.  BUT have all your facts together about the surgery, pre-op, post-op, long term because they will ask a million questions ten million times.  And be confident.  Be ready for anything they have to say.  And tell them you need them to understand and support your decision.  This is for you, it's not for them.  Plus, the band is very minimally invasive and a overall safe procedure.

Sorry for the novel! But I just know how spooky it can be! I've just recently dealt with all this with family!!!  I hope things go well! Good luck with your Band!!!!!!

Lindsay

I only chose to tell people whom I cared about and cared about me... to this day I still havent told a lot of people because its really not their business. My dad was supportive, I knew he would be, of course he wanted to make sure I had done my research and questioned me a lot, when he saw I was serious and done everything (I didnt tell my parents until I was approved, I went thru an 8 month process of fighting the insurance company). My mother was very unsupportive because 'i was going to die in surgery' (my mother is VERY overdramatic... everything is a huge deal and we are dieing from it... even a runny nose lol). I had to basically tell her how it was... I made the decision I was doing it and she was behind me or wasnt... I asked her to support me as her daughter even if she didnt support my decision... of course she eventually came around and still talks to people about my surgery (she works at the hospital). The other people who I shared with were all close friends who I knew would support me as well as family. I never got the 'easy way out' spiel because anybody who would have said it never knew about it... not that they know what they are talking about anyways. This surgery is A LOT of work... while it helps you lose weight it does not keep it off for you... nor does it change your brain... thats all up to you.

 First off. . . this is not "the easy way out" stop telling yourself that.  You are letting someone operate on you because you realize that there needs to be a change and are simply using a tool to retrain yourself to a much healthier lifestyle.

Secondly, you aren't required to tell people.  I made the very personal choice to tell just about everyone though.  I am comfortable with the decision that I made and know I did it for the right reasons.  If you are comfortable with the surgery then you should be fine telling people.  Explain it to them.  Its a tool, not a fix all.  You need to make lifestyle changes, the surgery is not a magic solution.  You will be working out . . . you will be eating right. 

Accept your surgery and believe that you are making use of a vital and available tool.  When you tell your parents have your facts straight, know your reasoning, and be comfortable with what you are going to do.

Best of luck with your surgery
~<3~

My biggest problem is I come from a family where I am the only overweight one.  They have never understood why exercise and diet restriction have never worked for me; they think I just have no willpower.  I know that this is the right choice for me because I can no longer live in the body I'm in, but I'm almost positive they will not understand or even look down on me for having it. However, I need someone for support.  I just don't know what to do.

 If your family won't support you in it, do you maybe have a close friend who would?  And as far as support goes . . . you have us if you desperately need it and I would fully suggest finding a group of people in your area who have a support group running.  

But again, you are not taking the easy way out and don't let anyone ever tell you that.  If dieting worked then their wouldn't be a thriving industry selling products to a desperate public.  This surgery is going to show you how and what to eat in a way that won't make you suffer and feel hungry all the time and that is why it works.  

I know what its like to be the only heavy one in the family also and that is a major suckish feeling.  My sister has been a dancer in highschool . . . 1 of those girls who has always been flirty and confident and a guy magnet.  My mom has always worked in a very physical workplace so shes stayed thin and my dad is just plain active.  Its rough, but sometimes you got to trust that they'll love and support you whether they understand or not.  If they look down on you then straight out tell them how you feel and what you need from them.  Again support your decision with statistics and don't let them get you down.  We'll always be here for you if you find that you can't tell them.

Good luck
~<3~

First of all congrats on your decision for surgery. 

When I made the decisiong to tell my family, friends and colleagues I had the same exact concerns you do.  I even considered lying about the surgery and making something up.  I didn't want to feel like I had failed and was using this surgery as a last resort.

The truth of the matter is that Lap Band or Gatric Bypass (what I had) is no easy decision and whehter or not you get support from family you HAVE to do it.  

I wrote an article about my experience, check it out, maybe it'll help. http://aftergastricbypass.net/surgery/the-announcement-im-getting-gastric-bypass