new and wanting to tell my story.
I hope it's alright to be posting this here. I looked through the other forums, and I've always found the biggest issue in my life is not being able to relate to the people around me. While I may have things in common with some people, it's always kind of been a burden relating to people much older or younger than I am. I'm not in my twenties quite yet, but by the time this journey really gets started, I will be. And... I've always gotten along better with those a little older than me, anyways.
I've always struggled with my weight. I'm only 19 and perhaps a lot of people see my lack of years even being alive as something akin to ignorance or naivety, but I honestly think that it's the same for all of us, no matter how long we've been dealing with being over weight, or obesity. For most, if not all of my teenage years, I had no self esteem and very little self confidence. Boys and girls alike picked on me, hated me, beat me up and just up and ignored my existence because of my weight. It was really hard for me to get through my high school years not only because I was the biggest girl in my school, but also because I have two mothers, a broad view of religion and other taboo topics, and open myself up for love to and from whomever wants to receive or give it. I've always been kind of freakishly good with words because I'm a writer, and have learned (through many trials and experiences) that everyone deserves a fighting chance, and all I can really do is support and love no matter what differences we may have.
It was these same experiences and lessons of learning how to view other people, that shaped my perspective on myself, as well. Though there are times I'm really down on myself and my weight, and often have a hard time putting myself in situations I know might be awkward because of my weight, I'm really rather confident in who I am as a person that my appearence really doesn't bother me that much. I guess I learned to love myself.
So why am I posting on a WLS forum, if I'm so confident in my body and myself?
Because I can't be myself if I'm bed ridden, or have to take insulin needles everyday, or I'm in the hospital because I've eaten myself to death. I don't want to worry about getting older and having all of these complications because I couldn't put down the hamburger and walk the hell away when I was sixteen. Because I want to learn about making healthy food choices and the positive effects it has on my body. Because I want to sit on a subway and have someone want to sit beside me, or go to an amusement park and not worry about fitting or being able to get out without embarrassing myself, or run around and play soccer with my friends without collapsing on the grass. Because I want to be able to follow my dreams of traveling aross the world to South Korea and teach, or around the world to see everything that it has to offer. Because I want to someday meet someone that I love and that loves me, and be able to do all of these things and more with them. There are so many reasons, and I'm sure all of you can share in most if not all of them, as well.
My sister's best friends have recently (within the last year) both gotten WLS in the form of RNYs. I've been asking for advice from both of them and as much information as I can possibly take in (sometimes it's really overwhelming and scary, and I need to stop and catch a breath before I continue). I understand the complications it can have, and I know that it's not just an easy way out (like so many people that don't struggle with our issues like to believe). It's going to be hard, possibly even worse because I also have a University career I'm working on getting under my belt. But no matter how much worry I have for this, I know the outcome will benefit me far greater than any pain I can endure (plus, man, my appendix burst when I was in grade three and that **** was the most painful experience I've ever had).
I have support from two people in my family. I live at University and prior to that, I lived in a youth shelter, and prior to that, I lived on my own (I moved out when I was 16). I don't know what to tell the rest of my family, how I'm thinking of this surgery, that it's pretty much a go for me at this point, and that although I respect their opinions (sometimes...), it's something I need to do for myself. I'm scared, most of the time I feel alone, and I really need some support and some guidance with this.
So I'm reaching out to those I think can help me. Any information, any stories, any encouragement, just... Anything you have to offer me would be greatly appreciated. The steps I should be taking, phone numbers for people I should be calling, reccommendations, whatever you think would benefit me and help me start taking steps in my journey to recovery. I live in Toronto, ON, CA, as well, and I know my location has a lot to do with the technical side of things.
Thank you so much, if you read all of this... Please welcome me to the forum and the days preceding the rest of my life.
:-) and love,
Diana
I've always struggled with my weight. I'm only 19 and perhaps a lot of people see my lack of years even being alive as something akin to ignorance or naivety, but I honestly think that it's the same for all of us, no matter how long we've been dealing with being over weight, or obesity. For most, if not all of my teenage years, I had no self esteem and very little self confidence. Boys and girls alike picked on me, hated me, beat me up and just up and ignored my existence because of my weight. It was really hard for me to get through my high school years not only because I was the biggest girl in my school, but also because I have two mothers, a broad view of religion and other taboo topics, and open myself up for love to and from whomever wants to receive or give it. I've always been kind of freakishly good with words because I'm a writer, and have learned (through many trials and experiences) that everyone deserves a fighting chance, and all I can really do is support and love no matter what differences we may have.
It was these same experiences and lessons of learning how to view other people, that shaped my perspective on myself, as well. Though there are times I'm really down on myself and my weight, and often have a hard time putting myself in situations I know might be awkward because of my weight, I'm really rather confident in who I am as a person that my appearence really doesn't bother me that much. I guess I learned to love myself.
So why am I posting on a WLS forum, if I'm so confident in my body and myself?
Because I can't be myself if I'm bed ridden, or have to take insulin needles everyday, or I'm in the hospital because I've eaten myself to death. I don't want to worry about getting older and having all of these complications because I couldn't put down the hamburger and walk the hell away when I was sixteen. Because I want to learn about making healthy food choices and the positive effects it has on my body. Because I want to sit on a subway and have someone want to sit beside me, or go to an amusement park and not worry about fitting or being able to get out without embarrassing myself, or run around and play soccer with my friends without collapsing on the grass. Because I want to be able to follow my dreams of traveling aross the world to South Korea and teach, or around the world to see everything that it has to offer. Because I want to someday meet someone that I love and that loves me, and be able to do all of these things and more with them. There are so many reasons, and I'm sure all of you can share in most if not all of them, as well.
My sister's best friends have recently (within the last year) both gotten WLS in the form of RNYs. I've been asking for advice from both of them and as much information as I can possibly take in (sometimes it's really overwhelming and scary, and I need to stop and catch a breath before I continue). I understand the complications it can have, and I know that it's not just an easy way out (like so many people that don't struggle with our issues like to believe). It's going to be hard, possibly even worse because I also have a University career I'm working on getting under my belt. But no matter how much worry I have for this, I know the outcome will benefit me far greater than any pain I can endure (plus, man, my appendix burst when I was in grade three and that **** was the most painful experience I've ever had).
I have support from two people in my family. I live at University and prior to that, I lived in a youth shelter, and prior to that, I lived on my own (I moved out when I was 16). I don't know what to tell the rest of my family, how I'm thinking of this surgery, that it's pretty much a go for me at this point, and that although I respect their opinions (sometimes...), it's something I need to do for myself. I'm scared, most of the time I feel alone, and I really need some support and some guidance with this.
So I'm reaching out to those I think can help me. Any information, any stories, any encouragement, just... Anything you have to offer me would be greatly appreciated. The steps I should be taking, phone numbers for people I should be calling, reccommendations, whatever you think would benefit me and help me start taking steps in my journey to recovery. I live in Toronto, ON, CA, as well, and I know my location has a lot to do with the technical side of things.
Thank you so much, if you read all of this... Please welcome me to the forum and the days preceding the rest of my life.
:-) and love,
Diana
Hey Diana,
I think you would be a perfect canidate for WLS. You seem very strong and confident and you have very good reasons for wanting to do this. From what you have written, you have already persevered through a lot for being only still a teenager! If you can get through life having the burden of being overweight until this point, you can cetainly get through the rewarding journey or WLS. I am so happy myself that I have chosen to do this at this point in my life. I am 24 yrs old and I just stopped kidding myself that things would be ok, I needed to take more drastic action. I am very excited for you and your start on this journey! Good luck :)
-michelle
I think you would be a perfect canidate for WLS. You seem very strong and confident and you have very good reasons for wanting to do this. From what you have written, you have already persevered through a lot for being only still a teenager! If you can get through life having the burden of being overweight until this point, you can cetainly get through the rewarding journey or WLS. I am so happy myself that I have chosen to do this at this point in my life. I am 24 yrs old and I just stopped kidding myself that things would be ok, I needed to take more drastic action. I am very excited for you and your start on this journey! Good luck :)
-michelle
Hi Diana,
Welcome to the board. This is a safe place for all of us who know and understand what it's been like spending most, if not all, of our lives as morbidly obese people. It really hit home for me when you talked about how people treated you growing up..same here, the people I went to school with were awful, starting at age 5 non the less...I only hope for them that their children will be more tolerant than they were. As for your beliefs, I have not met one person (on this board, at least) who has judged anyone based on how they live their lives. I think we all have an understanding that what we are going through now with our weight is enough to worry about, let alone what someone thinks of your religious/sexual/political/etc. preferences. I'm honest and unbiased to everyone here, I just try to tell it in the perspective of how I see things. I'm no expert but I'm living the life as best I can. I guess at 28, I'm one of the older ones here so I have been through college, dating, marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and WLS.....so I just hope my experience in those areas can help someone just newly going through them.
The best place to start to get the WLS ball rolling is with your family doctor. If you don't have one, try to ask around to who others you know go to and find one that comes recommended. You don't have to be afraid of asking about surgery, it's your right to do so. See if the dr. gives you any names of WLS surgeons he can refer you to in your area, this is how I found my surgeon. From there you will make an appointment with the surgeon and he/she will guide you on the process from there. Call your insurance company and see what exactly they will cover and if there are any other prerequisites.
Best of luck you, I know you are struggling with your weight and I hope that WLS will take you a better place in your life.
Take care!
~Emily~
Welcome to the board. This is a safe place for all of us who know and understand what it's been like spending most, if not all, of our lives as morbidly obese people. It really hit home for me when you talked about how people treated you growing up..same here, the people I went to school with were awful, starting at age 5 non the less...I only hope for them that their children will be more tolerant than they were. As for your beliefs, I have not met one person (on this board, at least) who has judged anyone based on how they live their lives. I think we all have an understanding that what we are going through now with our weight is enough to worry about, let alone what someone thinks of your religious/sexual/political/etc. preferences. I'm honest and unbiased to everyone here, I just try to tell it in the perspective of how I see things. I'm no expert but I'm living the life as best I can. I guess at 28, I'm one of the older ones here so I have been through college, dating, marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and WLS.....so I just hope my experience in those areas can help someone just newly going through them.
The best place to start to get the WLS ball rolling is with your family doctor. If you don't have one, try to ask around to who others you know go to and find one that comes recommended. You don't have to be afraid of asking about surgery, it's your right to do so. See if the dr. gives you any names of WLS surgeons he can refer you to in your area, this is how I found my surgeon. From there you will make an appointment with the surgeon and he/she will guide you on the process from there. Call your insurance company and see what exactly they will cover and if there are any other prerequisites.
Best of luck you, I know you are struggling with your weight and I hope that WLS will take you a better place in your life.
Take care!
~Emily~
"Tis better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not"
This is a great place for support and advice! first I would start with your doctor and start doing your own research on the type of surgery, I would look into all of them and then decide what fits you and your lifestyle not every surgery is meant for the same person! I would also go to a seminar at the hospital that you would get surgery at in my experience you could not see the doctor without first going to the seminar. Good luck and come back for any help or support!
alicia
alicia
Thank you for all of your support everyone, and the advice you've offered. :( It's really nice knowing that I'll be going through this with other people that can relate and help me through it.
I've made a doctor's appointment for Monday with a female doctor I am entitled to through my University, and I am just hoping that she's one of the ones that support WLS for individuals. I have a family doctor but... I really dislike her, she's very unprofessional, so I'm hoping I'll be able to ask this new doctor (if I like her!) to become my new family doctor.
It's all so overhwelming, but I'm excited for this. I think it'll all be really worth everything I'm going to have to go through..
Thanks for all your words, too. I appreciate all of them!
I've made a doctor's appointment for Monday with a female doctor I am entitled to through my University, and I am just hoping that she's one of the ones that support WLS for individuals. I have a family doctor but... I really dislike her, she's very unprofessional, so I'm hoping I'll be able to ask this new doctor (if I like her!) to become my new family doctor.
It's all so overhwelming, but I'm excited for this. I think it'll all be really worth everything I'm going to have to go through..
Thanks for all your words, too. I appreciate all of them!
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