perspective..
so i have been thinking ever since somebody posted "how do people treat you differantly".. (sorry i dont remember the whole title.)
so since surgery i have been stating to people i discuss wls surgery with that for me its just one big "clusterf*ck".
i know from a year ago till now my perspective and the way my psych is, has changed a bit. and with some self confidence and reflection, part of me looks at things differantly now. ive always been a 2 fold person though, i try to see both sides of the story when thinking things through. at work i like to treat everybody who works for me fairly and equally. so sometimes as much as i am an opinionated big mouth jersey girl, i do try to take all sides into account before saying how i feel.
i guess the point of what im trying to say is, yes some people are douchebags (excuse my language) and do treat over weight people differantly then smaller people. but how much do you think is JUST IN OUR HEADS? im not trying to discount the societal view on obesity, just plainly pointing out i think for a lot of us we had so many guards up during our times of struggle, its kinda like we had goggles on and we are for the first time attempting to see clearly. i know as an obese person i was very depressed at times and manic. and since losing my weight i feel as if ive let go of some of my inhibitions and feel as if my goggles have new lenses.
like ive stated earlier, i am not saying society isnt wrong. ive dealt with hate towards fat people my whole life. the stares, the snickers, the whole shabang that goes with it. im just simply stating/asking how much is them? how much is us? ya know?
adjusting to the new life is hard. the past 9 months for me has been a huge huge journey. if your pre-op be ready for yourself to change in many wonderful ways.
this just hasnt been a weight loss journey. this has been a journey of finding myself, and growing to love ME.
so since surgery i have been stating to people i discuss wls surgery with that for me its just one big "clusterf*ck".
i know from a year ago till now my perspective and the way my psych is, has changed a bit. and with some self confidence and reflection, part of me looks at things differantly now. ive always been a 2 fold person though, i try to see both sides of the story when thinking things through. at work i like to treat everybody who works for me fairly and equally. so sometimes as much as i am an opinionated big mouth jersey girl, i do try to take all sides into account before saying how i feel.
i guess the point of what im trying to say is, yes some people are douchebags (excuse my language) and do treat over weight people differantly then smaller people. but how much do you think is JUST IN OUR HEADS? im not trying to discount the societal view on obesity, just plainly pointing out i think for a lot of us we had so many guards up during our times of struggle, its kinda like we had goggles on and we are for the first time attempting to see clearly. i know as an obese person i was very depressed at times and manic. and since losing my weight i feel as if ive let go of some of my inhibitions and feel as if my goggles have new lenses.
like ive stated earlier, i am not saying society isnt wrong. ive dealt with hate towards fat people my whole life. the stares, the snickers, the whole shabang that goes with it. im just simply stating/asking how much is them? how much is us? ya know?
adjusting to the new life is hard. the past 9 months for me has been a huge huge journey. if your pre-op be ready for yourself to change in many wonderful ways.
this just hasnt been a weight loss journey. this has been a journey of finding myself, and growing to love ME.
But you don’t
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart
~jack johnson~
I totally agree with you and I 100% KNOW for a fact that some, if not most, of my issues were/are in my head. People (not all) discriminate against fat people but I would sometimes avoid situations altogether because I thought someone might say something or look at me wrong "for being fat" ......Wow, I can't tell you how many times I used that excuse. I can't do this, I can't go here, I can't talk to this person, I can't do anything right, you don't love me....Why? Because I'm fat.
Wow....this has never come out before but I totally see it now. Breakthrough!
Obviously, if I was so paranoid about a situation that I would avoid it, it wasn't anyone else's problem but my own.
You know what though, even though I can't use the fat excuse anymore I have managed to find other things to bring me down..but thankfully, less often. My newest (horrible) one is when my son is acting up, I'll throw out the "because I'm a terrible parent" I know I"m not, I love my guy more than anything. I know I'm not perfect but I do my best.
What a great post because it's so true!!! I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we can probably say that we have created at least one scenario of our own misery at some point. Now we just have to stop it!
Take care!!!
~Emily~
Wow....this has never come out before but I totally see it now. Breakthrough!
Obviously, if I was so paranoid about a situation that I would avoid it, it wasn't anyone else's problem but my own.
You know what though, even though I can't use the fat excuse anymore I have managed to find other things to bring me down..but thankfully, less often. My newest (horrible) one is when my son is acting up, I'll throw out the "because I'm a terrible parent" I know I"m not, I love my guy more than anything. I know I'm not perfect but I do my best.
What a great post because it's so true!!! I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we can probably say that we have created at least one scenario of our own misery at some point. Now we just have to stop it!
Take care!!!
~Emily~
"Tis better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not"
im so glad i could help you with a breakthrough! 
i still deal with paranoia sometimes...i still walk into new situations and think "wow they are going to just think of me as THAT fat girl and not the girl thats smart and a hard worker". but slowly over time its fading thankgoodness and i remind myself, i am NOT the old me and if somebody has a problem with me, its their fault for not realizing how damn fabulous i am!!
<3
i still deal with paranoia sometimes...i still walk into new situations and think "wow they are going to just think of me as THAT fat girl and not the girl thats smart and a hard worker". but slowly over time its fading thankgoodness and i remind myself, i am NOT the old me and if somebody has a problem with me, its their fault for not realizing how damn fabulous i am!!
<3
I know what ur talking about "the fat paranoia" i have some still.
n i Do belive that everything its in my head. and yes i stoped doing things cuz i was fat because i was to afraid of what people would think of me. and its sooo stupid, and i still do. it sometimes, yeah i know its sooo wrong. but its something i have to work about
n i say its on my mind, cuz never someone have tell mesomething to make me feel unconfortable or make fun of me cuz i was fat not even in school so i thank good for that. before i lose the weight i never talked about how i feelt about my obesity now im very open about it and sometimes my friends are amazed that i talk about it. like they thought i was ok with it.
our worse enemy are ourselfs.
HUGS!!!!
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