Who did you tell???

Hi everyone! I'm having RNY 1/18/10, my family knows, but other than that I haven't told anyonre.  I guess I'm scared of the "oh you dont need it" or "you're crazy" or anything negative I guess! I told my boss yesterday that I had to have my gall bladder out on that date, but once I start losing weight, then what? LOL Help!!!

hi sarah

i told almost all of my close friends and family. i was lucky. no one was rude or unsupportive. i could tell  one or two of them probably have issues with it but are keeping there mouths shut and listening to me when i talk about it and being supportive anyway, i have been told i don't need it by tons of people (who still are supporting me). i am 5'6" and 244lbs but people tend to think i weigh a lot less. i just  reply that i have battled obesity my entire life and have never been able to keep weight off and don't want to end up like my SMO parents with al of their health problems. i've been very lucky, i have extremely supportive friends and family and coworkers. i've read a lot about people with negative experiences too.

the truth is, your surgery is your business. it is up to you if you want to tell anyone and who you think you can trust. you just do what feels right for you. if you really don't want to say anything just tell  your boss your are on a strict diet and exercise program from your doctor to get to a healthy weight. you really are. however, people may start to suspect so it is up to you whether or not you want to let the cat out of the bag. i work 16 hour days so i think there is no way i'll be able to hide it so i just came clean. it's nothing to be ashamed of and don't let anyone make you feel that way. good luck and congratulations :o)

jenni. d

p.s. yay for surgery in january! i'm 1/13/10!

Thanks Jenni!!!! :)

 So going into the WLS surgery process I was 100% adamant that I wasn't going to tell anyone except my close family! I mean I was planning on my mom, dad, sister, and grandmother knowing about the surgery and that was it! As I got closer to surgery time I realized that my two best friends were going to figure it out wether I told them or not so I went ahead and told the two of them. As time went by in the first few months after surgery I pretty much told everyone. All my friends know, most of my family knows (even some of my step siblings) and even quite a few people I just know vaguely from school know about it. I think that initially I didn't feel like defending myself and my decision so I purposely avoided telling the people I didn't think would understand. I've actually been lucky enough to have absolutely everyone I've told except for my stepmother be completely 100% supportive of my decision and all of the ups and downs that have come with it, and honestly my stepmother is just a ***** who hates me anyways so there was no way she was going to be a decent human being about it to begin with. Honestly I would say that if you are more comfortable telling people about it go for it! And definitely if you don't want to tell anyone then keep it to yourself and come here when you need support, but don't be ashamed of your decision! You're making this choice for you and if someone doesn't understand that then that's their problem not yours!

i had a lot of issues with this same topic. at first only my very best friends, immediate family, and my boss knew. as the date got closer i started opening up more and more about it to coworkers and such because i knew i was doing the right thing. Even the negative comments i did get, i had to just let go because nothing was going to change my mind. this is YOUR decision so try not to let peoples opinions get to you! i think you'll find a lot more people will be supportive of it then you'd think, and chances are a few people already know someone who had it.

i told my family and closest girl friends. i didn`t tell lot of people before my surgery cuz i didn`t want them to  make me nervious u know like bad coments n stuff. but ones i had it.  if people ask me what i did im very open about my surgery but if the don`t ask i don`t have to give any explanations about my weight loss. so don`t feel like u need to tell people about it at least u want them to.
good luck!
ps. WLS not a thing to be ashamed of. and for my surprise people has been really nice and supportive about it. and they alwasy ask me about it. people are actually intersted.

hugs!

i guess it was easy for me because somebody that worked for me at the time got her surgery like 3 months before mine.. so everybody at work atleast was educated about it after she went thru everything ..

BUT THEN, i transfered and moved across the country. at first i pick and chose who i told at work. then other people started noticing my eating habits and frequent weight loss. and then i explained. people had a lot of questions and still do,, but mostly everybody was understanding. alot of people i told ended up knowing somebody who had wls at some point in time.

thats just my experiance though. i know some people here on the boards never tell anybody besides they immediate family. its your business, to me personally though id rather just be straight up wtih people, i hate hiding stuff. but i dont tell everybody if they dont NEED to know.

<3

The only people who knew were my mom, dad and sister.  I didn't even tell my grandmother and aunt until I was a month out from surgery.  Even today, I'm not about to just shout to anyone who wants to know lol.  You gotta earn that knowledge :)

well i am over a year and a half out, i still have not told many people. i lived in Texas when i had my surgery, i told my 3 closest friends there. my mom and dad, and my hubby of course that's it. i moved to cali at 6 months out and have not told anyone. my cousins, aunts, brothers or sisters have no clue. i don't regret the decision, i prefer it that way. people are very judgemental, also they become food police,
are you suppose to eat that?they will ask  well no, but are you suppose to eat that? i just find it easier to not tell people. i only eat a few bites of food, but i can eat junk if i want to, however i have never liked cake, so nobody wonders why i am not eating birthday cake. nobody even realizes how much you don't eat. i get a regular amount of food, and just eat very little, which works for me during family events.
the first few months is the most dramatic of weight loss. when did you start this journey? tell them you have been loosing weight since that month, which technically isn't lying, because just about everyone looses at least 1 pound before surgery. tell them when your fat it takes a lot of weight before people start to notice the difference. good luck on which ever decision you make.

I find it easier to tell strangers than people I know personally. I told people who I normally eat around. Some co-workers, friends I do dinners with, my parents. I have not told my siblings yet, but we don't live in the same states and they haven't really seen me as overweight as I got. I feel like if you are around someone enough to notice your habits to change tell them that you changed your eating habits, if you want them to know it all tell them.
I am only just over two weeks post operation, but I feel good enough about it to tell people.