x-post feeling like a bad person

i posted this on the main board but i also decided to come to the 20's forum to seek advice from those that are my age on what to do
here is my orginal post
ok so two weeks ago after drinking a ton of alcohol and feeling like death for the whole next day i made the decision to cut out alcohol for a while.  this is a hard decision considering my friends drink and its part of young wisconsin culture here.  now i know myself well enough that if i go into a bar i can't abstain from drinking.  i will drink there is no doubt in my mind.  i annouced it on facebook and to my friends (or so i though) about my decision.  i also discussed this decision in the support group meeting i went to last week.  everyone agreeded that my friends need to just deal with this decision.  well i kind of though the main "best" friend i had was on board cause she hadn't asked me to go out in two weeks.  well today she is having a crisis and i offered to come be with her and help but she needed to pick somewhere other than a bar.  i don't care if she drinks thats her choice but she can drink at her house in a restaraunt just somewhere where alcohol isn't the whole atmosphere.  well she is trying to guilt me into going out.  its what she does when i say no.  and she is all pissed off at me cause she thinks i don't care about her and i do.  i keep telling her i will be there for you i just can't be in a bar and respect that.  she keeps telling me she is trying to talk about feelings and i keep bringing me up.  well yeah i do because she keeps telling me to go into a bar.  i even told her that i am following the advice of a bariatric nurse who i agree with that i am walking a fine line with transfer addiction.  my friend is a nurse i figured this would show her i thought about this.  well nope she keeps texting me that i don't care and i finally told her guilt will not work this time i'm very firm on my decision and she needs to pick somewhere else and i will come be there for her.  i never once told her she couldn't drink, i'm trying to do whats best for my body.  epsecially having family pictures tomorow my mother will be furious if i'm sick.  god bless just talking to my friend who doesn't live around here and knows about the "best" friend and her games and is offering me support. so the question is how does one deal with a toxic friend

Sorry this is happening to you.......

What your friend is doing to you is being manipulative.  A true friend, even with their own problems, would understand that this is a real issue for you and be understanding.  Why exactly do you have to meet at a bar to talk about her problems?  Why not a coffee shop or your/her place?  It sounds like she's trying to sabotage you, either consciously or not but that's what looks like is happening. 

I'm sure she's a nice person but if you have explained your situation and nothing is being done then you might just have to distance yourself until she "gets it"......She will be pissed but the point of having our surgery and changing our lives is to live healthy not just physically but emotionally and otherwise.  If we have other toxic habits or people in our lives, that's not helping us be our absolute best.  

Good luck.... :)  

~Emily~