Are you conceited?

So I never had a problem with my looks before surgery. To be completely honest with everyone I think I am pretty good looking for a "big" girl. I never had a problem with the opposite sex...To say the least I have very high self esteem despite the weight...which brings us to another issue...Did anyone have an issue with their "new" self...what I mean is did you become full of yourself or constantly talk about yourself and how good you look. I find myself criticizing other people a lot lately and wanting to make negative comments about how people look. Now I've only lost 40 pounds so far but I fear this behavior is only going to get worse. I try to remind myself of how badly it feels to be made fun of and how hard it is to control your weight...especially if it is out of control. Thoughts?...Feelings?...Advice anyone?

I think no matter how we try not to judge others, it's going to happen be it publicly or in our heads.  Is it right?  No...but we do it anyway.  This is one of the things I work on every day because as you said, I know how it feels.  This doesn't just stop at weight, it's everything: social status, education, parenting, politics, etc.  It also doesn't help that the media has made it practically acceptable to tear apart anyone and everyone for even the slightest reason.

As far as myself, no, I rarely talk about myself and I'm probably the worst critic I have about how I look.  Even though I've done extremely well and look a million times better, I've never been one to brag about that.  I guess I look at the big picture, beauty fades ,things sag, youth ends.  What matters to me is what sort of person I am and how I live my life.  I do my best to try to be a good wife, mom, person in general...I'm far from perfect but as long as we all try, I think that's the best we can do.  I use the same philosophy for my weight loss efforts, none of us are perfect but as long as we give some effort, then we won't fail.
My turning point for this was the birth of my son when everything stopped being about me.  Once I realized that I am responsible for this little person and how grows up, a lot of my self-centeredness changed and I took more of a focus on the rest of my life, not just right now in the moment. 

As far as looking at obese people now, the only thing I feel is sympathy and worry about their health.  I know it doesn't bother some to be obese but it really did me and knowing how much better I feel now, I'd never go back.  It's a very personal choice though to do something about it and everyone's "right time" is so different so having negative thoughts or feelings towards another's decision is really a waste of time because it's not your choice....we've already had ours.   

Good luck and just remember that we are in control of all our thoughts and actions, so be responsible with them. :-)

~Emily~

This may come out wrong, and if it does I am sorry. Yes I am what some may call full of myself. I do think I am cute, and why should anyone expect me to feel any other way. How can I want someone else to find me attractive if I dont. I have a pretty face, a nice personality, and a body that is nice....but will be out of this world very soon. LOL! So yes I am full of myself, and when I weighed 390 lbs I was full of myself then as well. I am a firm believer that what one person dislikes there are plenty others who do. I have NEVER had a problem finding a man no matter what size I was. So if you are full of yourself.....SO WHAT!

As far as this "being cute for a big girl" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Does that mean that b/c you weigh a few extra lbs that makes your standars of cute different. You were and still are a very pretty girl. NOT cute for a big girl......your are and were cute for any sized girl.

As far as talking about others, its just something that we as humans do. I know it may be wrong but we do it. Yes we know how it hurts for people to make fun of us.....but that does not matter.  I dont seek out people to make fun of or laugh at. However if you look a hot mess I prob will tell my home girl....and we prob will laugh. Thats the way we have always been, no need for us to change now. I know everyone wants to take the nice road and say that its mean, but OH WELL. As you can see I am more for being honest......and sometime honesty isnt nice.

 LOL at the phrase hot mess....I'm going to have to start using that one!  

~Emily~

Danielle, I absolutely love your attitude. It's no wonder that you've had no trouble finding relationships. People are attracted to confidence AND beauty. You have both. Cheers! =)

Its only going to get worse the more weight you loose... just always try to remember where you came from and that will help you centralize and focus...

Thanks girls...I will always try to remember where I started from and remind myself of how badly it hurts.
-Amber