just a question....

hey all! i'm so used to just posting in the Ontario forum, i forgot i could go to other forums, so here i am, lol
my questions may seem dumb....i'm just curious....i've been researching WLS for a while now and i'm going to see my dr soon. i'm a little nervous he will tell me no, that i don't need WLS and he won't sign the papers for me.....my bmi is 44.7, i don't really have any co-morbids, other than constant pain and concern for my health as i seem to be noticing more things going on with my body, like chest pains, and i have fam history of cancers and HBP and stroke.  i have 2 dr's that i see...they both know i've been struggling with my weight and they know it's affecting my life but i've never been on a medically supervised diet or program....so i'm worried they may not believe me when i tell them what i've tried over the years. i've always found it embarassing to discuss. i always put myself on the back burner and i'm finally realizing that i need this to improve my life and my kids life.
i want to know how you approached your dr's when you decided to go for WLS??? did any of your dr's give you a hard time? did you feel like you didn't have enuff going on healthwise (like being an overweight-healthy person) to be approved for surgery? did you write personal letters to your dr or to the insurance? what all did you include in that letter?
If you guys can think of anything else to include that you think may be helpful, it'd be greatly appreciated.....thanks in advance, everyone on here is an inspriation to me, it's so great!
talk again soon,
joanne

First off, congrats on making this decision. I was like you, over weight with no co-morbidities execpt some knee and back pain, but also had a family history of high bp, high cloesterol, back issues, being overweight and so many more things. I just told my doctor that I wanted it and she was so excited for me and said she would do anything she could for me to make it happen. Once I picked a surgeon and just through all thier hoops I did have to write a letter statying why I wanted the surgery and what I was willing to do in order to make it as sucessful as possible. I don't think your doctors will be hard to convince if you have gone to them for a long time and don't be embarassed to talk about your weight to them, I actually cried when I talked to them because it is a tough subject but it does need to be discussed. good luck and keep us posted on how things go for you.

hey! thanks for writing back! means alot....i'm worried about my dr saying no because i think i need this so bad....maybe they won't say no, but i've been shut down my whole life it feels like...anytime something can be too good to be true (even thoguh WLS is only a tool and i'm gonna have to work my a$$ off) i always seem to get shut down. it's like a cycle and i'm the type where i keep my mouth shut and don't really confront ppl so i have come to the conclusion that i have to mentally prepare myself to walk in there and TELL him i want it, not ask for it kinda deal.
i cried the last time i went to the dr and talked to him about it...i couldn't help it.  it's a hard thing to handle, he keeps trying very hard to tell me about portion control and exercising....i walk at least 3 times a week, i couldn't tell you how far, but it's to town and back, lol (i live rural) it's a good walk. i have three kids so i'm constantly cleaning up and walking around the house, bending, lifting, hahaha!
i had my first child just after i turned 17 and had all three by 22, so i sometimes feel like i didn't give myself the time to think about losing weight because i was younger and figured i'd had babies so it was okay to gain weight! well now that my youngest is 4, i'm feeling the pressure boy. i have 2 friends....i've gone to parent groups and i feel as though the other mothers don't even want to bother with me and the only reason i can think why is because i'm bigger....so it's like i don't fit in the cliche....so i said screw em! the less friends i have anyways, the less drama in my life, haha....i've been burned too many times unfortunately..
i'm very happy you wrote me backas i kind of feel like i'm alone because my hubby isn't 100% on board with me just yet...he's at about 70%....i think he's afraid of the unknown. which is understandable, i bought myself a book on weightloss surgery and i've been reading it faithfully everynight so i know he's noticing that, see i can be the kind of person to start something and not fini**** lol, so i think he thought i got the idea and it would slowly wear off...but it hasn't and now it's getting serious so in the end i'm sure he'll be on board with me but it's just such a drastic change he will see in me and honestly, i don't want him to think i'll change for the worst, cuz i know that can happen. sometimes i feel like because i'm fat, he don't have to worry about me....no one will even talk to me kinda thing.....i don't even think like that. i would never do anything like that and it makes me upset to think that if he knows i'm unhappy with my weight then it's still better for him...i don't know if that's the case but that's how i feel....
i've been sick forever! ugh, like 2 weeks now and i missed my dr's appt to go talk to him cuz i was hacking like mad so i cancelled....it's only given me more time to get prepared i guess. i'm very nervous to talk to him....hopefully everything will go well.
thanks so much again, i'm sorry i've been rambling on, lol, i don't get out much, haha, i thought it was great there's a board for ppl in their 20's, we can all relate more. gotta go for now, i hope you don't mind if i keep in touch with you?? i'll deff keep you posted

joanne

 hi girl. }
i remember having the same concern. at my 1th appoiment. i was sittin in the waiting room with my mom and i rember telling my mom. woow the dr. won´t want to do my surgery. (there were lot of old people, i have never seen people that obese before) and my mom was like don't worry hun.  if its meant to be ur gonna have the surgery.
when i 1th meet my dr. he didnt even thought for a second that i didn´t need surgery, he was so excited for me being so young. and he told me see all those people who are outside at the waiting room. they all had wish to have had this opportunity at ur age, and we are preventing that u become of one of them. this kinda drs. have seen lots of awful things coming from obesity so. they are excited to give some young girl the oportunity to take back their lifes. so don´t worry. 
and i'll tell u the same thing my mom told me.
if is meant to be is gonna happen, 
good luck! 
hugs.

hi mariana!
thanks for writing back.....yes, i agree with you that if it's meant to be then it will be.  i truley hope everything goes well at the dr's for me, i don't know how he will react honestly and i'd hate to be turned down at this point. i've learned so much more....i'm done having children. i have 3 kids to care for and their father too....i see you are from Mexico, i know it's not the same place but my hubby is from Chile and his mother is from Spain so i feel i have to kind of live up to her and try my hardest because i'm not spanish? She was brought up in a harsh environment where feelings didn't really count where as i grew up this sensitive lil girl and it still sticks with me, it's hard to be strong sometimes.... i know that may sound silly but i just want her to be proud of me, my hubby too, i know he loves me but i just want to be healthier for my children, there's history of medical problems and i don't want to wait until it's too late....i'd rather have it done while i'm a 'healthy-fat person' lol. i think my age is right and so is the time....i love coming on here to read other ppl's posts, regardless where they live and how the insurance companies work, because deep down we all feel or felt that need for this surgery and had all the hardships too.
thanks again for writing back mariana....i'll be checkeng back with these posts, i'm so greatful for this website!!!
joanne