Touch issues
guys, I'm driving myself crazy here. I'm 180-185 lbs, doing fine, feeling okay, but I still feel so uncomfortable with touch, especially initiating it. it's like, totally loony. I get all nervous when people touch me, even though I like it. I'm not talking about sexually... just normal everyday stuff, and flirty stuff too. i just feel like I never really developed in that area and now I'm centuries behind. so i keep pressing on, trying to handle touch and get better about it and whatnot but does anyone know anything that would help/ has anyone else been through this, and did it get any better/ i don't want to keep sending off ''don't touch me'' vibes but I'm not sure how to change
ann
As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly!
before surgery i didnt allow anyone new to touch me, after surgery and getting use to my new body ive become more touchy feely. i guess its a matter of relax around that person be it a friend or a posiable relationship let them touch your arm or give u a hug unless they give u the creapy vibe that some people just give off. many people go through it and you will overcome it i promise. my thing is getting used to the fact that guys actuly check me out now or actully wana date me and not just have sex with me. like saturday night when we passed the seven eleven and u said the guy in there was checking me out i couldnt belive that. we have to just learn to get used to the things that didnt realy happen b4 surgery.
SW 280/ SW 266/ PPW 175/ CW 185
Im mean this is in the nicest possible way...but i think you need to seek professional therapy for this. Its really normal that you may have missed out on developing normal social skills-like casual touching-because you were overweight. I dont think theres much anyone on this forum will be able to help you with but a professional will probably know some ways to cope with developing these normal skills. i hope i didnt offend but theres some things that are just psychological and not behavioral.
*~*Mandy*~*
"Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams"
"Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams"
but...why? I don't know isn't an answer ;) this seem familar?
I think everyone is a little bad at this - it comes off as really awkward if everything doesn't work just right. and I don't really think you're as bad off as you think. I saw you touch people over the weekend in normal conversation as anyone would - you probably didn't even notice, or if you did it at least didn't seem forced or anything. That's half the battle really - your head will probably catch up the more you do it. and for those times when you really do notice and start to get nervous, just try and push through.
I think everyone is a little bad at this - it comes off as really awkward if everything doesn't work just right. and I don't really think you're as bad off as you think. I saw you touch people over the weekend in normal conversation as anyone would - you probably didn't even notice, or if you did it at least didn't seem forced or anything. That's half the battle really - your head will probably catch up the more you do it. and for those times when you really do notice and start to get nervous, just try and push through.
I get nervous when people touch me in certain situations but I think my problem is more so that I'm afraid that it will appear awkward. Otherwise, I'm a hugging it out gal...lol...
My husband really really hates being touched. I've never dug deep enough into the issue to ask really what the root of that is but I think it's just because he's very introverted and not so much a social/group person like I am. He does pretty well with me and our son, obviously, but branch out further than immediate family and he gets pretty squemish about it.
I don't know if you do go to a psychologist but I'm a big fan of the mental health profession anyway so that's what I always think it is a good idea or at least it wouldn't hurt to try to get to the root of the problem.
Good luck, I hope you can get over this hurdle soon!
~Emily~
My husband really really hates being touched. I've never dug deep enough into the issue to ask really what the root of that is but I think it's just because he's very introverted and not so much a social/group person like I am. He does pretty well with me and our son, obviously, but branch out further than immediate family and he gets pretty squemish about it.
I don't know if you do go to a psychologist but I'm a big fan of the mental health profession anyway so that's what I always think it is a good idea or at least it wouldn't hurt to try to get to the root of the problem.
Good luck, I hope you can get over this hurdle soon!
~Emily~
"Tis better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not"
hey guys,
y'all are great. april- your post made me smile so much. that guy that was checking you out was HOT. like, really really hot. we should have stopped and said hi.
david- thank you- your post was soooooo encouraging. i will try to remind myself that it's more in my head than a real issue. thanks for giving me the ammo for it.
emily- yeah, i love love love hugs. i think it's the casual stuff that i always feel awkward about--that's what I'm worried about too- feeling or looking akward. go****'s crazy i never think about being awkward unless i'm going to reach out and touch someone. and then all of a sudden, i'm making it awkward cause i'm worrying about it
mandy- haha, your post was totally fine. I did see a therapist for a little over six months. We spent, oh i'd say, 80 percent of the time talking about touch issues, and some of their overlapping categories. but it did very little for me. I think what I'm looking for here is to see if other people are feeling similar things, and if so, how they're coping with them. solidarity and support are two things which are wonderful here on our board. I definitely appreciate the advice though, and thanks for the compliment. I'm starting to feel okay with my body... now if i could only catch up on 22 years of social interractions accompanied by all that, it'd be fabulous
ann
y'all are great. april- your post made me smile so much. that guy that was checking you out was HOT. like, really really hot. we should have stopped and said hi.
david- thank you- your post was soooooo encouraging. i will try to remind myself that it's more in my head than a real issue. thanks for giving me the ammo for it.
emily- yeah, i love love love hugs. i think it's the casual stuff that i always feel awkward about--that's what I'm worried about too- feeling or looking akward. go****'s crazy i never think about being awkward unless i'm going to reach out and touch someone. and then all of a sudden, i'm making it awkward cause i'm worrying about it
mandy- haha, your post was totally fine. I did see a therapist for a little over six months. We spent, oh i'd say, 80 percent of the time talking about touch issues, and some of their overlapping categories. but it did very little for me. I think what I'm looking for here is to see if other people are feeling similar things, and if so, how they're coping with them. solidarity and support are two things which are wonderful here on our board. I definitely appreciate the advice though, and thanks for the compliment. I'm starting to feel okay with my body... now if i could only catch up on 22 years of social interractions accompanied by all that, it'd be fabulous
ann
As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly!
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