SHOULD I ?.....

 ok here is the thing. I have this "friend" well I know her since long time ago but we start talking since we had surgery. she had the lap band like 1 year and so ago.  
i haven't seen her in about 3 months or so, i saw her yesterday and she has gain almost all of the weight back and she is only 1 year out.
so i was asking one of her friends abou how was she doing. and she told me that she had unfiled the band since about 4 months ago( cuz she went to a trip and she wanted to eat,, ok what kinda dr. would do that!!! so pissed!!!!) and her dr. keep calling her to go back, cuz u know thats not a game or anything, and she doesn´t care. and man i saw her eat and i was sooo sad, i just wanted to cry and give her a huge huge and take her to the dr.! but  i knew that wasn´t a very good idea at the moment. her friend told me that i shouldn´t  worry about her, that she know what she is doing and that she is more than fine and doesn´t care. ( well obviously she is trying to look like she doesn´t by eating 2 large pieces of cake, and she didn´t even care that i was there). and i know that her friends had confronted her before.
 but you guys know what im talking about, she can´t  be happy, about that, she was soo happy about her surgery and she was losing so much weight at the begining. that is not any chance she is happy right now.  the surgery was working soo good for her but she sabotaged herself and it scares the **** outta me to see her like that, that coulda and could be me....


 the other thing that stops me is that she  is banded and im a RNy'er so she may star with the talk of  u don´t even have the same surgery blablalbalalbalbala. but man! my friends know i work soo hard to be where i am now i diet and i work my ass off at the gym cuz i choose to be healthy and to take some control of my health!!!! and i want her to understand that is hella hard is not just magic. is just a tool not the solution. and she needs to put that tool back to work, the good thing is that is not like she stretched her pouch she can get the band refilled and go back on track! she just donesn´t want to or seems like she doens´t care which i doubt

should i talk to her? or should i move on and let her realized that for herself. i know that when u are in that situation ur not able to see things clearly and doesn´t matter what people who loves u tells you. if u don´t want to understand it won´t help. so does it worth the try or should i move on and forget about it.  cuz finally she made her chooise. 

girls please girls don´t give up is sooooo worth it,  i know sometimes is hard but when u are when u wanna be is gonna feel so good and ur gonna understand so many things that you wish  u understand before of having surgery. is sooo worth it!! so keep it up!!!!!  and don't look back!!!! (well only to pick up the good things and, to see old pics and motivate ur self)

love ya all!!
hugs

Wow, that is a tough situation.  I feel the same way too when I see really moribly obese people, I think to myself how can they be happy?  I don't mean to sound like a snob or imply that anyone is unhappy but I know how I felt at 246lbs and I was beyond miserable.  

If it was me, I'd talk to her but try to do it in a most non-threatning way as possible.  You don't even have to bring up surgery at all, just tell her that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk or offer to be a workout buddy.  Weight is such a touchy thing and it's all great when you lose weight but it can be so embarrassing and shameful to the person when it comes back on...so like I said, just go about it delicately and offer support.   You know exactly how she feels, you've been there so I'm sure you'll do great.  

Good luck and I hope she gets back on the wagon! 

~Emily~

How sad! If i WERE you I wouldn't do it. But, hearing you say that reminds me of my friend.
She is about 340 pounds and eats horrible all the time. She is my best friend though. I wouldn't dare to say anything to her about it because I know how it is to be in the postition. Its all mental. She need help. But, she has to ask for it first.

 i know is hard, but i was talking to a friend about this the other day.
when i was fat no one of my friend dare to tell me i was too fat and that they were worried about my health or stuff. now that im healthy they are starting to say how worried they were about me!. and i honestly thought i wasnt that fat. so maybe is like u wanna be blind about ur problem. but u need people to tell you about this kinda stuff cuz sometimes is hard to see ur own flaws u know. so i have told my friends that if they see i gain a lil way to please tell me!!!. so maybe thats why u should say something to your friend and i should say something to mine. right?
hugs!

Very Sad!  My thoughts are if you are a friend which implies you care, talk with her, she may not listen but try.  Wait a couple of weeks and write her a letter and mail it (yeah the old fashinged way).  Let her know you care and want to support her as a friend, suggest she join a forum like this if she is uncomfortable talking with friends or family.  All you can do is try and care in the shadows.

Not to put down the lap band, but I do think that's one of the biggest problems lap banders face. Lap band is marketed as a reversible surgery that you don't have to live with forever, but pretty much everyone who gets their band unfilled will regain weight. It makes lap band more of a diet than a lifestyle to many people and when they're tired of it they cheat and/or quit like they did with every diet before lap band. People going into lap band don't always expect to eat like they do in the beginning forever and it's to their detriment that they don't. If the expectation is there and they allow themselves going into surgery to have the option of unfilling someday and going off track then it is more likely and even expected that they will stop their efforts at some point.

I wouldn't say anything. we knew were fat, and she knows she's fat. she knows what she has to do to lose weight again. she chose to have it reversed and is now dealing with the consequences. when it gets bad enough she'll know what to do, like we all did, and like she did before.

i agree i wouldnt say anything because that would really hurt.. everyones sensitive about there weight when there big and you wouldnt want to hurt your friend. Shes obviously eating for comfort and for the wrong reasons she must be going through something  so id jsut say if she needed a friend or to talk id be there for her. she will deal with it when shes ready hopefully not when shes gained 100 more pounds.it is sad:(

I personally wouldnt say anything either..she once made a desicion to be thin and healthy and chose to have the lap band,

she than chose to unfill her band for a trip out, and to be able to eat what she wanted...fine...but than she chose to keep eating bad, unhealthy chioces and portions and that was more worth it than to be thin and healthy, or to go and have her band refilled...

my opinion, she has not made that life style change to be heathy and thin.she is still dealing with her addiction and is just not ready to change her bad unhealthy eating habits.she will one day realize whats going on and how un happy and un healthy she has become AGAIN , and at that point she will than decide whats more important...

my thoughts and prayers for your friend as i too know how hard it is to deal with this horrible food addiction..i on the other hand have chosen to deal with it...

i really wish ur friend the best and just be there for her and supprt her when she needs you...

BoRiCuA408