Life after WLS

Hi everyone,

 I have been away from sometime...

As of today I've lost 77lbs and I am 197lbs. I feel great and I am finally letting my inner beauty shine. I no longer complain about anything about and I truly feel I have a new lease on life.

Before I had WLS I was a very unhappy and miserable person and I would see others happy and enjoying life and I always wished I could have a piece of happiness. Post WLS I have begun to learn that happiness comes from within. With all that said I have come to see the friends I have are miserable and filled with such hatred and envy (especially those that are dealing with weight issues whether they want to admit it or not). All of my heavy friends in one way or another have made a negative comment about my weight loss. People I guess feel compelled to comment on my weight loss but half the time its either forced or accompanied with an insult. For instance Wow Dawn you've lost so much weight you look great but you may want to get a shaper for you stomach. Or You look so great, but when are you getting in the gym. Now I know my stomach jiggles (as my mom says lol) but who cares....its not like im running around with my belly out or exposing my body. I couldnt walk pre WLS... I am blessed that I can walk, climb stairs, and wear heels. It even comes from family members as well (part of the reason why I stay away)...I am no longer the fattest relative....now those that may have been 20 pounds lighter than me (pre WLS) are pushed into the spotlight and feel the need to say negative things to me (I guess to make themselves feel better). 

I am not one that is throwing my weight loss up in people's faces or thats all I talk about...I am just a happier person in general...I traded in the sour face for a smile...I have an optimistic view on life instead of thinking that world is against me.

I was just wondering am I alone with this or has anyone else experienced this.

All your feedback is greatly appreciated...

who cares what people thinks?? is how u feel and you feel great!!! so that's the importhant thing about all this!!!. i know sometimes we need to vent, but smile and keep going.
people don´t know all we have been through and all the hard work we've done, so they feel free to judge!!!. so don´t even bother to listen to bad coments!!
and be an example for not only overweight relatives an friends everyone needs to be healthy so. eat well excercise and then prolly u can help to make a diference in their lifes.
now that i eat well and i go to the gym all my friends are trying to do the same thing so u don´t have say anything just do what is right.

hugs and good luck!

Thanks...

What you said is so true...many people look at WLS as a physical transformation but I see it as more than that. I am striving to be a happier person...not this girl that lost a ton of weight and is still a witch. I do want to be an inspiration for those that are wiling to make a change. I guess I never realized that those I surrounded myself by where so miserable and unhappy until I started to change myself.

By the way you look great...such an inspiration to me from the beginning of my journey! 

yup, and i never realized i was miserable before i had the surgery lol... I thougth i was the happy fat girl. guess i wasn't!!!! lol

and thanks girl ur tooo sweet!
hugs.

HEY GIRL...

U LOOK GREAT ....

i kno exactly what ur going though..even tho im still pre op...

most of my friends are big, and unhealthy like me...and we all have one thing in common which is food..we have bbqs and parties and this and that..just to kick it and eat and drink.....

so when i decided to have WLS surgery my "fat" friends started saying how my hair will fall out or how im gonna have saggy skin...and that im gonna look weird..blah blah blah...and i just tell them ..i can only improve...

i rather be skinny with loose skin than fat , uncomfortable,misreable, with loose skin...

theres only room for improvement,,ill take the sideeffect any day..and they get speechless..and frankly im tired of defending myself..i dont even bring it up..

but on the other hand my skinny friends are soo excited and happy and supportive ..they talk about it more than me sometimes...lol

i feel like the negative people are jealous and misreble and they all need to start taking care of their weight issues..and stop HATING.....

I'm still pre-op too and I feel the same way. Why is it that all my skinny friends and co-workers are so excited and happy for me and everyone that I tell about the surgery that is over-weight has to make excuses for why I shouldn't get the surgery? It's stupid. The other thing I'm tired of is when people say things like "well you know you can't drink with meals right" or "you know you're not going to be able to drink alcohol for awhile right". No **** Not like I haven't been researching and reading every single thing I get my hands on. 

Other favorite thing is when my best friend talks about wanting to get the surgery.. and then the next day says "naw, I think i'm just going to do it the HARD way." yup, right. because the surgery just sucks out all the fat and I don't have to do anything to make it work.

Sigh.

LOL at the hard way up...I have a few of those too...and they are the ones that was way bigger than me pre-op.

I just smile and say well I am sure you know whats best for you! 

@ boricua408

Thanks

My "skinny" or healthy friends are super excited for me...they are constantly giving me compliments (genuine ones) and want me to go shopping with them.

My fat friends are all HATERS...it's said that I can't even name one that hasnt made a dig in one way or another. They have even gone as far as the post statuses in Facebook that I know are indirect digs at me...but its all cool...you made a vaild point when you said all you have in common is food and misery. I have nothing in common with these girls anymore...so I keep my distance and move on.

As far as side effects...may hair did start thinning out especially around the sides but hey it is what it is...I do go to the salon more so my hair can be professionally cared for and treated and it is growing back...thicker than ever. Nothing in life is perfect...there are always pros and cons with every choice we make and in this issue the pros out weigh the cons.

MORNIN....=)

THE BIGGEST THING WITH ME...IS WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED TO COMMENT NEGTIVELY.???????

WHAT DO THEY GET OUT OF IT?
IF I WANNA HAVE SURGERY TO HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT SO WHAT?
IF ITS ''THE EASY WAY OUT"....SO WHAT???????
( NOT THAT IT IS BY ALL MEANS)
BUT WHO CARES..ITS OUR BODY AND IF WE WANT OR NEED SURGERY TO HELP US..THAN WHY HATE????

ITS NOT LIKE THEY CANT OPT TO HAVE SURGERY TOO?
I MEAN ITS CLEAR THAT ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS AND THEY DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO GO THROUGH WITH SURGERY OR THEY CANT AFFORD IT.OR.WHAT EVER THE CASE MAY BE..IT ALL JEALOUSY...

LAST NIGHT I HAD MY BEST FRIENDS OVER..( WELL I DUNNO IF THEY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS ANYMORE..LOL)

AND HE ASKS ME SO WHENS UR BIG DAY??( THIS IS THE SAME PERSON WHO SAID I WAS GONNA BE SAGGY)

I SAID IN 2 WEEKS ALL EXCITED OF COURSE AND HE WAS LIKE O REALLY WELL DONT TALK TO ME AFTER THAT...( HE WAS JOKING) BUT STILL I WAS LIKE WTF?????

WTF DOES MY DAMN DIGESTIVE SYSTEM HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR FRIENDSHIP...AND HE STATRS LAUGHING AND TELLS ME HES KIDDING..BUT STILL..WTF IS THAT?????

AND MIND U HES 280 POUNDS AND IS LIKE 5 FOOT 7..ON A GOOD DAY...

JEALOUSY......?????

ALL I CAN SAY TO ALL OF US WHO ARE EXPIRIENCING NEGATIVE COMMENTS IS TO JUST IGNORE THEM..WE ARE ALL TAKING CARE OF OUR WEIGHT ISSUES, AND OUR DEPRESSION,...AND FINALLY TRYING TO MAKE OURSELVES HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN OUR BODIES, AND THESE PEOPLE HAVE NOT STARTED TO TAKE ON THEIR OWN ISSUES....

BoRiCuA408

Hi there I am new to all of this but something about your article caught my eye.
I started my journey about 2 months ago, but I had researched WLS for 5 years. 

I weighed 302lbs on 6/15/09 and as of today I am at 221lbs 8/30/09 which is very exciting.. I was and still am always a very happy person and have always been optimistic especially at my heaviest.

BUT as your friends are giving you a hard time so is my family which to me is heartbreaking.. They say yes you look nice but you are losing who you are..  I find that odd because to me I am the same person I am just lighter and have like I said always been happy.. I always think to myself and start contemplating that maybe I do act different.

So I am frustrated and unsure how to handle my families contradictions. Hopefully someone out there can help. I dont think my family feels they are pushed into the spotlight I just think they dont understand my reasons for having the surgery.. Oh yeah and my favorite quote from my family is " You took the easy way out". By the way I have been in the hospital twice for dehydration and upper g.i. scans becuase I have had a really hard time eating.. So yeah that has got the be the easy way out..

Thanks and I hope someone can give me some ideas on how to approach my family.