HORROR-mones!!

so im about 5 months out in a week, and seriously theres days i just feel like im going absolutely insane! this is getting in the way of my life when i let it. i try to distract myself but sometimes that just doesnt work.

i know what depression feels like and ive been beginning to feel that way lately. i had the whole day off today and decided to sleep half the day then actually get things done like go to the gym and be productive.

i question everything, my brain feels like its going to explode and im going crazy.

my poor poor bf dealing with me like this. last week (im not sure if this was in my last post), i broke down and said perhaps i need to move out (what was i thinking:! hes great! and im lucky)

we just moved and i feel like the few friends i have made i may be pushing away just bc of my insanity and meloncoly. (it doesnt help i miss my east coast friends oh so freaking much!)

has any of this crazy emotional rollar coaster ever happen to anybody else???

hang in there, one morning you'll wake up and te sun will shine in and it will all be over...
we all go through this and it SUCKS.. our poor love ones deal with a crap load from us..
my husband was like wow i can't beleive that sweet person i married is gone and now i'm stuck with you.. i kept reminding him and myself i can't control it.. it just happens..
about two weeks ago i fianlly felt happy again..like ME the old ME... so give it some time.. just keep reminding yourself things get better just give it time..
chin up
Annmarie

ty ann marie for your encouraging words <3 am

 It sounds like you  have a lot on your plate right now, which I can bet is why you feel like you are going insane.  Stress does funny things to people.  When I'm really pushed to the edge I just turn into a huge B*$#^, which I'm totally not any other time.  I feel bad for those around me during that time.  One problem for me now is that I can't comfort myself with food so I'm forced to actually deal with my problems....it's kind of a scary, new thing I've never had to do before.  

Have you every been on any meds for depression or anxiety?  I'm not a huge pill pusher but I was on fluoxitine (Prozac) and another med for anxiety because I had horrible post partum depression after my son was born.  For me, they worked so well and they helped me feel more like myself and I only had to take them for about 6 months.  I've also had close family members on anxiety meds and they have been helped too.   I'm not sure your situation but it's definitely not something to totally rule out, if there's a chance it could help you, why not?   

I can understand the stress of moving, so just take that day by day....you'll meet new people and it will start to feel like home eventually.  

Take care and I hope you feel better soon!

~Emily~

thank you so much!!

i was actually just thinking of how i dealt with  problems pre-op and it was like id smoke a cig or id eat or talk it out with somebody. and i dont smoke anymore or eat and some of my friends from home are not reachable sometime, and i dont all the time want to go runnning to my boyfriend, he worries way to much..

i have to find a new doctor here in ok to help me find a therapist or meds or something. ive been given xanax for anxiety before but i never filled the prescription (this was pre-op after i gained 100 pounds and they were blaming the anxiety on the major weight gain but its also in my family).
i so need something to calm me down.

ty again doll <3

i also understand about feeling alone, and not able to reach your friends... not able to vent about everything. the small things your bf does to tick you off, you can't run to him and vent about what you feel he is doing wrong. i am in the same boat, my best friend from high school lives in TX, another friend just moved to germany, and now we are on our way to japan, where i'm leaving behind everyone and everything... so i understand.. i know this site is a big help in venting and trying to figure out what is going on in your life and your world. but you can come here and just ***** if you need to.. we all are girlfriends on here... we've all been in each others shoes...
i've never been on meds for depression but boy did i get depressed after surgery... i'm now 7 months out, i can't eat my feelings like i used to so i've learned to just let things go.. why stress life is so much easier to just let it go... when i feel way to uptight i do a little window shopping, don't know why getting online and looking at clothes makes me feel so much better, or hair colors.. so strange.. turn on my ipod and window shop..lol take time out for me...
things get better i promise..
Annmarie

im glad ya'll can relate! for a second i thought i was just super mental!!!!

<333 thanks again! 

I took anti depressants after surgery and boy do I think they made a difference. I thought I was a big jerk and I was told that I was doing good and no one noticed a big difference in my mood.
Also I talked to my GYN about the weightloss and she said that fat stores hormones so when you lose weight you are releasing them and you are on overload. No wonder i wanted to kill everyone all the time.
I also spent most of my time sitting around, doing nothing, and classic symptoms of depression mostly because i didnt feel good and was mourning a loss of food as an escape in my life. Food for fuel? how depressing!

On the bright side, after losing 100 lbs I am seeing the world much better now. I can move around and its not such a big deal to get up off the couch and do something productive.

Tell your BF and new friends that your a little crazy now, but it will even out in a while. (mine was at about 6 months) And norman ok is a strange little town. I bet you miss home! I would!
There are plenty of people there to make friends with that will not judge you for being a little crazy and you will make some good friends soon.

hey girl,
who did you go to to prescribe the anti depressants? im not sure to call my surgeon or my pcp (which sucks cause i have to go to a new pcp since i moved. great first impression! lol)

<3

Erica is right- fat stores estrogen (body fat actually PRODUCES estrogen, which is why women tend to have more fat than men, and why super thin women can miss periods / menstruation).  Estrogen is also the hormone that makes us crazy during PMS (estrogen spikes in the body's preparation to flush the lining of our uterus; basically, progesterone builds up that lining in preparation for ovulating and getting pregnant, and when we don't then estrogen levels increase to get rid of the lining and the "cycle" starts all over) and also makes women who are menopausal so hormonal.

I've read many times on here, and was warned by my NUT, that I'll likely have all kinds of mood swings, weepy sessions, anger, depression, etc, and that it's almost entirely hormonal, though the plethora of changes as a result of WLS only adds fuel to the fire.

Do what's best for you, but just know that it's normal!  I do recommend finding / talking to a PCP or your surgeon, though!