I know you all have heard this.. but... Im ******g scared outta my mind!

So surgery is 8/19 and im freaking out... I was supposed to quit smoking for 6 weeks before surgery which I did for a month then I recently started back up.. Im not telling my doctor or else he will postpone the surgery.. I know tsk tsk bad bad.. I havent bought a pack but iv been smoking sometimes 3 a day or 1 a day... Im scared of dying.. pulminary embolism, leak, allergic reaction, not waking up from anesthesia.. I dunno im scared ****less at least with my C- section I was awake to see everything! lol Im 23 I weight 237 right now.. I have a daughter who will be 2 years old 5 days after my surgery.. I dont want to die on her 2nd bday im having these crazy thoughts.. Again im sure you all have probably had them but still its scary! Im having it done at Albany Med by a wonderful surgeon named Dr. Singh... hes the best in the bariatric department but hes been doing so well that his mortality rate which is so low is about to turn a number and that will be my number... hes doing so well and had hardly any complications with his patients that its bound to happen and it happen to me.. You see all the ****** up thoughts going through my head? May I please get some advice/support?? Im not thinking of cancelling the surgery but im scared ****less of it. Thanks guys

aww mamaz its ok.I dont really have any advice cause I dont smoke but to be honest with you I would really stop smoking.You have a beautiful baby girl and you have worked very hard to get here.Just think about how life will be after surgery.It'll be ok.I just wanna make sure your ok cause you seem very nice and you are very beautiful.Take care of yourself. ttyl.

I was a smoker as well and what helped me was that I had to think of why I was getting the surgery in the first place.  I wanted to be healthy for me and have more energy for my kids, and not only that but to be a healthy role model for the kids.  Even thinking of this it is still hard to quit but you just have to be strong.  Try to keep your mind busy when you start thinking you need a drag.  When it comes to the scary thoughts,  I think we all go through that.  I was thinking the same things you were.  Like "what if I die, what about my kids!".   Im sure you'll be just fine.  Its better to get a surgeon with little mortality rate than a surgeon who has a lot right?  LOL!  Your gonna do great!  Dont let the scary thoughts get to you.  Try to think positive.   Also you look stunning now, just wait till after you have the surgery! 

Hi lady,

First off I can relate!   I was a smoker as well and knew the consequences of my actions - therefore I had to quit cold turkey!  It's hard but  you do what you got to do for the babies!    I just had my RNY on July 23rd and let me tell you.... I feel stupid for all the fears I had going into this.  I had ZERO pain no need to use the morphine pump at all.   I remember being in your shoes... thinking about death... I recall a very vivid dream where the doctor came out and told my mom and daughter "I'm sorry" and my daugther told the doctor why did you lie to me... you said she would you would take good care of her.  The dream played out with a furneral and all.  It's a trip how this surgery can **** with a persons mental state.  The reality of it is... death will occur when it's your time.  You can't predict it.  So as hard as what I'm going to say is... you have to stop worring about the negatives and focus hard on good vibes.  I lived my life the few weeks before as if it could possiably be my last.  I spent an absurd amount of money on myself and kid.   I had the thought - well I can't take it with me if something does go wrong.  In case... I know how it feels to have that much fear.  It's hard to overcome.  But I do have to stress - your smoking will only cause problems for you girl.  Get with the program and keep your eye on the your prize .  My prize is a size 12 jeans... there is nothing right now that will allow me to stray from that goal.  NOTHING.   I have a crazy amount of energy and are the same chick as before only I'm loseing weight and people that don't know I had the surgery can tell!  That's so rewarding in itself.

Hugs to you Lady....

You know whats funny? I have absolutely no problem not lighting up ever again after I have the surgery... I guess im doing the last supper thing but with ciggies. When did you quit? I think I actually need to cool it with OH because somehow I stumbled upon the WLS complications forum and oh my goodness im scared ****less. I know the fear will pass but still... its what if? you know..

I heard some places do tests to see if you've been smoking the day of surgery and if you have they send you home no surgery. I'd quit tonight if I were you. Smash your cigs and have a party of it. Give yourself a treat every day you go completely without and don't let yourself follow those mental traps. You'll be OK withou them. You'll be sooo much better once you've kicked the habit. What's the point of curing the #2 cause of preventable death in America... if you're just going to keep spending your life pursuing #1? Today's the day. Wait any longer and you're just hurting yourself more and more. Good luck!