Please help me!

So my wife is having the bypass sometime in late September and I keep reading of people on the site saying that their husbands couldn't handle it or things changed and that can't happen here! We have been together since we were in 8th grade and have a son who will be 4 in November. I want her to feel my support but she is sensitive and I dont want her to think I ampushing her in the wrong way after the surgery like I want her to lose weight because honestly I dont care! Lots of women her age that have been through this and all responces are welcome. One other thing I cook for us and am petrified because although I cook moderately healthy I have no clue what to do after. Thanks for the responces in advance!!!

 

hi- I am pre-op so i dont have a whole lot of advise for you. but i just wanted to say give yourself a pat on the back for really getting involved. the thing i can say is communitcate. sure sounds like you have that part down but sometimes its nice to have a reminder of how important it is

Thanks I just want her to to feel supported but I want to ask questions and already once she felt like I was putting the surgery down or saying she couldnt do it when I was just stating that it would be hard for the liquid diet and first few weeks post op. I feel like my wife is touchy about her weight and although she has opened up a bit since starting all of the per op stuff I want her to be happy with her decision and not think I dont want her to be happy. As I stated before I know that she is going to be more confident and guys are going to hit on her I just dont want her to get bored with us. She seems so excited and ful of life when she discusses being skinny and for health reasons many reason this is going to be great for her. She will be healthier and get her head right and we can likely ave more chidren when she loses weight. On top of all of that her being less self consious will help our romantic life I am sure... Rambling a bit so I'll stop there!!

Dont know why I put January everyone it is late September.

Hello!

Okay, let me just say for the record I think you're doing a great thing by taking the approach of wanting to research and use other resources to find ways to support her. It shows a good man who is willing to do what he can to keep the love of his life happy and in his life. Kudos to you!

As far as her getting healthier and losing the weight and becoming Super Hottie....it's probably going to happen! She'll probably get hit on a bit but that doesn't mean she's going to get bored with you! Just think of it as...as she loses weight and becomes healthier and able to do more active things...think of everything you two can do as a couple, as a family with your kid. Go on hiking trips, be more active at the park with your son, maybe camping, amusement parks, traveling more comfortably. Those are just the fun activities, let alone the daily things you can do together. I think that as long as she still feels that you support her, that you still love her...you two will be golden. Don't put it in your head already that you two are going to split as soon as she turns into Mrs. Hottie.   Remember that she married you for a reason. There is a reason you two have been together since the 8th grade! Take the negative out of your head, mister.

Oh, and might I suggest date night for you two? Starting now, even! It will help her build a bit of self confidence.

Okay, as far as cooking goes...here is a really great resource! theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com   - There you can find all sorts of recipes that are WLS friendly. I no longer tolerate meat and there are even some meatless friendly recipes. It's really a real life-saver! I frequent the site quite a bit snooping around for little meals. I've made some for me and shared with my family and they have all loved it as well! I'm currently the grilling fool of the household :P Here is a whole page for tips on the Pureed stage when she gets to that point after liquids. She offers some tips on things I never would have thought to try! theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/08/pureed-foods .html

Okay - so just be confident that you're not going to lose your wife. Be confident in your relationship! 

Sorry I ramble on a bit     If you have any other questions feel free to message me or post away!

Yeah that eggface website is good. There is also a good cookbook "Eating Well After Weightloss Surgery." Your relationship might change. It depends on how you resond to the weight loss and how your wife responds to it. If you get jealous easily you might have a problem because your wife is going to be looking hot. If you adore her and let her know how beautiful and special she is everyday then you have a better chance of things going smoothly. My man has loved me and been very attracted to me at all weights. He never says how thin I am getting of anything like that but he tells be I am beautiful and jokes that he hopes I do not loose my boobs . If you are overweight and loose weight too I think that would help as well.

It also depends on your wifes personality. If she really likes attention and thinks that she is hot **** when she looses the weight and she deserves better than she is a ***** and your better off without her. But it doesn't sound like she is like that. I'm just saying - not to freak you out or anything. I think most people just like feeling better about their lives and health. It helps if you make the lifestyle changes with her. My man is not doing that so much right now but I am still new in my weight loss journey. We'll see. There is also a forum for spouces of WLS on this site. Check it out.

Good luck! And enjoy your sexy wife!

Thanks for the comments this is what she has been stating all along to my concrens it is just good to hear it from someone else who has been where we are. I could use to lose a few and have over the last few month and am feeling a lot better about the fact I can wear my old pants to work again so I know it is exciting to lose. Gotta admit I have never onece in my life not been attracted to my wife and doubt that will be of any issue but she is a little concerned about me not likeing her so skinny (rediculous) i love her for her and that is it.  kinda worried about her losing her boobs but she may not who knows... we both have our fauts but I am looking forward to our new life just going to be wierd that what we do on a date is not EAT!!. We live in New Orleans and food has been our life for years. Not that I want to keep that life just going to be odd to see life for both of us change... Thanks for the food site really going to help me out!! Keep it up I appreciate it!!!!

Ummm... There is something I forgot to tell you. Hmones are stored in fat and s she looses weight she may go through more "moods." I feel bi-polar these last few weeks. One minute I am feeling good and happy I wanna hang out with people and I am all over my man. Then the next day I am lazy and feeling hopless. Just somthing to know! And sex drive can be reved u*****n-existant because hormones trigger that. If you have any problems with your relationship discuss iit early on. The bst times I have had with my man recently was driving through the mountains and stopping at little hiking spots. Exercise releases feel good hormones that make you feel closer to your spouce. Your kid could probably use some time out enjoying nature and a little increased heart rate.